Nice Try

I'm not sure how I missed this as National Puppy Day was nearly a month ago but better late than never. The Republican National Committee intended to cash in on the holiday by offering a "Make America Great Again" leash. Claiming to make your walks great again the MAGA item didn't fair too well with pet owners. Here's what a few had to say:
You've abused enough of us, our standing, our prestige, our environment, way too many women; please don't also abuse the animals.
My dogs are too smart to be a member of GOP The dogs believe in Science, Climate Change, Female Reproductions Rights and don’t like Trump because he never had a dog They are Democrats. They know about Russia and Trump’s Treason
NEVER. NEVER will my pup EVER be subjected to any abuse like that. NEVER
My dog is smarter than most Republicans in Congress.
The perfect accessory for @SpeakerRyan and @DevinNunes.

Double Distraction

Distracted driving seems to have taken on a life of its own and as laws are passed prohibiting one distraction another distraction is waiting in the wings to take the next opening. I feel compelled to say that no one is so important that they need to be on the phone while they're driving,there was a saying before phone message recorders or cell phones that if it was important they would call back,the same holds true today. But I digress as this distraction is not about phones,it is about a couple on a Taiwan highway having sex at 40 mph,seriously NOTHING is as important as the task at hand when you are behind the wheel. The only fortunate thing about this particular debauchery was the passenger in the other car filmed the couple rather than the driver. If the couple had been stopped they would have only faced a fine of between $814 and $952 depending on which currency you calculated with,I figured it would be the same amount but there was a difference between British pounds and TWD,no idea why that would be.

Oh Crap!

Talk about a crappy deal,a small town in Alabama (Parrish) got stuck with a train load of sewage from New York for two months. I had no idea that New York exported their crap to the south for disposal in landfills,it just seems wrong on so many levels. One article said it was partially treated sewage but that failed to stop or lessen the stench of 10 million pounds in the 400 containers that were stranded due to the town near the receiving landfill (Adamsville) getting an injunction to stop the transfer of the waste from the train to trucks. The trucks eventually came to offload the waste matter and haul it the rest of the way. As you might guess the town still has a lingering smell which has canceled many outdoor activities and  air conditioners couldn't run without bring the smell into the homes. 

$$ to Sense

Time for some quotes about everybody's favorite? subject:
"Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million." Arnold Schwarzenegger
 "All I want is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy." Spike Milligan
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned,to buy things they don't want,to impress people they don't like." Will Rogers
"I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty." Groucho Marx
"I never had a penny to my name. So I changed my name." Henny Youngman
"Money can't buy friends,but you can get a better class of enemy." Spike Milligan
"I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money." Pablo Picasso

Going For the Gold

What would your event be if you could choose your own Olympic event? Here are a few suggested events should they ever decide to broaden the scope to include lesser known talents:
Drinking coffee
Tweeting
Sex
Eating Pizza
Making an awesome drink
Ice golf
Running from your responsibilities
Beer pong
I would excel and possibly win if sarcasm were an Olympic event.

Clever Disguise

Maybe it's just me but it seems like criminals are  not really  up to the challenges facing their chosen profession,for instance a burglar in a Georgia Gamestop used the clear plastic wrap from a case of bottled water in an attempt to mask his identity. Seriously,why bother at all if you can't do any better than clear plastic. Of course Georgia is a close neighbor of Florida so that should be considered. Panhandlers often leave me scratching my head as well when they think they are going to get the big bucks if they carry a gas can asking for gas money,I will happily fill the gas can for them and will always buy a meal for someone in need but I'm not a sucker. Oh,and also if a panhandler is a smoker they should treat that habit like they were at a real job and not smoke until a break time as people figure if they can afford cigarettes they probably don't need spare change.

https://www.facebook.com/stmaryspdga/videos/2264295090263880/?t=51
This is a link of the video of the burglar,it may or may not work I can't tell until after it is posted. 

Neither,Nor

I have neither interest in becoming a nude house cleaner nor employing one,however The Naturist Cleaners are a fast growing business in the UK with 300 employees. I don't know how or who conceived the idea of nude cleaning but the pay is pretty impressive,starting at $43 an hour to $64.50. If none of that strikes you as odd then maybe the fact that most people using the service request a certain body type and it's not what one would think,it's women of an experienced age and fuller figure that are most in demand. Out of the 300 cleaners working for the company they  have both sexes and many body types available. I do hope they aren't using caustic cleaning agents,that would raise the risk factor considerably.