Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Smalls at Large

In an attempt to offer further proof that I'm not singling Florida out for the odd events that occur there today we will focus on strange things closer to home. After being on the loose since November the pot bellied pig known as "Piggy Smalls" was captured in Forest Grove which isn't that strange but the police department went on to highlight other recent events including:
"Officers helped free a dog that unsuccessfully attempted to escape home through a dryer vent."
"Police contacted a man in a vehicle parked in front of a bus stop. The man was barefoot and was asked about the large amount of blisters on his feet. The man stated he was hiking in India and believed there were worms in his feet. He declined any offer of assistance."
"A clerk locked himself out of a local convenience store again. A customer was able to assist prior to police arrival."
"A caller reported a subject with a plastic bag over his head riding a motorized cart. An officer determined it not a person or a cart, but was a wagon covered in plastic."
"Police reviewed a report from Children's Services that Grandma was using the 'F' word around the grandkids. No crime was determined."
"A woman reported finding her vehicle in a different place from where she had parked it. Upon further reflection, she thought it was possible she forgot that she parked it at the location."

Monday, February 6, 2017

Frage

We all knew it wouldn't be long before Florida showed up in a post,they seem to have a never ending supply of weirdness down there. Frage is a word I made up just for today's topic which is Florida Road Rage as only Florida can do (F for Florida + rage). Witnesses reported that the 53 year old man driving a Toyota Camry had been driving recklessly before coming to a stop at a traffic light behind a pickup truck. The man got out and went to the truck and started punching the 18 year old driver in the face,the driver was yelling stop! I have my girlfriend and my 11 month old baby in here with me! The girlfriend tried to stop the attack by claiming to be armed which caused the man to go back to his car to search for his gun,the 18 year old put the truck in reverse and drove over the Camry before the other driver could get a weapon. The 53 year old was arrested for driving with a suspended license for failure to pay child support,burglary,battery and criminal mischief. The pickup driver was not charged with anything and no guns were found in either vehicle.

Image result for pictures of pickup truck backing over toyota camry
Image result for pictures of pickup truck backing over toyota camry

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Stoned or Stupid?

Just to prove it isn't always Florida a woman in Australia called the local (Northern Territory) police to complain about her drug dealers price increase for marijuana. She demanded that the police investigate this outrageous price hike,then hung up the phone. The police decided to capitalize on the situation and posted on their Facebook page that they would be happy to help anyone who felt their drug dealer was ripping them off. I'm going to go with stoned on this one but it could be the old one-two combo,both stoned and stupid.


Saturday, February 4, 2017

In a Pickle

Pickles are a food you either love or hate,I am a pickle lover but I am extremely picky about pickles,that said I found several pickle items a person can purchase if so inclined.
Pickle Soap

Pickle Sports Drink

Pickle Popcorn (This sounds good!)

Pickle Pops (Non sugar snack)

Pickle Vodka (I may need to try this)

Pickle Pop Rocks

Pickle Lip Balm (Helps with the pucker)

Friday, February 3, 2017

Bet Debt

Poor Zack Cobert thought he was betting on a sure thing when he bet his friend that he would get a Trump tattoo if Trump was elected. He is now sporting what he refers to as a "Trump Stamp"(I'm assuming this is a takeoff on tramp stamp). I have no idea why he had the tattoo on his lower back unless he didn't want to have to see it? if it had been me I think I would have opted for a butt cheek. His girlfriend wasn't happy about it either because she was the one that was always going to be looking at it. Speaking of Trump...still no further word on a White House pet,if he doesn't get a pet he will be the first president in 150 years to have a pet free White House.


Image result for pictures of zack cobert's tattoo
Patton, a 9-week-old Goldendoodle that may or may not become the nation's First Dog. (Photo courtesy of Lois Pope)

Thursday, February 2, 2017

That Explains It!

I had read about this incident earlier in the day then learned a little more when the same story was on the News at Noon. Before I get into the particulars I'm thinking this gal should move to Florida to be closer to like minded people. I have often wondered why people would want gauges in their ears but now that I've seen what they can be used for it all seems so obvious...carrying your pet ball python of course! When I read about it she said the snake was just resting on her shoulder one minute then the next it was caught in her gauge hole which seemed a little unlikely to me. When she was interviewed on TV she was kind of stammering and gave me the impression it was all part of her master plan for her 15 minutes of fame,but that could very well be my suspicious tendency speaking.

Image result for pictures of woman with python stuck in gauge
Image result for pictures of woman with python stuck in gauge

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Shorty

It seems like January barely got started and here we are already beginning February. It's probably not politically correct to call it Shorty but I'm calling it as I see it.
February is National Laugh-Friendly Month,so get out there and do your part!
2/1 Hula in the Coola Day
2/2 Crepe Day
2/3 Working Naked Day
2/4 Ice Cream for Breakfast Day
2/5 Popcorn Day
2/6 Canadian Maple Syrup Day
2/7 Ballet Day
2/8 Laugh and Get Rich Day
2/9 National Pizza Day
2/10 Plimsoll Day
2/11 Satisfied Staying Single Day
2/12 Safety Pup Day
2/13 National Wingman's Day
2/14 National Donor Day
2/15 National Gum Drop Day
2/16 National Almond Day
2/17 My Way Day
2/18 National Drink Wine Day
2/19 Chocolate Mint Day
2/20 Love Your Pet Day
2/21 International Mother Language Day
2/22 National Margarita Day
2/23 Single Tasking Day
2/24 World Bartender Day
2/25 International Sword Swallowers Day
2/26 For Pete's Sake Day
2/27 Cupcake Day
2/28 Spay Day
Enjoy the month!
Image result for pictures of february
Image result for pictures of february