It occurred to me while showering this morning that I hadn't done any shower thoughts for quite some time,so without further ado...
Lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you're criminal, mechanics hope you have car trouble, but only a thief wishes prosperity for you.
"Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning" is the human version of "Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?"
Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume
Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
What if Earth is like one of those uncontacted tribes in South America, like the whole Galaxy knows we're here but they've agreed not to contact us until we figure it out for ourselves.
Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969.
When a company offers me a better price after I cancel their subscription, they're just admitting they were overcharging me.
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