Dog Gone

I was irate when I heard dogs were getting "tramp stamp" tattoos,I couldn't imagine any dog lover putting their beloved pet through the pain and discomfort for a decorative tattoo. In years past owners had ID numbers tattooed on their animals in case they were lost or stolen,but that procedure finally was replaced with microchips,a lot less pain and suffering for the pet. The real story behind the tramp stamps in question is not what I first imagined,instead it is amusing in a "what will people waste money on next?" kind of way. The temporary tats are actually glitter and non-toxic glue that take about 10 minutes to apply. The cost for the procedure is $100 and will last a month or until the first bath,whichever comes first. I doubt if they would be cost effective in a rainy climate unless your dog was either always under shelter or wore a wrap when out for a walk.

The new computer is up and running...I am far from in love with it and there are still several issues to work out,but who knows? I may grow fond of it in due time.
  

Another Cowboy?

I'm not sure if this should go into the stupid criminal file,or if a new file should be opened to include nude crimes. A man was arrested in Georgia after stealing a car,burglarizing two homes (in one of the homes he drank a beer,made himself a meal and watched baseball) and at some point taking off his clothes except for a cowboy hat. At a third home he tried to steal a motorcycle but wasn't successful so instead he entered the kitchen of the home through the open garage. A girl in the home screamed bringing her mother downstairs where she saw the man running off and called 911. The man was charged with two counts of burglary,criminal trespass and impersonating a police officer...either part of this story is missing or the police uniform in Georgia is a cowboy hat and nothing else?
My new computer just arrived and with any luck it will be a smooth transition from the old to the new,but if not cut me a few days slack just in case!

A New Month

May is National Humor Month,National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month,and Alcohol Awareness Month.
5/1 Boomer Bonus Day
5/2 National Walking Day
5/3 World Party Day (goes along with being aware of alcohol)
5/4 Vitamin C Day
5/5 International Pillow Fight Day
5/6 New Beers Eve
5/7 No Housework Day
5/8 Draw a Bird Day
5/9 National Cherish an Antique Day ( I think this applies to people as well)
5/10 National Farm Animals Day
5/11 International "Louie Louie" Day
5/12 Walk on Your Wild Side Day
5/13 Scrabble Day
5/14 Dictionary Day
5/15 That Sucks Day
5/16 Save the Elephant Day
5/17 Ford Mustang Day
5/18 National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day
5/19 National Garlic Day
5/20 Plum Pudding Day
5/21 National Surprise Drug Test Day (wait a minute...it isn't drug awareness month?)
5/22 National Jelly Bean Day
5/23 English Language Day
5/24 Take Our Daughters & Sons To Work Day
5/25 World Penguin Day
5/26 World Healing Day
5/27 Morse Code Day
5/28 Workers Memorial Day
5/29 Zipper Day
5/30 Bugs Bunny Day
April Fools!! All the above dates are actually in April in case you hadn't guessed...How many of you thought I had slipped a cog?

Clockwatchers Rejoice!

This is definitely a timepiece that bears watching,the Life Expectancy Timepiece determines how many ticks are left on your personal watch,and not the one you wear on your wrist. The timepiece combines different health factors and actuarial tables to predict the approximate time remaining in the user's life. When a person is going to die is a question that nags at the back of most peoples minds,but do they really want to know? I have a few questions about this device...Does it know when the batteries go dead that doesn't include the wearer? not to mention does it include an alarm to signal your last few days so you don't spend them doing something you dislike? can curiosity eventually kill you? Another item I can live without!

Sleep Diet

Which would you guess burns more calories,watching TV or sleeping? Believe it or not there is very little difference. A 160 pound person burns 69 calories an hour while sleeping,watching TV burns around 70 calories. A person will burn more calories sleeping if their body is cooler,so strip off those warm pajamas and heavy blankets and let your natural body heat do the work. One would also think that sleeping less and exercising instead of sleeping would work in your favor,but when your body gets less than 7 hours of sleep hormones that increase your appetite kick into high gear so not only are you likely to eat more you will also crave high calorie foods. Eating when you would normally be sleeping is another way to gain weight,the estimated weight gain from eating the same foods during your sleeping hours as compared with your waking hours is 48%! I thought this was all interesting stuff,though it never mentioned if watching action TV shows comedies,or other types of programs which tend to elevate respiration levels would burn more calories. Seems like a reasonable assumption to me.

Not Exactly Nike!

Though similar sounding to Nike's "Just Do It" slogan,Denmark's "Do It For Denmark" is about a victory of a different kind. Denmark is concerned over their lowest birthrate in decades and is worried that the elderly of the future will not receive proper care with a lower populated future workforce. Their solution? send couples on "procreation vacations". The belief is that Danes have 46% more sex on vacation and if that is not enough incentive a travel agency is sweetening the deal with 3 years supply of diapers (proof that the child was conceived on vacation is required). Silly me,I thought overpopulation was a problem!

Anti-War Camp

Sound too good to be true? It probably is,but my idea was to send world leaders to Drive A Tank adventure park in hope of venting their aggressiveness in a harmless setting. The park is located 70 miles southwest of Minneapolis,Minnesota and features several demilitarized vehicles,including a 60 ton Chieftain tank with a 22 foot barrel. Visitors to the 20 acre park are given a history of the vehicles and a course on safety,then they can choose from various packages. Once a package has been selected they drive a wooded obstacle course and can elect to smash a salvage vehicle. There is also an arsenal of machine guns for the gun enthusiast. If we could corral the world leaders at Drive A Tank they could have some hands on war games without endangering the rest of the world...in fact maybe we could use our tax dollars to keep them contained there rather than unleashing them on the real world!