Back?

Finally managed to finish mopping up after the debacle that I was left with after my time off. Apparently vehicles are no longer safe in Portland. I'd left my truck at the Fairfield Inn and thieves attempted to steal it. First they busted out the ignition with plans to start it with a screwdriver,not sure what stopped them but since the rig is a manual transmission and I had left it in reverse the tail lights were on which in turn caused an extremely dead battery so I had to call a tow truck to jump it since it was too dead for a regular jump and also too dead for the magic starter box tow trucks carry. After it was charged again the driver showed my how and where to stick my key to start it. Got it home with no issues,got the ignition replaced then I had to wait for a new antenna since the thieves were pissed that they had been thwarted and decided to break off the antenna for good measure.  Now for the other issue...I don't know if I will be making daily posts from now on as the amount of time needed for me to be sitting is playing hell with my back. My plan is to just see how well my back is doing on a day by day basis and take it from there. Thank you for your readership and understanding. 

Disgusting

 First before I forget I'll be taking the next week or more off and leaving you to your own devices,so good luck on your mission. Now for the matter at hand...it seems like this outfit raised my hackles in the past when they introduced heeled and platform Crocs. Seriously are they making fun of potential customers who are buying their goods? but wait,it gets worse,now they are hawking distressed sneakers that look like they've been through a dumpster fire and never mind the price tag,$1,850. If nothing else these so called distressed shoes are a slap in the face to the homeless population and if Balenciaga has any staff with compassion they would dedicate some of their undeserved profits from this outrage to shoes for the less fortunate. Okay,off the soap box and out of your hair for awhile,enjoy! 

 

Atlantis Found!?

Okay,probably not but the description of the recent find sounds a lot like the legend depicted Atlantis though it isn't in the area long thought to be where Atlantis vanished into the ocean which was supposedly somewhere around the Strait of Gibraltar/Mediterranean/Atlantic. This latest find is in the Pacific in a deep sea ridge north of the Hawaiian Islands but it's still fun to speculate plus considering what is known now about earthquakes and tsunamis Atlantis really could have existed. 

Double Take

I'm not sure this is an optical illusion it seems like there should be another name for this type of confusing perspective. With that said what looks like Kim Kardashian laying on the ground at a festival/concert isn't really what it seems. If you look more closely at the photo you'll see it is actually a man seated behind the woman in question and he has his left leg crossed on top of his right leg and is holding his left ankle with his left hand. It is hard to see once your mind says you are looking at a bare butt,but do give it a try. 

 

It's a Dog's Life

 The feminine Nala means queen and among many other definitions it also means successful which fits the following Nala perfectly. It was a dark and stormy night...well actually it was about 4 a.m. but it was stormy and that is possibly why Nala decided to slip out of her home and walk about 2 miles then take shelter from the scary thunder in a stranger's house,the bed to be specific. The woman of the house woke up thinking it was one of her three dogs cuddling with her only to discover an unknown dog. She decided to take a picture to post on Facebook to find the owners and they responded saying Nala was known for her Houdini like skills. She was later reunited with her family. 

Keep It In the Family

 Who knew that some cases of incest are the result of GSA,genetically sexual attraction,which usually happens when two family members are separated at birth then meet as adults. According to the shrinks who study things like GSA humans are conditioned to find people who look like them attractive and in the first few seconds of meeting someone determine if they are friend or foe and if they can help to reproduce our genes. Which kind of explains why this 26 year old man who sought his bio mother in 2013 found her attractive and shortly after left his wife to live with his mom/girlfriend who in turn wants to have his baby. I swear you can't make this stuff up! I know there was incest in the bible but there was a lot of icky stuff in the bible. 

Florida,Is That You?

 It appears the usual Florida weirdness has migrated north for the spring. Not usually known for much other than being the first state to see the sunrise every day,Maine has been busy with the weird lately. A drunken man was told to not return to a motel property after causing a disturbance,but return he did. When the police went to find him he was sitting in a chair, hiding under a blanket by a room near the parking lot. In Portland,Maine a 26 year old woman tried to make the police station a drive-thru but explained that her GPS told her where to turn,though the police strongly suspected alcohol was involved. 

Here Kitty,Kitty

 Imagine you're a farm worker in Kenya trained from a young age to call wildlife authorities to report rogue wildlife in otherwise urban settings. The officers arrive on the scene and cordon off the area to prevent injuries. Meanwhile the home owner arrives and is told about the lion in her hedge and that she needs to enter her home from the back which she does without much thought since even though there had been no recent lion sightings there had been livestock missing. Finally someone looked through a window where the body of the lion should have been but nothing was there so they took a closer look to discover it was a bag with a lion's head on it that the owner had stored in the hedge to keep the avocado seedlings moist until she could plant them. Now I found this humorous though everyone on the scene remained serious even after the threat was discovered to be a shopping bag,not sure what to think of that. 

Surprise Drunk

Most people think Amish are not allowed to drink alcohol though that isn't exactly true,they are allowed to consume a moderate amount once they become 21. So imagine my surprise when I accidentally ended up on a page featuring several instances of Amish men and teens being stopped for DUI when they were noticed erratically driving their buggies. One buggy even sported a stereo system but when the police attempted to stop the vehicle the men took off abandoning the horse and buggy. In the most recent stop the 20 year old man was slurring his words when police asked if he was okay after they had followed the buggy being driven so erratically as to cause sparks to fly from the tires. Another buggy sideswiped a car,yet another ejected 2 adults and 5 children. It sounds like they might need to revisit the definition of moderate. 

The Clock is Ticking

 With Mother's Day this weekend there isn't much time to shop. I'll try to help you out even though it's probably too late to get these gifts in time you could give mom a picture of the gift to be coming. 

Flower vase bong

Fart filtering underwear 

Donut Bouquet 

Union suits with trap doors,just right for hanging a moon 

Death Star planter

Non-mother message 

Who Wore It Better

 Actually this isn't a case of who wore it better,it's more of a case of who shouldn't have worn it at all. As many of you know I'm neither into fashion nor have any special knowledge about fashion though what I do know is an iconic part of our history should not allowed onto the body or anyone just because they have money. I'm talking about Kim Kardashian wearing the dress Marilyn Monroe has specially designed/crafted for her to wear to JFK's 45th birthday event. She even told the designer (Jean Louis) to  design a truly historical dress,one only Marilyn Monroe could wear,and now that creation has been besmirched by the likes of Kim Kardashian.  

Powered by Whiskey

 Normally drinking and driving don't go together though that may be changing. Producing whiskey and also craft beers produces a lot of waste products both solid and liquid. Until recently these wastes were ending up in rivers,oceans,landfills and over burdening city waste treatment plants but hopefully that problem is going to be solved. A biofuel researcher was looking for a cheap base when he stumbled on whiskey byproducts. So far it is looking good as unmodified vehicles have been running on 15% biobutanol. Glenfiddich has been using their own biogas that has dropped truck emissions by 90%. So as you can see drinking and driving actually do go together just not in the way you might think. 

Feeling Cheesy?

 May is American Cheese Month though American cheese remains a poor example of cheese. 

5/1 World Laughter Day 

5/2 World Tuna Day 

5/3 Paranormal Day 

5/4 International Firefighters Day 

5/5 Cartoonists Day 

5/6 Nurses Day 

5/7 Mother Ocean Day 

5/8 No Socks Day 

5/9 Alphabet Magnet Day 

5/10 Hostess Cupcake Day 

5/11 Eat What You Want Day 

5/12 Limerick Day 

5/13 Frog Jumping Day 

5/14 Do Dah Day 

5/15 National Chocolate Chip Day 

5/16 National BBQ Day 

5/17 Same Sex Marriage Day 

5/18 I Love Reese's Day 

5/19 National Scooter Day 

5/20 World Bee Day 

5/21 Armed Forces Day 

5/22 National Maritime Day 

5/23 World Turtle Day 

5/24 Brother's Day 

5/25 Towel Day 

5/26 National Paper Airplane Day 

5/27 Heat Awareness Day 

5/28 National Hamburger Day 

5/29 National Alligator Day 

5/30 Mint Julep Day 

5/31 National Smile Day 

Have a wonderful month!