Handy Words

Today's post contains words from the past for you to incorporate into usage at your own discretion. Smelfungus is from the 18th century, it is used to label someone who always complains, especially when traveling. The 10th century equivalent of the F-bomb was "sard", it was even used in the Old English bible. Rantallion is an insult from the18th century used to mock and humiliate a man's masculinity, it means their penis is shorter than their scrotum. 

Nefarious Nursery Rhymes

 Nursery rhymes didn't start out as entertainment for children, they originally were used to send messages among the masses and at times to reveal what evil the ruling class was up to. For instance, "Pop Goes the Weasel" was about having to sell your fur coat when financial times were rough. Weasel referred to fur coats in the 19th century. "Baa Baa Black Sheep" had to do with taxes, in the 13th century King Edward I of England imposed a "sheep tax" requiring a portion of all wool be given to the monarchy. 3 blind mice represent the three protestant bishops who were executed under the reign of Queen Mary I of England for their rejection of Catholicism. 

For the Record

 If your goal for the New Year is to set a Guinness World Record here are some suggestions for you to try. Fastest 400 meter sack race, the 100 meter record is already  taken at 25.96 seconds. Set the longest record for playing air guitar. Most potatoes peeled in one minute. Make the tallest stack of Guinness World Record books in 30 seconds. Most coffeehouses visited in one month. Most items caught by a cat in one minute. Try for the fastest time to climb the height of Everest on stairs.  

Up the Butt Bob

 In a1977 episode of "The Newlywed Game" Bob Eubanks asked the question, "Where is the weirdest place you ever made whoopee?" One contestant answered, in the butt Bob. Seems like an appropriate way to kick off today's post on a report compiled by the government on the worst 25 things people had to go to the ER to have removed from their butts. 

1. Screws and nails

2. A dog chew toy

3. Beard clippers wrapped up in a plastic baggie, cited as being used as constipation relief

4. A baton

5. A turkey baster

6. A shampoo bottle (listed more than once)

7. A dental pick

8. A wine stopper

9. A corn cob holder

10. A highlighter

11. A magic wand toy

12. Marbles

13. A film canister

14. A sandal

15. A doorknob

16. A lightbulb, inserted glass side first which ‘due to the suction effect’ got ‘sucked up’

17. A flashlight

18. A vape pen

19. Two pencils

20. A corncob-style pipe

21. Uncooked pasta

22. A piece of nose hair trimmer

23. A pair of glasses

24. An egg

25. A rectangular travel toothbrush holder

What's It Mean?

Some of the big brand/tech names meaning are known by at least a few but for the most part people just accept them at face value without much thought. Here are a few of the more interesting names and how they came to be. eBay was originally called AuctionWeb but the owner also had a company named Echo Bay Technology Group but echobay.com couldn't be registered so he shortened it to eBay. "Hulu" has no English definition but a Chinese proverb describes hulu as the holder of precious things. Last on today's list is Airbnb which most folks assume means "online bed and breakfast" but the founders bought air mattresses for their guests and created a website called Air Bed & Breakfast, which was shortened to Airbnb. 

Utility Beard

 If a person is sporting a beard they may as well make it work for them, like sticking things in it that might come in handy, or like this guy who realized there was always food or something caught in his beard and decided to see what all his beard could hold which in turn garnered him many Guinness World Records. The following is a partial list of his records. 

• 7 July 2018 - most toothpicks in a beard – 3,500
• 21 November 2019 - most chopsticks in a beard – 520
• 21 November 2019 - most golf tees in a beard – 607
• 14 March 2020 - most forks in a beard – 121 (later bettered)
• 19 June 2020 - most paper straws in a beard – 534
• 17 November 2020 - most clothes pegs (clothespins) on a beard - 359
• 31 December 2020 - most pencils in the beard – 450 (later bettered)
• 21 September 2021 - most pencils in the beard – 456
• 17 November 2021 - most pencils put into a beard in one minute - 59
• 18 June 2022 - most chopsticks put into a beard in one minute - 86
• 5 November 2022 - most forks in a beard – 126
• 2 December 2022 - most beard baubles in a beard – 710
• 18 February 2023 - most cotton buds in a beard – 2,470
• 4 October 2023 - most chopsticks put in a beard in one minute (team of two) – 104 with David Rush and Garrett Smith (both USA)
• 5 December 2023 - most pipe cleaners in a beard – 1,150
• 9 December 2023 - most candy canes in a beard – 187 (later bettered)
• 14 March 2024 - most BBQ skewers in a beard - 600
• 16 December 2024 - most candy canes in a beard – 200
• 30 August 2025 - most birthday candles in the beard – 613
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Ready? Set?

 Let's jump into this year feet first and try to make it something special! 

1/1 World Day of Peace 

1/2 National Buffet Day         

1/3 Festival of Sleep Day 

1/4 Trivia Day 

1/5 National Bird Day 

1/6 National Bean Day 

1/7 National Bobblehead Day 

1/8 Argyle Day 

1/9 Play God Day 

1/10 Eagle Day 

1/11 National Milk Day 

1/12 National Clean Off Your Desk Day

1/13 Rubber Ducky Day 

1/14 World Logic Day 

1/15 National Hat Day 

1/16 National Nothing Day 

1/17 Cable Car Day 

1/18 Thesaurus Day 

1/19 National Popcorn Day 

1/20 National Cheese Lovers Day 

1/21 Mariachi Day 

1/22 National Polka Dot Day 

1/23 National Pie Day 

1/24 Belly Laugh Day 

1/25 National Irish Coffee Day 

1/26 Clashing Clothes Day 

1/27 International Port Wine Day 

1/28 National Kazoo Day 

1/29 National Puzzle Day 

1/30 Croissant Day 

1/31 Fruitcake Toss Day