Felonious Flowers

 Let's take a moment to consider our considerable freedom in the US,some of you may argue that mask/vaccine mandates encroach on your freedom where common sense would indicate that they are for your own protection and the protection of others,with that said let's talk flowers. A group of gardeners in North Korea have been sent to labor camps for failing to get the Kimjongilia Begonias (named after his late father) to bloom in time for his birthday celebration,the Day of the Shining Star on February 16. Never mind that due to a shortage of firewood the gardeners were unable to keep the greenhouses at the right temperature and humidity,but yes we are a seriously suppressed bunch here in the US. 

Fries With That?

 The Idaho Potato Commission, in an act of passion, released a perfume to celebrate Valentine's Day and promote the Idaho Potato. If you haven't guessed yet the perfume is made from distilled potatoes and essential oils and made to smell like a plate of fresh french fries. Stop me if I'm wrong but if a person wanted to smell like a plate of french fries couldn't they just go to work in most any fast food joint? The bottles were priced to sell at $1.89 so they had the cheap thing going for them and they sold out immediately though there is a contest on Instagram to win free bottles but even if you won it wouldn't be delivered in time for the holiday. Hopefully anyone giving gifts will already have purchased the items needed to express their affection. 

Final Heart On Offers

 I almost wasn't going to post these last few Valentine's Day gift ideas since they seem kind of lame but I gave my word so without further ado...

Fuckit Bucket Necklace

Vagina Onesie 

Just another Valentine's ugly sweater

Butt plug that can double as a Christmas tree

Vulgar Valentine's cookies
Happy Valentine's Day for those of you who need to hear it! Yes,I know it isn't until Monday.

Boxed In

 Anyone who has ever had cats will relate to this continuing saga. A couple in Canada ordered a Vitamix blender on Black Friday but have yet to use it but not because they ordered it in a Black Friday shopping frenzy but because their 3 cats immediately commandeered the box and have yet to release it,always making sure at least one of them has it covered. Of course the couple could just lift the cats off the box but that isn't done in the better cat houses,they have had suggestions on how to get around the blender occupation,such as tunneling in under the box,removing the Vitamix and leaving the box,they also asked for and received empty boxes from Vitamix hoping that decoy boxes might release the real box containing the blender. Rest assured no cats were harmed or went hungry during the occupation. 

Boning Up

 A 22 year old New York man is a bone-a-fied collector or all things skeleton related. He has over 200 human bones in his apartment with one room dedicated to spines that number in the hundreds. He started his odd collection after his father (a doctor) gifted him a rat skeleton and a human skull when he was 15 to use in a science fair and he's been digging bones every since. Mostly he adds to his collection from people contacting him about skeletal remains that have been left to them by relatives and they don't know what to do with them. He in turn supplies bones needed for medical studies. I guess I was still in the dark ages thinking it was illegal to have human remains to discourage grave robbers,once again,show me to think. 

Dumbed Down?

 Is everyone ready to take the rap for the brain shrinkage of cats and other animals who have been domesticated? According to researchers domesticated animals craniums have been shrinking for the last 10,000 years. They arrived at this conclusion after measuring domesticated cat's skulls then comparing them with feral cats in Africa and Europe and found the feral animals had larger skulls which they equate with larger brains. Even if the research is valid and today's cats have a 25% smaller brain does that really mean they are less smart? Most can still hunt and would probably be able to survive without human intervention plus they learned different things from being domesticated so it seems like regardless of skull size their brain capacity should be a wash,neither more intelligent nor less intelligent. or maybe I'm just defensive for the cats. 

Tributes

 The tributes to Betty White just keep rolling in which is fitting since she owned a piece of everyone's heart yet none will be enough to lessen the loss. Her adopted state of Minnesota recently asked citizens to vote for their favorite nicknames for 8 new snowplows and Betty Whiteout was the runaway winner with over 40,000 votes out of the 60,000 cast. Some other finalists that did not make the top eight include: Sled Zeppelin,Sir Plows A Lot,Catch My Drift,Lord Coldemort,3CPSnow and William Scrapespeare.