The Towel Nazi

If you can just hang with me one more day I promise I will get out of this rut and return to my normal well traveled rut!
This whole thing from start to finish had me nearly laughing because I kept thinking about the Seinfeld episode about the soup Nazi. The condo I was staying in last week is one I have stayed in many times and they offer a mid-week towel change but give you the option of using what is already in the condo. Since I was by myself I really didn't need to have them take the towels or leave more as there were plenty between the towel rack and linen closet. I had never been in the room in the years past when they came to do this service but wondered why they always changed the towels no matter what I did. You see there is a small sign in the bathroom that says: Everyday millions of gallons of water are used to wash towels that have only been used once. You Make The Choice: When we provide your midweek service and there is a towel on the rack this means, "I will use again." And a towel on the floor means,"Housekeeping please replace." My used towel was placed on the rack when the knock came on the door,I answered and told the person I don't need any additional towels...she smiled and stepped around me and went into the bathroom to gather the towels. I mentally shrugged and thought,"oh well,I tried to do the right thing." I wasn't sure when she had left because she had propped the door open when she came in,and luckily I had been there because she never came back to close the door. When I went into the bathroom to observe her handiwork I realized not only had she taken the towels she had also taken the bath mat,so now not only did I get towels I didn't need or want, I had to use extra towels in place of the bath mat...maybe next time I will simply wrestle the towel Nazi back out the door and sidestep the whole problem.

Getting Naked

For those of you interested in increasing your vocabulary the word for today is Ecdysiast,it is the technical word for a stripper. It relates to ecdysis,the scientific name for molting. Now to explain why I am including that...I had meant to include this with yesterday's blog,but it ran a little long which turned out to be fortunate as the same man showed up in the news again today. In April 2012 a Portland,OR man claiming security screeners were harassing him stripped naked in the security area and wouldn't put his clothes back on despite requests from TSA and police. The man explained that he flies a lot and it was a protest. He did not arrive at the airport with the intention of getting naked,but after being pulled aside for a pat-down after going through the metal detector he decided the most efficient way to handle the screening was to take his clothes off to show he wasn't carrying a bomb. He was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and indecent exposure. Today his case went to Federal Court and will be decided at a later date. His fine was $1,000. Sound like anyone you know??
In a somewhat related topic the first written instance of the phrase "skinny dipping" wasn't until 1966. I found this tidbit interesting,I would have guessed it would have been used much earlier.

Oregonization

I am back from my break,no saner for my efforts,but back none the less. Let me relate some of the reasons for this lack of sanity.
Have you ever noticed how at the security stations at the airport,that regardless of how long the lines are they only seem to have two stations open? That would be acceptable if the idea was to keep the expenses of the operation down and aggravate the passengers but there are always several TSA agents that seem to be in charge of milling around. It is entirely possible that I am missing the purpose of these extra agents,but I would still rather see additional lines opened than feel overly secure due to the milling factor,but that would speed things up and cause less stress so therefore should be avoided at any cost. Another mystery to me is why is it that someone that got a 10% senior discount at the kennel when she picked up her cats would be singled out for special scrutiny time after time. This time on the departing flight I was pulled out and frisked because I had a Kleenex in my pocket,not realizing that the new equipment would detect a piece of paper I hadn't bothered to remove it. Let's just stop and consider this

for a moment...they have changed the rules so you can bring certain knives on board but a seemingly harmless woman is under suspicion of terror by Kleenex?? But wait there's more!! When going through security on the return trip I was again pulled aside and frisked (nothing at all in the pockets this time) then they went through my wallet because they thought I had more than the usual amount of coins...I wish I had been aware that there would be a scene over coins I would have given them away or checked what the proper number of coins to carry was. Even this doesn't end the flight portion of the story, while waiting to board the return flight an agent got on the intercom to announce that boarding would be delayed 10-15 minutes because they had forgotten to load the meal onto the plane!?
I really shouldn't complain about the trials of travel since many people have neither the time nor money to travel at all,but I can't help recalling the past before the restrictions were in place and changed on a daily basis so you had no idea what kind of hoops you would be called on to jump through to prove that you aren't part of a terrorist cell formed to what? Terrorize gerontophobs?

Dressing a Hermit

Before I forget and publish this post without telling you,I wanted to let all you regular readers know that I am taking a break and should be back in about a week. With any luck I will come back with fresh fodder enough to last another year!
When it came time for Harry the hermit crab to don the gay apparel,or in reality move into a larger shell,he ignored the regular offerings of shells discarded by other animals and instead moved into a Lego shell that his keepers at Legoland had made for him. I don't know about everyone else,but I can't help but wonder what he would chose if given a choice between a Lego home or a Lincoln Log home!...Maybe I should write to the folk there with that suggestion so they can have it designed for his next upgrade?

Hang Ups

I was thinking about gallows humor,which I have in spades,and was wondering if anyone ever died of it? The name basically implies a certain risk. I didn't find out about anyone that died because of it but there are some humorous (at least to me!) last words.
Just as I had always assumed,gallows humor is a reaction to stressful,traumatic or life threatening situations. Freud's theory about gallows humor was the ego refuses to be distressed by reality,so instead it insists by way of humor,that it is not affected. Gallows humor also helps the morale of the oppressed.
Now a few last word quotes. A murderer was heard to say at his execution as he looked at the trapdoor on the gallows "Are you sure it's safe?" In another case of a murderer named James French,his last words before death by electric chair,"How's this for a headline? 'French Fries'."
Did anyone catch my bad pun from the title in relation to the subject?

Real Life Newman?

I think I have the right show,but if I don't it doesn't really matter as it isn't essential to the story. What I am referring to is an episode of Seinfeld where Newman,or maybe he spells it Neuman? (the postal worker) has been dumping all the mail from his route in a storage unit instead of delivering it. A German postal worker was accused by his fellow workers of throwing the mail away,because he finished his route more quickly. As it progressed into a court hearing he had worked out a quicker more efficient way to do his route. His immediate supervisor knew in part about his time saving methods and admitted they were logical,but were not within the accepted rules,so she had informally tolerated them. The court case was dismissed,and it isn't known whether he would have to conform to the less efficient way of working.
Stop me if I'm wrong,but maybe if the post office (in the US at least) would take a more efficient approach to their delivery service they wouldn't be in financial straits. Okay,off the soap box for the day!

May Day!

Have you ever wondered what the 1st of May and the distress signal "May Day" have in common? May is Get Caught Reading Month,so lets flip our calendars and get started!
5/1 Lei Day
5/2 National Day of Reason
5/3 Hug Your Cat Day (not all cats enjoy this holiday)
5/4 International Respect for Chickens Day
5/5 World Laughter Day
5/6 Buddha Day
5/7 National Teacher Day
5/8 No Socks Day
5/9 School Nurse Day
5/10 Windmill Day
5/11 Eat What You Want Day (I celebrate this every day)
5/12 Limerick Day
5/13 Frog Jumping Day
5/14 National Chicken Dance Day
5/15 National Chocolate Chip Day
5/16 National Sea Monkey Day
5/17 National Pizza Party Day
5/18 I Love Reeses Day
5/19 Neighbor Day
5/20 Eliza Doolittle Day
5/21 National Wait Staff Day ( give an extra big tip!)
5/22 Canadian Immigrants Day
5/23 World Turtle Day
5/24 International Tiara Day (Wear yours Jane!)
5/25 Cookie Monster's Birthday
5/26 Indianapolis 500
5/27 Cellophane Tape Day
5/28 Slugs Return from Capistrano Day
5/29 Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day
5/30 Loomis Day
5/31 What You Think Upon Grows Day