Bananas and the Golden Toilet

The regular/long term readers among you might recall a post about an artist who made a golden toilet which was on exhibit (as a toilet) at the Guggenheim. Though I didn't know it at the time it was meant as a dig on trump as specified by the curator at the museum who says trump is synonymous with golden toilets. Fast forward to earlier this week...the same artist sold a piece named "The Comedian" at a gallery in Florida for $120,000 and a second edition of the same piece is expected to sell for $150,000,the catch is the artwork consists of a banana duct taped to the wall. Assuming it is a real banana it wouldn't be a long lived art piece and would also draw fruit flies,but hey the guy has a market!

Darkmas

Several countries around the world have a more sinister take on Christmas than the old coal in the stocking threat. Today's post will include two creepy Christmas characters from Iceland. Gryla is a monstrous ogress who comes down from the mountains along with her 13 children to kidnap,cook and feast on naughty children. But wait,there's more! If you don't get new clothes for Christmas Gryla's pet the monstrous yule cat towers over houses to check and eats those not fortunate enough to receive new clothes. It is thought that the cat was invented by farmers in the 19th century to encourage workers to finish the fall wool before Christmas...quite the incentive!

Demented Dave

The saying "use it or loose it" is not true in all cases,for instance Dave the duck overused his penis and lost it due to the overuse. Dave was mating with his female companions,Dora,Edith and Freda up to 10 times a day even during the winter months when the females no longer lay eggs. As a result of the overuse his penis prolapsed and no longer went back inside when he was finished. A duck's penis isn't meant to be out in the open where it can be stepped on,pecked or otherwise harmed so Dave's dick became infected so badly that it couldn't be cured with antibiotics and had to be amputated. Though he can no longer breed and only has a centimeter of his former pride and joy he still manages to go through the motions. Dave is one determined duck!

Food Follies

Just when a person thinks every edible food combination has been tried someone gets creative which leads to even more variety. Some of the combos I'm going to list sound pretty good while others I would be hesitant to try. In Columbia it has long been a tradition to put a chunk of cheese into hot chocolate. Speaking of chocolate, avocado and chocolate whipped together like a mousse is supposed to be fabulous. Cheetos and milk eaten like cereal. Peanut butter on your hamburger. Peanut butter cooked into onions. If you happen to have red wine that has gone bad the fix is adding Coke and serving over ice.

Competition Over!

In a neighborhood outside of Adelaide, Australia one house was lit up in an extravagant display but their neighbor was having nothing to do with a Christmas lights competition so he simply spelled out ditto in lights and made an arrow pointing to the neighbors display,party over! Nothing to see here! Since I'm a complete Scrooge about Christmas in general this is a nearly perfect response to the garish lighting displays seen at this time of year.

Black Hole Sun...

The possible titles for today's post are nearly endless and that's just using song titles that seem fitting. A California woman claims the key to good health is literally having the sun shine where the sun don't shine! This little known practice is called perineum sunning and it is not done to tan your rectum. The woman claims the five minutes she devotes to the special sunning every morning has energized her so much she no longer needs coffee and she sleeps better at night. Doctors who weighed in on the practice did not recommend it and said if there is any benefit to be found it would be in the yoga like meditation while she is sunning her butt hole. I can't help but wonder if she is from Florida.

Not My Favorite

Back just in time for your monthly planner,I hope everyone enjoys the month as December is not my favorite month.
12/1 Rosa Parks Day
12/2 National Mutt Day
12/3 Giving Tuesday
12/4 National Cookie Day
12/5 World Soil Day
12/6 Mitten Tree Day
12/7 National Rhubarb Vodka Day
12/8 World Pear Day
12/9 Cremation Day
12/10 International Animal Rights Day
12/11 Kaleidoscope Day
12/12 National Ding-a-Ling Day
12/13 National Day of the Horse
12/14 Monkey Day
12/15 Cat Herders Day
12/16 National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
12/17 Clean Air Day
12/18 International Migrants Day
12/19 National Re-gifting Day
12/20 Underdog Day
12/21 Humbug Day
12/22 Be a Lover of Silence Day
12/23 Family Roots Day
12/24 Eggnog Day
12/25 A'Phabet Day or No "L" Day
12/26 National Whiner's Day
12/27 Free Balloon Day
12/28 Short Film Day
12/29 Tick Tock Day
12/30 Bacon Day
12/31 World Peace Meditation Day