Drunk as a Pig

Apparently drunk as a pig must be a regional saying because when I tried to find out where the saying came from drunk as a skunk was listed but no pig. Before I digress completely I will get on with today's subject. Feral pigs are a problem in Australia for several reasons but one pig in particular became a problem for campers when he munched his way through 18 cans of beer,got drunk,rooted around in the garbage for a snack,then picked a fight with a cow. The pig then passed out under a tree but was gone when the police arrived to capture it. One last thing on pigs...the phrase sweating like a pig makes no sense at all since pigs don't sweat!

Farting Around

Everyone farts no matter what they may want may tell you and it's a good thing as flatulence is healthful for many reasons. In small doses hydrogen sulfide is found to reduce risks of cancer,stroke,heart disease,arthritis and dementia so go ahead and enjoy your gas,okay,maybe enjoy is a bad choice of words. The good bacteria in your digestive system gets nutrients from some of the foods most likely to give you gas,and lastly don't try to hold it in too long as it can cause problems both with your comfort and you colon,so let 'er rip!

Wash Your Mouth Out

No I'm not referring to the dip shit in chief's latest social gaff,in fact I'm so embarrassed to think he is the leader of our once great country that I try to avoid mentioning him at all. What I am talking about is the crazy "Tide Pod Challenge" which involves teenagers eating the detergent pods and filming it. Though Tide is the favored pod other brands are being ingested as well. Of course warnings have been issued both by medical professionals and Tide but the teens say it is hard to resist the bright colors and squishy texture. Seriously? There is no way they taste pleasant and never mind they can make a person quite sick. As an age group we did some crazy things as teens but nothing that compares with this. Oh,and if Tide is so concerned why don't they pull them from the market? It's not likely to kill anyone to pour or even scoop detergent to was their clothes,though the pods could possibly kill a teen seeking attention.

Attention Spider Haters!

I don't really understand why people hate spiders, not only are they an important part of nature they are rarely in attack mode and even the venomous ones seldom cause problems. With that said and fully knowing that the spider haters will still insist on killing the eight legged innocents do be careful with your methods. A man in Seattle,WA burned down his house when he went after an arachnid with a can of spray paint and a lighter. I'm sure many of you are thinking that was an isolated incident,but it was not. There are cases every year in many states of fires starting from trying to burn a spider and the bad news for the spider haters is the spiders have a better chance of making it out alive than you do!
 

This is the actual home in Seattle

That's a Plus?

People have insisted for as long as I remember that Coke has a secret ingredient that makes it addicting which may still be fallout from when it contained cocaine,though today any addiction is most likely from the caffeine. Unless you happen to be in Japan where Coke claims the new Coke Plus is a health drink and the secret ingredient is a laxative. The beverage contains 5 grams dextrin per 16 oz sugar free, calorie free bottle. The company's commercial launch read as follows: "Consuming one Coca-Cola Plus per day with meals will assist in suppressing fat absorption and the triglycerides in the blood". They go on to warn that consuming an excessive amount may lead to "unfastened bowels".

Ancient Tradition?

The Portuguese village of Vale do Salguerio recently celebrated the Epiphany Festival with a procession,wine and giving children cigarettes. Children as young as five are encouraged to light up even though no one recalls what the tradition means. The parents hand out the smokes to their children with a mixture of pride and excitement and claim they don't see any harm in the practice since it is only done for the festival though the children may smoke up to 3 packs during that time. Since the village is in a remote area it has held on to ideas longer than people in urban areas. Personally I can't figure out what encouraging children to smoke has to do with Christ and for that matter did people even smoke in the time of Christ?

Call For Help

I usually try to not have back to back posts about the same subjects but today is one of the exceptions. A Florida (yes FL again) man called 911 to report himself drunk driving. The dispatcher had to keep him talking until sheriffs were able to locate him. She asked what he had been doing ,"I don't know,driving around trying to get pulled over actually." He later said,"I'm driving on the wrong side of the road",the dispatcher urged him to park which he finally did in the middle of the road. When he was arrested he admitted to drinking beer and swallowing methamphetamine and not sleeping for days. The police were happy no one had been injured and acknowledged that DUI is a serious offense but they couldn't help LOTO (laughing our tasers off). Hopefully the man will get help.