School Daze

 Nothing personal against schools but I found this prank on a Virginia school board particularly amusing since the list of names submitted for making public comments was straight off the Simpsons. Okay even if the board member who read the list didn't catch what he was saying one would think that if anyone at the meeting was paying the least bit of attention someone would have said something,or started laughing. The list follows,and for anyone still wondering none of the list of names actually showed up at the meeting to comment. Phil McCracken,Eileen Dover,Wayne Kuhr,Suk Mahdik,Ophelia McCaulk and Don Kedick,it was suggested that maybe they skipped the meeting to grab a drink with Al Kohlic. 

 

Moron Travel

In a nod to yesterday's travel related post and an adventure called the "Moronic Moped Marathon" by the man who completed his travels of the UK's funniest and rudest named places to raise funds for cancer research to honor his friend who recently died,I now present the names of places he visited. I get them all but the final destination but maybe it means something else in the UK? 

• Ass Hill, Wimborne, Dorset
• Sandyballs holiday village, New Forest
• Pishill, Oxfordshire
• Titty Ho, Raunds, Northamptonshire
• Willey, Warwickshire
• Penistone, South Yorkshire
• Upperthong, West Yorkshire
• Cockfield, County Durham
• Ogle, Northumberland
• Cockermouth, Cumbria
• Clitheroe, Lancashire
• Bell End, Worcestershire
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Attractive Attractions

 Either you enjoy off the beaten track sight seeing or you fall in line with the regular attractions in any given area. I kind of enjoy both though have found that either type can be disappointing. Without further ado I present some of the lesser known sights to see. 

Whale car wash 

This giant hat and boot is in Washington,but there is also a giant boot in I believe Pendleton? OR

Dog Bark B&B in ID 

I tried to run down where I had seen the giant boot and can't find where it was,Pendleton had some around town in 2010 but they don't seem like the one I saw. Another one of life's mysteries. 

Have a Cow

Today's post should give everyone something to think about at least I have a lot of questions with no answers. A woman in Wisconsin was startled to see a cow in the back of a Buick sedan,but wait,there's more! She spotted it going through a McDonald's drive thru. My first thought was are they punishing the cow,or simply showing it where it could end up? Then I wondered why someone would or could for that matter get a cow into a Buick sedan,as it turns out it was actually a calf and there were two other calves who were lying down on the seat,so that part has an answer. The next question is how they went about cleaning up the mess in the Buick? Cow poop is rather on the runny side so it isn't like you could pick it up with a pet clean up bag.  This really seems like something more likely to happen in Florida. 

Stoned or Stupid

 I'm guessing this time it was a combination of stoned and stupid when a 25 year old man and his ex-fiancee decided to meet at a motel for one last night together. Unfortunately neither one of them thought to bring condoms not to mention the fact that they had both ingested a chemical cocktail so it isn't entirely surprising that they thought it would work if they glued his penis closed to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Boy did that idea blow up in their faces! The man ended up dead of organ failure from an unknown cause and the case is still under investigation and toxicology tests are underway. The moral of the story is always have birth control at hand as it really is a matter of life or death.  

Farting Around

 Have you heard of a pro-farter? Up until earlier today I was unaware such a thing existed,though very little surprises me anymore. I'm not really clear exactly how it started,only that she was contacted online with a request to "let it rip" on camera. It turned out to be one of her most popular videos followed by people offering to pay for more farts. Since she is lactose intolerant all she has to do is eat some cheese and she's ready for business. She has charged up to $175 per fart,the most made in one day is $4,000 and she figures she has made around $25,000 so far with her hobby. I would say nice work if you can get it but that just doesn't ring true. 

 

What a Croc?

Just when a person thinks they've heard/seen it all something comes along to prove them wrong. Given a million years I would have never thought of Crocs as being anything other than the casual shoes they started out to be,I mean how do you make a rubber shoe into a fashion statement? Of course their casual style is a statement of its own but now they have paired with Balenciaga to create,drum roll please...Stiletto Crocs! No,I'm not kidding. Shout out to Kacey,you should have waited to replace your Crocs,think of the good times you could have in Stiletto Crocs! 

Body Bunk

  I'm not sure this body language expert actually knows what she is talking about since some of the tips seem contradictory. The first tip is about feet,if their feet are pointed at you that indicates interest if they are pointed away it means discomfort,though she doesn't go into great detail I don't see this as any real sign since I often either sway of shift from foot to foot no matter who I'm talking to because it bothers my back to stand still for long. Next she claims if a person's hands are hidden they are uncomfortable and don't want to be involved with you,where if their hands are exposed they feel at ease. Maybe it's just me but when I'm talking to someone who talks with their hands I become distracted from the conversation. The one thing I do agree on is the eyes,when a person tries to put on a fake smile it doesn't reach their eyes. I also put importance on eye contact and never know what's going on if someone is wearing sunglasses,not only do shades hide the eye's expressions they also allow for looking elsewhere and not being engaged. Of course with social distancing I guess it doesn't matter right now. Thanks to everyone who has been vaccinated for doing your part to get this mess under control. 

Age

 I found some entertaining quotes on age for everyone to enjoy. 

You know you're old when your walker has an air bag...and they've discontinued your blood type. Phyllis Diller 

There's one advantage to being 102. No peer pressure. Dennis Wolfberg 

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres 

I told my doctor I want to stop aging. He gave me a gun. Rodney Dangerfield 

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Kurt Vonnegut 

The older a person gets,the less they care what they wear. Old people come up with some of the strangest clothing combinations you'll ever see. I think of it as "cancer of the clothing." George Carlin

Sea Snake Sex

 If you suffer from ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) you may want to skip today's post,believe me, I will understand! Imagine if you will the peace of snorkeling or scuba diving... you are enjoying the various aquatic life and underwater scenery when out of the coral a 6 foot long sea snake attacks you,it wouldn't matter at that point if it had bit me or not because I would have died of fright but studies have shown that the snake has incredibly poor vision and is approaching you in hope of you being a sea snake of the opposite sex. The attacks mainly occur during mating season when two males are fighting or as part of the courting ritual. It wouldn't matter why at that point because I would be long gone! 

Rat's Rights

 Starting around three decades ago images of rats have been used by various unions to protest in front of businesses they were striking against. The rats were all named Scabby after the word scab that is used to describe workers who cross the picket line,not to be confused with Scabbers the rat of Harry Potter fame. Eventually the signs bearing rats evolved into blow up rats complete with red eyes and scabs. Most people enjoy the rats and even take selfies with them but the businesses that get caught in the union conflict are not so adoring and in fact they tried to made it a legal issue but the court decided that the rats had freedom of speech rights and they could continue with their work! 

Nurse From Hell

 It's not my intention to body shame anyone though it seems like it should be said that moderation and balance should be applied to any elective alterations done to bodies which is where ethical doctors should step up as they did with this woman though she plans to go on with getting larger breasts with a less than ethical doctor. The doctors explained that she was too small to carry the extra weight and that her skin would also be caused to pucker because it was already at the maximum stretching point. Never mind that this woman is a nurse and should know better and even recognize that maybe she should see a different kind of doctor. The scariest part of all is waking up and finding this nurse tending to your ailing body. A fresh kind of insanity for sure.