Wild Boar Chase

In yet another case of the world running amok,animals near Berlin seem to have developed an inclination for kleptomania. Yesterday it was a shoe stealing fox,today it's a laptop stealing wild boar and two piglets. The boar picked up the plastic bag the man had stored his laptop in and was making off with it when the man who had been sunbathing nude noticed and gave chase. In case anyone was wondering the man laughed and gave permission to use the photos once he gave up the chase. It is unknown if he ever recovered the laptop.

Outfoxed

Apparently foxes have a thing for shoes,or at least a couple of them do. A few days ago a fox in Berlin stole more than 100 pairs of shoes that had been left outside. Of course no one realized it was a fox making off with their shoes until one man saw the fox running off with a pair of blue flip-flops in its mouth. Before the Berlin shoe heist a different fox in Fairfax,Va turned out to be a shoe thief as residents were leaving their shoes at the door because of the Covid virus. That fox was using the shoes as toys for her pups,it is unknown why the Berlin fox had turned to stealing shoes.

Body Disposal

As stress levels continue to grow some folks may find themselves unable to cope so today I'll offer a helpful hint on ways to get rid of that pesky body. Most of you have probably heard the old saying,"went to shit and the hogs ate him",well hogs really will eat almost the entire human body given the opportunity. All you need to be careful about is hair and teeth as they don't eat those,and sometimes the femurs are left mostly intact. Once you've addressed those minor details you should be good to go. Sorry about the dark humor,it's just one of those kind of days. 

Supergirls

Not one but two girls came up with life saving inventions to save children left in vehicles. Though they both are outstanding at tackling problems most kids wouldn't stop to think about I think in this case the 12 year old's application is more affordable and can be moved from seat to seat as the child grows whereas the 17 year old's device is dependent on newer cars and technology that may not be financially available to everyone. The 12 year old's device is put under the pad of the car seat and is activated if 5 lbs of pressure is applied,then if it records a temperature of 102 degrees it sets off an alarm and sends a text to the parents phone,if there is no response within 60 seconds it dials 911 and sends its GPS location. The girl won $20,000 for her invention from CITGO's Fueling Education Student Challenge. Well deserved,I might add!

 

Money Laundering

No,not that kind of money laundering,but the actual washing of money. Concerns over money being contaminated with the Covid 19 virus has caused people in South Korea to try running their bills both through a cycle in the washing machine and trying to zap the virus to death in the microwave which in turn has caused damage to the bills. Officials warned not to use either method as once the currency is damaged it is hard to tell how much there was making it difficult to give any replacement for the ruined bills. I'm not sure what their bills are made of but I've accidentally washed money in the past with no  damage other than to the dirt.
 

Virus Brain

Did anyone notice that I didn't post the usual first of the month planner yesterday? On some level I knew it was August 1st but I didn't KNOW it was August 1st until around 5:30.

8/1 National Mahjong Day
8/2 Friendship Day
8/3 Watermelon Day
8/4 National Chocolate Chip Day
8/5 National Underwear Day
8/6 National Root Beer Float Day
8/7 International Beer Day
8/8 International Cat Day
8/9 Book Lovers Day
8/10 Assistance Dog Day
8/11 National Hip Hop Day
8/12 Vinyl Record Day
8/13 National Prosecco Day
8/14 National Navajo Code Talkers Day
8/15 International Homeless Animals Day
8/16 National Rollercoaster Day
8/17 Baby Boomer's Recognition Day
8/18 National Fajita Day
8/19 International Orangutan Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be an Angel Day
8/23 Go Topless Day
8/24 Pluto Demotion Day
8/25 National Whiskey Sour Day
8/26 National Dog Day
8/27 Just Because Day
8/28 National Weed Out Hate Day
8/29 More Herbs,Less Salt Day
8/30 Pony Express Day
8/31 National Matchmaker Day

Sorry if my mental lapse inconvenienced anyone!

Funny Money

What kind of Mickey Mouse operation would send out tax refund checks signed by Mickey Mouse and Walt Disney? The answer is not the trump administration,as hard as that may be to believe,this time the error was courtesy of Rhode Island Division of Taxation. The 176 checks were supposed to be part of test run of the automated refund system but due to a technical error they were mailed out. In another extraordinary stroke of luck most of the checks were corporate refunds,so at least people who might really need the money will not be inconvenienced. The phony checks will be replaced within a week according to the officials...if their word can be trusted!