Shrinkage

 Time for some quotes on psychiatry.

Freud is the father of psychoanalysis. It has no mother. Germaine Greer 

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous;everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield 

How come at the psychiatrist the hour is only fifty minutes? What do they do with the ten minutes they have left? Do they just sit there going,"Boy,that guy was crazy. I couldn't believe the things he was saying. What a nut! Who's coming in next? Oh,no,another head case!" Jerry Seinfeld 

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. Samuel Goldwyn 

Including Zombies!

 An interesting trivia question grabbed my attention this morning about which "things" the CDC included on their website and lo and behold it was zombies. Their reasoning was if people are prepared for a zombie apocalypse they will be ready for other health hazards and disasters. To draw attention to the CDC mission and raise funds a Zombie Run was held where 2,500 runners had to run a 5k through mud and obstacles while being chased by 500 zombies. The runners were divided into three groups,Appetizers,Entrees and Dessert only 522 (21%) survived proving (at least to me)that running from zombies is not only too high impact but also not an efficient method of dealing with the undead. 

That Explains It

 If you wonder why you've never seen a unicorn or Bigfoot I think I've found some answers. In Michigan it is legal to hunt unicorns every day of the year except Valentine's Day,the bag limit is one unicorn per month,no females are to be taken and any banded unicorns must have the bands turned in to the state office or DNU (Department of Natural Unicorns). Next up a Bigfoot hunting bill was on the ballot in Oklahoma,it didn't pass and they only wanted Bigfoot trapped not killed offering a bounty of $25,000 for a live Bigfoot. This is why we can't have anything nice! 

 

Same Holiday?

 With the exception of Christmas and Easter most other holidays are celebrated on different days in various ways in other parts of the world. Halloween known in the US for costumes and trick or treating is most closely related to Samhain a Celtic pagan celebration that also had costumes and was on October 31-November 1,but other countries have their own dates and ways to celebrate. Most Asian countries have Hungry Ghost festivals which start in August or September and are celebrated for various lengths of time depending on the country. My personal favorite Halloween like celebration called Bun Day is in Iceland where in late February kids decorate sticks and use them to spank their parents while chanting Bun-Bun-Bun. They then receive powder sugar or chocolate topped pastry (bun) filled with jam or cream. The spanking part isn't as big of a part of the holiday as it once was but what fun that must have been for the kids. 

Say What?

 Mondegreen time! You know,those misheard lyrics or phrases that give a whole new meaning to miscommunication. First up is how mondegreen got the name which was from a misheard phrase that was supposed to be,"and laid him on the green" which was heard as "and Lady Mondegreen". Can you translate "Makin' carrot biscuits"?,"Takin care of business". "Betty in a dress" for "Bennie and the Jets","Alex the seal" for "Our lips are sealed","Saving his life from this warm sausage tea","Spare him his life from this monstrosity","Kicking your cat all over the place","Kicking your can all over the place". That's enough for this time,I hope everyone gets at least one laugh in! 

Tickle Me Elmo

 If this wasn't so sick and wrong it would be humorous. A home inspector in Michigan has been convicted of aggravated indecent exposure after a security camera caught him masturbating with a Tickle Me Elmo doll in a clients home,though he was acquitted of malicious destruction of property. He was arrested at the scene as the owners got an alert from their security system that someone was in the nursery...imagine their surprise when they saw what was going on. The police arrived and the man initially denied any wrongdoing until they explained his actions had been caught on security video. He faces up to 2 years in prison and a $2,000 fine. Poor Elmo.

You Don't Say

 Today's post is looking into the origins of some come idioms that even if you might not use you have surely heard. "Wear your heart on your sleeve" means being open about your feelings and comes from the Middle Ages when knights would wear an insignia on their arm representing the lady they were hoping to triumph,proclaiming their love for the world to see. 

Buttering someone up is praise in the excess in hope of a return and comes from Hindu tradition of throwing balls of clarified butter (ghee) at statues of deities in exchange for a good harvest. Who knew that gods liked butter and didn't have their own?