Lord of the Ring

I just wanted to finish off the year with a funny note. It all happened in Russia in 2005 so it is nearly ancient history by now,but as the story goes Robert Kraft (Patriots owner) was with a business delegation when he took out his Super Bowl ring to show to President Putin. Putin put the ring on and commented "I can kill someone with this ring",when Kraft put his hand out for the ring Putin put his hand in his pocket and his three KGB men gathered around him and walked him out. As far as I'm concerned tough luck for Kraft! Why did he bring the ring (valued at $25,000) in the first place? I really can't think of a valid reason unless he was wearing it which he wasn't. Once the story came out Putin denied knowledge of the whole incident and offered to have a custom ring made for Kraft. Kraft claimed the US asked him not make an issue of it and harm relations with Russia and to just say it was given to Putin as a gift.
Time to say Happy New Year to my readers and to hope the past year was good for you and the coming year will be even better!

Jack of all Trades?

This is one of the hardest to understand stories I've come across in some time. Rick Van Thiel was producing porn in East Las Vegas until he went to prison on a battery charge in 2007. His equipment was stolen while he was locked up so he decided to go into the medical field,and just like that he opens up a practice,no license,no medical degree. He told an interviewer he had learned about medicine watching You Tube videos and of course knew anatomy for his years in the porn business. Apparently he was getting patients from an ad on Craig's list along with black market steroids and other drugs that were found in the trailer that served as his office. He is accused of causing the deaths of  three people and sexually assaulting a woman who came in for an abortion. Of course he is in jail now awaiting trial on those and other charges,but what the hell were those people who went to him thinking? It is speculated that they couldn't afford mainstream medical care,but wouldn't they have been better off without his care,and never mind that he was obviously charging them something for his "services". I don't know,this one leaves me scratching my head.

Bite Me

Normally I would file this under another case of worthless research but since it is still the holiday season I decided it might be noteworthy,plus it is a yearly survey conducted by Dunkin' Donuts so at least it isn't tax dollars being spent. They claim the study of how you eat a gingerbread man reveals aspects of your personality. 64% of the people surveyed ate the head first meaning you're a natural leader. 20% go for the legs revealing that they are sensitive. The remaining 16% are the arm eaters,if you bite the right arm off first you're a pessimist,if you go for the left arm you're the creative type. It has been a long time since I have eaten a gingerbread man,but if memory serves I think the arms went first,but I have no idea if I favored on side over another,of course I also have memories of starting on other parts and not having a consistent starting point...I guess that means I'm schizophrenic!

Trigger Man

This may be in poor taste with all the brouhaha over guns and shootings,but I've never been accused of having good taste,with that said,on with today's post. In October of this year a 25 year old woman was duck hunting with her dog. For some reason she laid the gun down without the safety on and Trigger (dog's name) stepped on the shotgun causing it to discharge into his owner's foot.  Another hunter commented it was mostly human error (no kidding?) and suggested hunter safety courses for both owner and dog,and perhaps a different name for the dog. The woman was treated and released and is expected to fully recover.

Peace at Last?

The last month has literally had one of my cats pulling her hair out. Even though she has been treated with a topical treatment every month and doesn't go outside she still got fleas and an allergy to go with them. Since a single flea can bite 400 times a day it is easy to relate to her discomfort,but I was at a loss for what to do for her as I didn't want to OD her by doing the monthly treatment too soon. I decided to call a groomer about bathing thinking if nothing else it should sooth her skin but a date wasn't available until the end of January...back to the drawing board. Good old Petco to the rescue! They recommended Capstar tablets along with the 8 month Seresto collar and she is finally experiencing relief! Of course I will be paying the price for giving her the pill,but the lack of her affection for a few days is well worth it in the long run. Now if only I didn't jinx the success by mentioning it too soon!

Notice her glare and the bald spot!

Tax Dollars at Work

Keep in mind while reading today's post how our veterans,the ones risking life and limb for our country,not the top dogs but your regular enlisted guys, often end up homeless or going without proper care and you will be ready to go to war with the Department of Defense when you finish reading this. Not only is the DOD known for overspending on things like toilet seats and hammers they also have been using corporate credit cards for gambling,strippers,adult entertainment and "personal" charges. In one year the total for 20 million transactions was $3.4 billion. Not only that but there is no prohibition for those expenses. The DOD spokes person merely qualified the expenses as peanuts compared to the amount spent on parts for helicopters that hadn't flown since the 70s.

In Other Words

Partly as a follow up on my comments about political correctness running amok I did a little research about the subject. The term "politically correct" was coined in the US in the 1980s by the rights to describe the liberals,not that where it comes from makes it less of an issue. The bottom line (to me) is that it seems like an Orwellian attempt to control peoples thoughts. I realize it is presented as a kinder way to refer to things that might be offensive,but generally people will think the same as they always have regardless of how much control they have of their speech. With that said I wanted to present some lesser known ways to say Merry Christmas.

Afrikaans: Geseende Kersfees
Greek: Kala Christouyenna
Icelandic: Gledileg Jol
Hindi: Bada Din Mubarak Ho
Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia
Welsh: Nadolig Llawen

Where ever you are and however you say it Merry Christmas to you all!

Icon Irony

While preparing for yesterday's post I came across several other renditions of the Nativity. I found most of them wildly creative considering the mediums that were employed. If anyone is offended by these then don't look at them! I am not going to apologize or make excuses for what I believe people made in the right spirit,not to mention that people are too willing to take offense over the smallest things in these politically correct times,so if you are feeling overly sensitive do yourself a favor and read no further.

Cupcake Nativity 

Spam Nativity

Shotgun Shell Nativity 

Frankenstein Nativity 

Meat Nativity

Night of the Radishes

This evening is Night of the Radishes as celebrated in Mexico. The custom was established in Colonial days and became a formal annual event and competition in 1897. The wood carvers begin carving large radishes to attract the customers attention at the Christmas market held on the 23rd and has grown in size and popularity since that time. The nativity scene is a common theme of the carvings. The radish is native to  China and was introduced to Mexico by the Spanish.

Doomed!

We are living in scary times when the future leaders of this country's military are not even able to hold a traditional pillow fight without screwing it up. This last summer at West Point the first year students organized the annual pillow fight as was the common practice but from there on things went awry. Thirty people were injured before all was said and done,some had broken noses,others concussions and various other injures. There were reports of hard objects in pillow cases but most injures were from elbows and being knocked down. Reports said the upper class-men didn't show proper leadership by taking control of the situation. The pillow fight is officially banned for future classes.

Another Reason To Not Burn Trash

With only today's post as ammunition Missouri is now in competition with Florida for the state most likely to make headlines for stupid stuff. Before I get started I want to add my two cents worth that burning garbage isn't a good idea anyway as most of it is recyclable and what isn't releases chemical waste into the atmosphere that no one wants to have there,so please dispose of your trash properly.
A Missouri man was burning trash in a field when the fire got out of control. He decided to get in his van and drive over the fire to extinguish it,apparently he forgot that he had a full tank of gas,several boxes of ammunition and that tires are also flammable.  The story didn't mention if he was drunk or high but since he wasn't arrested by the sheriff who responded I am guessing it was a case of stupidity. Did I mention the van was a total loss?

The Good Guys

Back in the days of black and white TV the good guys in the westerns wore white hats. Fast forward to the present day and the white hat still has the same meaning,but it now refers to computer hackers who work to hack security systems to find faults before the black hat hackers find them first. One example was shown at a hackers show in Las Vegas. A white hat hacker with nothing more than a laptop hacked into two ATM machines he had purchased on e-Bay and had them spewing money out on the stage,he dubbed the hack "jackpotting". This also applies to some medical devices,like computerized insulin delivery systems and pacemakers. Former Vice-President Cheney had the wireless capabilities disabled on his pacemaker to prevent assassination attempts. It is comforting to know there are still some people working for the good guys.

Warning!

Today we are going to explore the world of ridiculous warning labels,in my opinion most of these should not have to be included with a product as they are obvious to all but the dimmest of bulbs. Not to mention that if these people are going to overlook the obvious,what are the chances they will read a warning label?
Coat hangers are not food,do not swallow.
Coffee is hot,avoid pouring on crotch area.
Remove child from clothing before washing.
Zipper may harm penis,zip with caution.
On a bag of peanuts: Do not eat if you have peanut allergy.
I know there are people out there just looking for a reason to sue large companies,but will these warnings be enough to deter those actions?

Mirror Trick

The people of these two towns should get some kind of award for their ingenuity,never mind the energy they are no doubt saving by harnessing nature instead of using power. I'm talking about the town of Viganella in the Italian Alps and Rjukan a town situated in a valley in Norway. Both towns suffered a lack of light because of their locations so they erected mirrors that are rotated by computers so that they reflect the natural daylight into the normally dark valleys. If only they could apply their genius to a way to light the darkness of the winter months here, I would personally see to it that they received their just reward! Oh well,back to the drawing board.

Natural Sex Change

Today's post is one of the oddest things I've ever heard about and trust me there is plenty of weirdness out there. In a remote village in the Dominican Republic (it has also been observed in Turkey and New Guinea) a little over 1% of the female babies born turn into males when they reach puberty. When they are born they are lacking testes and have what appears to be a vagina,but as they near puberty the testicles descend and a penis grows. The condition is caused by a deficiency of an enzyme that normally causes the body to produce male hormones. Once puberty begins it triggers increased levels of testosterone,changing the previously female body into a male. Once they change from female to male they live their lives as men with the only difference being less facial hair and smaller overall size. The discovery has been helpful in treating enlarged prostate and male pattern baldness.

This young man was born a girl but turned into a boy at age 7.

Cultural Clash

First I want to make it clear that I do not support any sport that involves injuring animals but such sports are part of different cultures,in Hawaii it is cock fighting,in Spain bullfighting and in other countries other cruelties are inflicted as their culture allows. Yesterday's post was a demerit for a PETA action where as today's post is an atta boy for a PETA member. A 41 (she sure doesn't look 41!) year old Swedish porn star was attending a bullfight in Spain when she was overcome with emotion after witnessing the murder of an animal that clearly didn't want to die,so she climbed two barriers to get into the ring with the intention of comforting the dying bull. The matador's assistants intercepted her and dragged her out of the ring,but she is petitioning the Prime Minister of Spain in an effort to end the cruelty. The moral of the story is some PETA intentions are honorable.

Selfie Suit

No,not an outfit a person wears while taking a selfie! A macaque monkey who took a selfie with a camera a photographer had set up to take pictures of the monkeys is now being represented by PETA in a suit over copyright rights. PETA claims that the law does not specify species but clearly states the copyright is not property of the camera owner but belongs to whoever took the photo. It seems equally clear to me that PETA is spending way to much time (and probably money) on something that is in no way beneficial to the animal in question (the monkey's name is Naruto)or animals in general. It appears to be nothing short of a plea for headlines and not the kind of press animal lovers will be impressed with. Shame on them.

Walmart/Weird

Is it just me or do Walmart stores seem to attract an odd crowd? They are like the Florida of discount stores in the weirdness that happens there. Today's offering is a combination of two reoccurring themes,stupid crimes and packaging that is impossible to open. A 46 year old man had taken a cell phone from the shelf and went into the automotive section to attempt to get it out of the packaging using a knife. He stabbed himself in the arm and began bleeding profusely,he started making his way to the exit leaving a trail of blood and attracting the attention of employees,so he grabbed a towel to make good his escape. He drove himself to the hospital but the injury was so severe he had to be flown to another facility. Police met him at the hospital and charged him with retail theft and disorderly conduct. All for a cell phone that hadn't even been activated.

Sunday Smiles

I thought I would share some Christmas quotes today in honor of the upcoming holiday. Enjoy!

"Here's a money saving tip  for Christmas: Glue a jujube on a brick and mail it out as a fruitcake."
Julie Brown
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
Phyllis Diller
"Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Every year,Christmas gets longer and longer and longer,and you don't care,do you? You just take more and more of the calendar for yourself. It's unbelievable. How long does it take you people to shop?! It's beyond belief. It's insane. When I was a kid,Halloween was Halloween,and Santa wasn't poking his ass into it!"
Lewis Black
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus,we'll be seeing six or seven."
W.C. Fields
"Once again,we come to the holiday season:a deeply religious time that each of us observes,in his own way,by going the the mall of his choice."
Dave Barry