A Few Mondegreens

For those of you who don't know, a mondegreen is misheard lyrics to songs. Mostly lyrics can be figured out from context though sometimes the mondegreen versions are a lot more fun. For instance Tiny Dancer was heard by many as Tony Danza which I happily substitute for the real lyrics plus I add, "count the head lice on the highway" for further amusement. Next up is "Message in a Bottle" by the Police, the line "A year has passed since I wrote my note" was misheard as, "A year has passed since I broke my nose." We'll finish up with "Beast of Burden" by the Rolling Stones and the line, "I'll never be your beast of burden" becomes, "I'll never leave your pizza burning". Enjoy your day and your new lyrics!

  

Support Scam

 Why do people feel the need to push the envelope when it comes to support animals? Just when you think you've heard it all then a gal tries to fly with her support peacock or any number of various nut jobs, but today's support animals are 7 tigers in Nevada. First off, 7?? being rather large one would think a single tiger would be adequate support, and tigers are fairly adaptable but desert living is not a type of habitat they enjoy, tigers, unlike most cats enjoy water. Plus the guy had no permits for the animals yet has a business called, Big Cats Entertainment, though maybe the business was how the tigers supported him? When the animals were seized some were under weight and several water dishes had algae growing in them. Did I mention that 6 of the 7 tigers formally belonged to Joe Exotic of Tiger King fame? It's a pity that those big kitties are being kept like that at all, by anyone. 

  

Who Sucks the Least

A recent survey (February 2025) asked 4,415 US adults if they had a view on the top 10 billionaires and for the most part they seem to have gotten it right. Warren Buffet took the top spot as he should since he doesn't just strip naked and roll around in his money, same with Bill Gates as the # 2 spot but from there the rest of the list are pretty much gag worthy, especially Musk. Oh, as a side note I wonder if Musk was named after someone's favorite melon since if you took out the second M in muskmelon you would have his name, last name first. Any wonder he's so angry. 

 

 

The Top 10 American Billionaires, Ranked by Popularity

The table below shows how the top 10 billionaires in the U.S. stack up by favorable and unfavorable ratings, as well as overall public awareness:

Rank	Name	Net Worth	Favorable (%)	Never Heard of Them (%)	Did Not Answer (%)	Unfavorable (%)
1	Warren Buffett	$165B	52%	18%	3%	26%
2	Bill Gates	$108B	49%	5%	3%	43%
3	Elon Musk	$357B	39%	4%	3%	55%
4	Michael Bloomberg	$105B	29%	29%	3%	39%
5	Jeff Bezos	$221B	29%	13%	3%	55%
6	Mark Zuckerberg	$216B	26%	7%	3%	64%
7	Steve Ballmer	$119B	16%	65%	2%	17%
8	Larry Ellison	$191B	13%	64%	3%	20%
9	Larry Page	$142B	11%	69%	3%	17%
10	Sergey Brin	$136B	9%	72%	2%	16%

Mr. Clean & Assoc

 Does anyone remember when Florida was a regular feature in my posts? I'm not sure if Floridians got less crazy or if their craziness simply became normalized, though they are finally making a reappearance that will leave you scratching your head, just like the olden days. A man police called Mr. Clean and a woman entered a Family Dollar Store in Mulberry, Florida and while the man began filling his shopping cart with $500 worth of Tide, Gain, and Clorox cleaning supplies the woman proceeded to squat and defecated on the floor. The distraction worked as both walked away from the scene and were caught on camera leaving in a white van.. So far they've made a clean getaway... 

Summer Surprise

Of course it's not quite summer yet though the sunshine allows a person to dream and some guys might want to rush into summer after reading today's post. Have you ever heard of summer penis? Not everyone experiences summer penis which might be a good thing since there is some discomfort involved. In warmer weather blood vessels expand which in turn makes for a bigger looking penis, though some men are bothered with expanded genitalia they are advised to simply wear looser fitting clothes and breathable underwear. Sadly it is only a temporary condition and does not lead to better sex and yes there is such a thing as winter penis which is pretty much the opposite as any of you who have taken a cold shower could testify. 

 

States Marked Safe

 Is your state in the top 10 states most likely to survive an alien invasion? The researchers at GIGAcalculator took into consideration factors like terrain (percentage of land covered by forests and water and the number of caves), population density, and essential personnel (like active and inactive military, law enforcement, and engineers) per 1000 people. Oddly enough most of the states in the top 10 were in the eastern portion of the country. Also odd was that Nevada is the worst place to be because it's mainly desert and nothing to do with Area 51. Check below to see if your state made the top ten.

1. Virginia 

2. Alabama 

3. Massachusetts

4. New York 

5. Minnesota 

6. Florida 

7. Wisconsin 

8. North Carolina 

9. Alaska 

10. Georgia  

1



According to the report, many states located in the southeast and northeast seem better equipped for the disaster. The former region takes four out of 10 spots on the list, while the latter occupies two. More specifically, Virginia has the highest likelihood of survival, with a score of 8.06 out of 10. The state boasts the third-highest percentage of military members in the country (17 per 1000 residents). It also has plentiful forest areas (.63 percent covered) and caves (29) for shelter.

Fooled Me

 I usually don't get had by April Fools jokes but in my defense I didn't actually read about the so called Plaid Poison Dart Frog until this morning so my guard was down. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! The folks at "Moss and Fog" got me with their description of the Plaid Frog and how patterns like plaid, paisley, and argyle could be found in nature and even wondered if the frog had maybe adopted its coloring from a discarded piece of a plaid shirt, but the lightbulb really should have come on when they had various pictures of slightly different patterns, nope I was already sold, hook, line and sinker. We can only hope no frogs were harmed in the making of this April Fools joke!