Foiled Again

Earlier I thought I had the perfect topic for today's post,a seamless segue from yesterday's guy carrying the alligator into the store. A juvenile shark was stolen from a petting tank in a Texas aquarium and spirited away in a baby stroller,then they featured it on the news at noon and it lost that esoteric value I was searching for. Oh well,that's what plan B is for.
Lay's Tastes of America potato chips collection is out and includes flavors from across the nation,Cajun Spice,Crab Spice,Chili Con Queso,Deep Dish Pizza,Fried Pickles with Ranch,New England Lobster Roll,Pimento Cheese,Thai Sweet Chili,West Coast Truffle Fries,Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Popper,Fried Green Tomatoes and Ketchup. Enough to keep those who like flavored chips busy for awhile. Personally I don't care for flavored chips,I prefer mine to taste like potatoes,I know,call me weird.

A Man Goes Into a Store

To the uninitiated it may seem like I'm obsessed with Florida,but it's actually the level of weird that keeps me going back to stories from that state. This time a man walked into a convenience store to buy beer,so far so good but wait it get's weird,he is carrying an alligator. He starts asking other customers if they are buying the last of the beer and then chases them around the store. When the police arrived he said it was just a prank and that he knew everyone in the store. The next day he claimed to have no memory of the incident and had no idea where he got the gator. It wasn't certain if any laws were broken so he remains free...not sure what happened to the gator.

Woolen Wardrobe

Today's post may leave some knitters/crocheters with an extreme case of euphoria. An Australian sheep farmer found one of his charges who had missed several years of shearing. The farmer dubbed the sheep Shriek 2 who is now 66 pounds lighter after giving up his wool,more than six times the average amount. The fleece was 13 inches long and surprisingly clean. As luck would have it wool prices are high this season which pleased the farmer and I'm sure the sheep was lighthearted as well! Poor animal carrying all that extra weight around.

It's a Sign

Today's post will be lacking my usual input as I feel another letter to the editor coming on and I need to silence that voice in order to hear the other voices! Instead of the regular fodder I am offering some amusing signs,mostly from restaurants. Enjoy.

Earning Your Stripes

Perhaps it was only a case of mistaken identity when a zoo in Cairo,Egypt tried to pass off two donkeys painted to look like zebras,though when visitors began questioning the exhibit's authenticity zoo officials denied  counterfeiting the animals. One visitor took the pictures of the animals in question to a veterinarian who examined the photos and  agreed that the striping looked painted on as it seemed to be smudging. I also think the ears are a giveaway as you can judge for yourself from the following photos. This isn't the first time a zoo has substituted an animal,in 2013 a Chinese zoo substituted a Tibetan Mastiff (dog) for a lion who was away at a breeding facility.

Defending Your Dinner

A waterfront restaurant in Australia was having trouble with seagulls bothering the diners at the outdoor seating area and they came up with a clever way to deal with the problem. Each table comes with its own squirt gun which can be used to discourage the birds from trying to steal the food. Seagulls are notorious scavengers with little fear of people,probably because many people feed them which further enforces the bird's behavior. I don't think any of the local restaurants who have outdoor seating are bothered by gulls,I wonder if they have preventive measures in place as well?

Swordplay

Fair warning,today's post is another example of Florida craziness. A 47 year old man became angry because his socks were missing and after accusing two people in the house and telling them they'd be sorry he left. He returned a short while later brandishing a ninja sword which he swung at a 53 year old man and his ex girlfriend. The 53 year old man nearly lost fingers from the attack by trying to fend off the blows and the woman received a severe cut on her thigh. If he was this mad over socks can you imagine what would happen if his pants were missing? He was later arrested at a neighbors house.

Happiest Place on Earth

Actually Disneyland is far from their tagline,"The Happiest Place on Earth" and the long lines and high prices are only part of what's wrong about it,but once again,I digress. For anyone who has ever been around Golden Retrievers you are already aware of what happy dogs they are,they are even happy when they're stressed which occurs when they aren't with their families. With that thought in mind one can easily imagine the happiness factor multiplied by 361 when the Scottish Golden Retriever Club held an event to mark the 150th anniversary of the breed. In 2006 188 Goldens attended then in 2016 that number was up to 222. It must be overwhelming to be around all that happiness in one place!
 

Terrible Twos

Birthday parties for children used to be fairly simple affairs but as with most things kid's parties have become more of an occasion just short of a formal gathering. The cakes are no longer homemade and some are quite elaborate which makes today's post all the more amusing. This mom thought she was keeping things fairly plain when she ordered a pink cake with the word Two in blue lettering for the cake topper,so far so good but when she looked at the cake from the back she was in for a shock. The quick thinking mom thought to put the cake up against a wall so the guests wouldn't see it from the back side. You'll see what I mean from the photos below.

Selfie Awareness

On the surface this guy makes you want to groan because of his stupid mistake,though if a person stops to consider this Shreveport,Louisiana man more compassionately it gives a person pause because he apparently was new to cell phone usage. He must have known enough to want to take a selfie to share with someone but he didn't realize that his image would then be automatically uploaded into the phone owners cloud which was then turned over to investigators who shared the image with the public. Even if you feel bad for the guy that doesn't excuse the fact that he stole the cell phone and some cash at gun point.  It could be worse,he could have been in Florida.

Truer Words?

Time is short today due to a birthday party for a handsome 1 year old so I thought some quotes on kids would be appropriate.
Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born,and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
Ray Romano
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
Duke of Windsor
Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grownups,I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your children. Gets 'em ready for the real world.
George Carlin
My mother loved children. She would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
I adopted a baby. I wanted a highway,but it was a lot of red tape.
Margaret Smith

Black and White

I'm totally unclear on the concept of today's post since it's my understanding that tattoos, aka body art are decorative,so if you were an albino like this man from Russia one would think his skin would be the perfect canvas to decorate. Here's where I get confused,he had his entire body tattooed so he went from white to black,no designs at all,still if that was his wish so be it. He still wasn't happy even with his eyeballs tattooed black because he was only 90% covered and thought that interfered with his aesthetic enjoyment. His genitals and nipples were what was holding up the totality of his art piece, so he sought out a surgeon to remove them so he could complete his work. The show must go on!

No Swim Suits

The photographer cum designer behind "The Black Tape Project" should have stayed behind the camera as far as I'm concerned. Apparently he got the idea for his "fashions" when a model requested he wrap her in black electrical tape for a photo shoot. The part he fails to address in all the articles is that tape and water do not mix which renders his creations something quite different from "swimsuits". It would be a fun idea for kids to dress their dolls with tape,but not so much for adults.