Mr. Clean & Assoc

 Does anyone remember when Florida was a regular feature in my posts? I'm not sure if Floridians got less crazy or if their craziness simply became normalized, though they are finally making a reappearance that will leave you scratching your head, just like the olden days. A man police called Mr. Clean and a woman entered a Family Dollar Store in Mulberry, Florida and while the man began filling his shopping cart with $500 worth of Tide, Gain, and Clorox cleaning supplies the woman proceeded to squat and defecated on the floor. The distraction worked as both walked away from the scene and were caught on camera leaving in a white van.. So far they've made a clean getaway... 

Summer Surprise

Of course it's not quite summer yet though the sunshine allows a person to dream and some guys might want to rush into summer after reading today's post. Have you ever heard of summer penis? Not everyone experiences summer penis which might be a good thing since there is some discomfort involved. In warmer weather blood vessels expand which in turn makes for a bigger looking penis, though some men are bothered with expanded genitalia they are advised to simply wear looser fitting clothes and breathable underwear. Sadly it is only a temporary condition and does not lead to better sex and yes there is such a thing as winter penis which is pretty much the opposite as any of you who have taken a cold shower could testify. 

 

States Marked Safe

 Is your state in the top 10 states most likely to survive an alien invasion? The researchers at GIGAcalculator took into consideration factors like terrain (percentage of land covered by forests and water and the number of caves), population density, and essential personnel (like active and inactive military, law enforcement, and engineers) per 1000 people. Oddly enough most of the states in the top 10 were in the eastern portion of the country. Also odd was that Nevada is the worst place to be because it's mainly desert and nothing to do with Area 51. Check below to see if your state made the top ten.

1. Virginia 

2. Alabama 

3. Massachusetts

4. New York 

5. Minnesota 

6. Florida 

7. Wisconsin 

8. North Carolina 

9. Alaska 

10. Georgia  

1



According to the report, many states located in the southeast and northeast seem better equipped for the disaster. The former region takes four out of 10 spots on the list, while the latter occupies two. More specifically, Virginia has the highest likelihood of survival, with a score of 8.06 out of 10. The state boasts the third-highest percentage of military members in the country (17 per 1000 residents). It also has plentiful forest areas (.63 percent covered) and caves (29) for shelter.

Fooled Me

 I usually don't get had by April Fools jokes but in my defense I didn't actually read about the so called Plaid Poison Dart Frog until this morning so my guard was down. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! The folks at "Moss and Fog" got me with their description of the Plaid Frog and how patterns like plaid, paisley, and argyle could be found in nature and even wondered if the frog had maybe adopted its coloring from a discarded piece of a plaid shirt, but the lightbulb really should have come on when they had various pictures of slightly different patterns, nope I was already sold, hook, line and sinker. We can only hope no frogs were harmed in the making of this April Fools joke!

Canceled

I received notice from Google earlier today that they are canceling their blog department, but for now on with the show! Make sure to read today's post to the end. 

4/1 St. Stupid Day  

4/2 National Walking Day 

4/3 Fan Dance Day 

4/4 Vitamin C Day 

4/5 Sorry Charlie Day 

4/6 Hostess Twinkie Day 

4/7 National Beer Day 

4/8 National Library Day 

4/9 National Unicorn Day 

4/10 National Farm Animals Day 

4/11 Submarine Day 

4/12 National Licorice Day 

4/13 Scrabble Day 

4/14 National Dolphin Day 

4/15 That Sucks Day 

4/16 Banana Day 

4/17 Ford Mustang Day 

4/18 Pinata Day 

4/19 National Garlic Day 

4/20 National Cheddar Fries Day 

4/21 Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day 

4/22 National Jelly Bean Day 

4/23 Spanish Language Day 

4/24 Sauvignon Blanc Day 

4/25 DNA Day 

4/26 Alien Day 

4/27 World Tapir Day 

4/28 Save the Frogs Day 

4/29 World Wish Day 

4/30 Adopt a Shelter Pet Day 

April Fools! Google didn't really cancel the blog...yet! 

Rhino Air

 Critically endangered rhinoceroses are on the rise again, from their count of 2,500 in 1990 to present day their population is around 6,500. In the early days of the conservation the rhinos were drugged then put into crates to be relocated by truck and many were injured in the process. Then it was decided to incorporate the old Vietnam helicopters into the rescue effort and after a few tweaks they have it down to a science. In the early days they were transporting them in nets below the helicopters but there were several problems with that method so they started flying them upside down which has allowed about 270 successful airlifts and works well with the rhinos body structure allowing them to breath easier. In case anyone's wondering the reason they have to be relocated is mainly to prevent inbreeding though there is the need to not over graze areas too, plus they repopulate more quickly when their numbers are smaller. 

Pad Terr

The unrest over Musk has caused demonstrations and worse at various dealerships across the nation and even though he is doing his best to tear our country down it doesn't mean it's okay to destroy things related to him, though it is still understandable. So what about two RFA engineers in London who went on a drunken spree and kicked and yanked a Paddington Bear statue until it broke in half then beat a retreat taking Paddington's remain with them? A judge ruled that they were the antithesis for everything the bear stood for and noted the label on the bear's coat said, "Please look after this bear." The pair were ordered to perform community work and each pay a fine of $3,527 for repairs but stopped short of calling the Paddington Terrorists.