Hmm Things

 I don't remember the last time I did a shower thoughts post which means it must be time! 

Have you ever wondered how many places you've already visited for the last time?

Maybe plants are really farming us,giving us oxygen until we expire and turn into mulch which they can consume. 

Aliens invaded the moon on July 20,1969. 

I think this is my favorite:

Today's vehicles can surf the web,link to your phone,stream music and videos and yet they can't perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for. 

Crime Doesn't Pay

 The thief who broke into a freight truck in Denver was probably surprised when he viewed his ill-gotten gains. He had scored a box of human heads and a dolly,the box had been marked "Exempt Human Specimen" and "Science Care"which should have given pause to the thief unless that was the intended target which seems unlikely. The heads had been donated for research and education purposes. If you should happen across a box of heads you are asked to call the Denver Police. If this wasn't so macabre it might be funny,then again my sense of humor has always been on the dark side. 

 

Jet Setter

 Maybe in this case Jet Sitter might be more appropriate,it's all a little confusing. A 28 year old woman in Budapest is in love with her toy plane and not the way most people would express how they feel about an inanimate object. From the time she was a young child she has been obsessed with planes and dreamed of working with them,in 2021 her dream came true. At the first of 2022 she bought a toy plane online for around $655 USD and has been in a relationship with the plane since that time. She says he's her soulmate and they cuddle and kiss and have sex all night long. Her only concern is that she will ruin the relationship by giving in to temptation at work but so far all she has done if flirt with the other planes. 

Papa Bear

In another case of nature and the overpopulation of nature's area a 500 lb bear called Hank the Tank got a partial pardon when DNA proved he wasn't the only bear burglarizing the South Lake Tahoe area. Hank and the other two culprits managed to keep well enough fed to avoid hibernation by breaking and eating.  Hank proved to be smarter than the average bear and could not be kept out by normal means such as dead bolts,that bad boy would just bust his way in to the chow line. The good news is they don't intend to kill any of the intruders instead they are going to trap and tag them to further study how to deal with them in the future which made everyone,including their victims happy. No one wanted to see Hank come to harm as he was a nice bear that just wanted to sit there and eat. 

Cursed?

 Whether a person is superstitious or not sometimes it's better to just not push your luck,especially when you've been forewarned. In this instance a man bought an ugly painting from a woman at a flea market even after she warned him that the painting was bad news. Since he brought the painting home he became sleepless,uneasy,sick,his home became infested with insects and his healthy pet hamster died. He didn't need any more convincing and is now trying to off the painting on eBay for $50 with a warning about it being cursed. When asked why not just destroy the thing he replied that he was afraid it would only make things worse. Kind of spooky really,plus it reminds me of the book,"Thinner". 

 

Give Me a Break

 Just when you think you've heard it all along comes something new,or in this case as old as time but mainly new to the work place. Stripchat,an adult website and social network has installed pods equipped with masturbatory accessories including VR headsets,screens to watch porn and of course lube and tissues. Employees are allowed a 30 minute masturbation break every day,I'm not sure if this is in addition to a lunch break or maybe counts as half the allotted lunch break. The idea is to relieve work place stress  but with 200 employees and only 4 pods it seems like it might cause more stress.  

Canned Music

 Since March is National On-Hold Month I wanted to mention the music played while on hold. Is it just me or has it become even more annoying and louder? It's like they're begging you to hang up. 

3/1 Pig Day

3/2 Dr. Seuss Day 

3/3 World Wildlife Day 

3/4 Tartar Sauce Day 

3/5 Sock Monkey Day 

3/6 National Dentist's Day 

3/7 National Be Heard Day 

3/8 National Peanut Cluster Day 

3/9 Panic Day 

3/10 Land Line Telephone Day 

3/11 Dream 2022 Day 

3/12 Working Moms Day 

3/13 Donald Duck Day 

3/14 Potato Chip Day 

3/15 National Equal Pay Day 

3/16 No Selfies Day 

3/17 National Farm Rescuer Day 

3/18 Awkward Moments Day 

3/19 National Tequila Day 

3/20 International Day of Happiness 

3/21 National Common Courtesy Day 

3/22 National Goof-off Day 

3/23 National Puppy Day 

3/24 National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day 

3/25 Old New Years Day 

3/26 Spinach Day 

3/27 World Theater Day 

3/28 Weed Appreciation Day 

3/29 National Mom&Pop Business Owner's Day 

3/30 Little Red Wagon Day 

3/31 National Crayon Day