Honest Answer

A 25 year old man wanted a different opening line for a woman he saw on a dating site,so he decided to go with,"What would you do if you were a man for the day?" I'm pretty sure the response he got wasn't what he expected.
The reply: What an opportunity. Spend 4/5 minutes getting ready,maybe not even wear a shirt cos fuck it. Piss whenever (or maybe wherever) for the novelty of standing up. Heavily come onto a load of men's rights activists to make them feel uncomfortable. Definitely catcall them too. Keep scratching my balls in public. Sit everywhere with my legs spread wide open and not be judged. Ask someone to kick me in the balls so I know for a fact period pain is worse. Do a mediocre day's work and get more praise and money for it. Fuck multiple people and not feel bad after. Or get slut shamed. End the day by celebrating my privilege by a night out and not think twice about walking home alone. She ended her rant with "Bet you wish you'd never asked."

And I Quote

With many of the population currently worried over financial concerns I thought some quotes about money might lighten the mood.
I never had a penny to my name. So I changed my name. Henny Youngman
I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. Groucho Marx
I had a nest egg,but I lost it gambling. I was betting I'd be dead by now. Drew Carey
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,to buy things they don't want,to impress people they don't like. Will Rogers
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And,of course,I bought some dumb stuff too. Steve Martin

Picture Perfect?

At least a couple of people are making lemonade out of the onslaught of lemons known as Corvid 19. Photographers wanting to exercise their skills plus provide a diversion to families and also to document the pandemic are doing porch portraits where they are still distancing themselves to keep everyone safe and the results are usually humorous. 

A Dog's Life

Two dog tales in a row! This beagle,Zeke,however was not behind the wheel in fact he was somehow under his owner's truck where he managed to hold on for 40 miles until they reaching Rochester Public Market in New York where his owner is a vendor. When they reached the market Zeke barked and his owner called the fire department,after several minutes of accessing the situation they called in Animal Services and a vet sedated Zeke allowing him to be removed,he had minor injuries but should make a full recovery. I spent over an hour trying to find out where Zeke was under the truck that enabled him to ride for 30 minutes without coming dislodged but didn't come up with an answer,nor was it mentioned how he became trapped under the truck,but that's alright it will give us all something to think about.

Driving Lesson

A 51 year old Washington man driving a 1996 Buick allegedly struck two parked vehicles before leading police on a high speed chase (109 mph) down I5. One of the  troopers in pursuit reported seeing a pit bull in the drivers seat and a man steering from the passenger seat. Eventually the troopers had to use spike strips to stop the car. When an officer approached the car she was shocked to hear the man's excuse...he was teaching his dog to drive. The man was arrested and charged with DUI,reckless driving,hit and run and felony eluding the authorities. He was later released on $8,500 bond,the sweet girl doggy driver was taken to a local shelter and wasn't charged.

Karmageddon

I feel bad for trump followers as they must lead miserable lives where they are forced to believe lies are truth and they are nothing more than pawns in and endless con game. A recent development has reinforced their undying devotion as another snake oil,or in this case pillow salesman,stepped up to aid the situation caused by trump's arrogance and incompetence. Then there is the continual whining about how he is abused by the press who are only doing their jobs as the Fourth Estate watchdogs who have held every president's feet to the fire when needed. Trump supporters should also listen,or better yet read more than one news source,then make up their own minds based on facts not fiction. In conclusion,if there is such a thing as karma trump's house of cards is overdue for implosion and I can only hope it happens before more damage is done. 

Twitchy

I thought I was doing okay with the shelter in place deal until I found myself really looking forward to changing the month on the calendar,so I guess I could use more stimulation.
4/1 St. Stupid Day
4/2 National Burrito Day
4/3 Fan Dance Day
4/4 Vitamin C Day
4/5 National Deep Dish Pizza Day
4/6 Hostess Twinkies Day
4/7 National Beer Day
4/8 Draw a Bird Day
4/9 National Unicorn Day
4/10 National Farm Animals Day
4/11 International "Louie Louie" Day
4/12 Walk on Your Wild Side Day
4/13 Scrabble Day
4/14 National Dolphin Day
4/15 That Sucks Day
4/16 Save the Elephants Day
4/17 Ford Mustang Day
4/18 Adult Autism Day
4/19 National Garlic Day
4/20 National Cheddar Fries Day
4/21 National Library Day
4/22 National Jelly Bean Day
4/23 English Muffin Day
4/24 National Day of Silence
4/25 Save the Frogs Day
4/26 National Pretzel Day
4/27 National Devil Dog Cakes Day
4/28 National Brave Hearts Day
4/29 Zipper Day
4/30 National Honesty Day

Enjoy your month and with any luck we will be out and about sometime in the future.