Questionable Use

While I was out for a walk earlier I heard on the radio that Jim Koch (Boston Beer Company,Samuel Adams) has a secret for not getting drunk. I find this to be of dubious worth,since for the most part people drink to get a little buzzed,or relaxed not to stay sober, none the less I checked it out and even Snopes couldn't disprove Koch's method. Koch uses 1 teaspoon of dry yeast for every beer he is going to consume (not sure how this is accurately calculated) and mixes the yeast into yogurt to make it more palatable. He initially learned the secret from a biochemist friend of his. The way it works is yeast has an enzyme called ADH that breaks down alcohol,the same way your liver metabolizes it. It doesn't eliminate the effects completely,but lessens them a great deal. Who knew?

Bearly Legal

Actually I don't think there is a legal drinking age for wildlife,or animals for that matter,not that they normally need one. A black bear (around 2 years old) was found passed out at a Washington campground about 80 miles from Seattle. The bear had broke into coolers and used his teeth and claws to open 36 cans of beer. It appears the bear had a preference for a local brew (Rainier). He tried a Busch beer but stayed with Rainier for the balance of his binge. Wildlife agents chased the bear away but it returned the next day,so they set a humane trap baited with doughnuts,honey and two cans of Rainier. Too bad Hamms beer used a bear in their commercials,otherwise Rainier could have capitalized on this bears drinking preference.

Torture?

It has been several days since I read about the  Norwegian mass killer who killed 77 people (69 of them teenagers) in 2011,I needed that long to calm down. He is threatening a hunger strike if his conditions aren't improved. The following is a partial list of his demands: he wants his Playstation 2 replaced with a Playstation 3 and access to more video games,a doubling of his weekly allowance (about $49),an end to the almost daily body searches,a PC to replace the typewriter,more butter for his bread,skin moisturizer,more contact with the outside world,and various other "inhumane" treatments. His is quoted as saying "You have put me through hell,I won't be able to survive it much longer. You are killing me." Well excuse me! The man killed 77 people,but thinks he has it rough? We have all heard about country club prisons for white collar criminals,but this is ridiculous.

Half Stein

What is a Half Stein you ask? It is what I call a Holstein calf. Holsteins are interesting animals,they are very mellow,their color patterns (like fingerprints on people) are unique,they are the largest sized dairy breed,90% of the milk in the US comes from Holsteins and the average amount of milk produced each lactation period (around 305 days) is 2,674 gallons. Although the breed name sounds German (full name is Holstein Friesian) they were bred mainly in the Netherlands. Before we sold our dairy stock we had three Holsteins,the oldest one we called Sleepy,her daughter Cindy and Sally. They were all very sweet cows,unlike some of the other animals in the line-up. It must be the spring like weather that is making me reminisce about my childhood on the farm,but that is okay they are pleasant memories.

Rental Food

This is a really great idea and would be an excellent business to get into if you had the know how and area needed. I am talking about chicken rentals,I don't know if they are available on the West Coast at this time but they seem to be headed in this direction. Australia started renting chickens years ago and it has been catching on in the US since the latter part of the 2000s. The way it works is the various companies bring a coop,2 hens that are already laying,the food and a water dispenser and set it up at your location. The rental season (also the main egg laying season) is from May through November,then the chickens are picked up and kept over the winter,or if you become attached you can purchase your chickens. The price seems a little high to me ($250 for the season) but since it is organic feed it might not be that high,I am not sure on the feed prices. I borrowed a goat years ago to eat the blackberries that were encroaching on my backyard and he was a fun little guy to have around. I sometimes miss my childhood on the farm.

The Yellow Brick Road

GPS shoes for tracking children or the elderly have been around for awhile but now you can get GPS shoes that give directions. The left heel is hollow (I am guessing the design may vary) to contain the GPS unit,the right shoe features a line of LED lights. The lights start out red and change to green as you near your destination,a wheel of lights on the left shoe indicate the direction to walk. The shoes connect to a computer through a USB connection where you load your destination into the shoe. Some shoes are activated by clicking the heels together,unfortunately this feature is too late to help Dorothy. I will take a pass once again as I enjoy the option of getting lost and the surprises encountered on the less traveled path.

How Not To Calculate A Tip

Subtitle,do not use this formula if your brain has been fried. Earlier this year in a nearby town a couple had dinner and drinks at a steakhouse. When it came time to settle the bill they used a gift card and left an envelope for their waitress. When the waitress opened the envelope she found crystal meth, she then turned and calmly walked away to called the police. The couple were still at their table when the officers arrived. An additional amount of meth was found in the woman's purse and after obtaining a search warrant a meth lab was found in their nearby room. Do I need to conclude the story with they were both arrested and jailed? Rocket science at its finest.

Best Pals

Today's title is actually a jab at how I really feel about this product,not that I have anything against alcohol in general,but Palcohol is not a needed addition to the market. Along with the obvious problems of people trying to snort it and being easier for underage drinkers to conceal,I think it sends a subliminal message to the users telling them they CAN NOT be without a drink close at hand. The creator wanted a drink after hiking or camping but didn't want to carry the bulky,heavy bottles. That seems to say that the guy had a least a minor drinking problem. Granted it would be handy for those extended trips...for instance Mars,but seriously I just see more problems than benefits. For those of you who are curious,it is sold in two types of alcohol (vodka and rum) and four mixed drink flavors packets that are added to 5 ounces of water or other beverage.

Hanging Around

Earlier today while discussing a business that may soon be closing I used the phrase "until the last dog is hung",meaning I intended to stay with it until the end. We briefly wondered how the saying had originated,now I hope to fill in those blanks. I found two different possible explanations. The first was a reference to the phrase taken from a 1902 novel "The Blazed Trail" where it referred to vigilante lynchings,the dogs in this case were the human variety. The second seems a likely source for the phrase used in the novel,or at least that was my take on it. The Seneca Indian tribe used to celebrate the New Year by sacrificing a white dog and hanging it from a pole on the fifth day of the celebration (I can't help but wonder if the dog for this ritual was actually a white wolf,a wolf being a better fit with Indian lore). Fortunately neither practice is in use today.

Upgrade Update

The regular readers among you know that I had to say goodbye to my Windows XP and move into a Windows 7 a few weeks back. I am getting along fine with the Windows 7,but wish I hadn't been forced out of my XP,but I digress,what I really want to talk about today is the way the different Windows have been named over the years. In my memory of computers it was Windows 95,then 98 on to ME and then XP? I am lost on the chronology but you get my drift. How do they decide to name the Windows? is it employee suggestions,or some way that would only make sense to the people developing the different renditions? My personal name for Windows 7 (since there is a Windows 8) would be either Dirty Windows or Cataract Windows,because as any Windows 7 user can tell you when you have more than one window open you can still see a blurry piece of the other one,like looking through a dirty window,or a cataract. It is kind of hard to tell by the pictures I found,but you can get the idea from them. I also think they overlooked the advertising element by not going with Dirty Windows...they could have used the song "Dirty Laundry" (Don Henley) and it would have stuck in everyone's mind,and for those that may have nodded off they may have woke up!

Opposites

Since Easter and Halloween are roughly holiday opposites,one being about rebirth and the other being about death,I decided I would write a Halloween related post for today in keeping with my contrary nature. Eggs and bunnies are associated with Easter as symbols of rebirth,there are many symbols of Halloween but for today we are just going to explore the jack-o'-lantern. Jack-o'-lantern is British in origin,literally meaning "man with a lantern" or night watchman. It was also used to describe fools fire or will o'wisp,the lights sometimes seen over wetlands. Over time jack-o'-lantern was the name given to turnip lanterns made by scooping out the inside of a turnip,carving a face on the shell and placing a candle inside. Catholic children would carry the lanterns door to door asking for soul cakes on Hallowmas. It wasn't until Irish immigrants brought the custom to North America in the mid 19th century that the more available pumpkin was used for carving a jack-o'-lantern.
Happy Easter!

Vacuous Barbie

Around a month ago I posted a blog about a gal that came close to being a real life Barbie in so far as looks and measurements (she was also on a liquid diet,but was going to quit that and live off solar energy). That gal was at best eccentric,but there is a Barbie wanna be in CA. that is way above and beyond when it comes to the lengths she is willing to go for her Barbiedom (or maybe that should read Barbie dumb).  First off she changed her name to Blondie Bennett,has had 5 breast augmentation surgeries...but wait there's more!! Apparently she didn't get the memo that Barbie had gone career girl and was no longer a body with a less than adequate brain because in addition to he physical alterations she has also been undergoing hypnotherapy with the goal of decreasing her IQ,yes folks you read that right! She actually wants to be brainless. I don't know about everyone else but I would say she can do without the hypnotherapy sessions as I think she is pretty much at her goal.

Poop Pins

For several years the tourists (and some locals) were wearing baseball caps that looked like a bird had dropped a load on the front of the cap,the caption read "Damn Seagulls". I must admit that I wasn't sorry when I finally quit seeing them,but a jewelry designer in London has taken the bird crap concept to a new level. The artist claims her creativity functions between seduction and repulsion and often finds her inspiration for her pieces looking down at the ground. She has put these ideas into some truly unique works,from ants to bird crap brooches. You might think what you see is gross at first but I think it kind of grows on person once the initial surprise wears off.

Another Reason Reading Is Important

Earlier this year a would be burglar tried to break into a bar in Chicago. The man used a bolt cutter to break the lock in the double glass doors,then removed the lock. After several attempts and further damage to the doors,the man gave up and left. His early morning work was all recorded on security video where it can be clearly seen the the door he was trying to pull open is marked PUSH! Though crime is never a laughing matter I am still chuckling over this one. I don't know how many times I have been distracted and either pulled a push door,or pushed a pull door,and embarrassing as it can be at least I was never trying to break in!

Alternative Power

Electrical power from urine,aka urin-tricity has already passed stage 1 (proving it can work) and is now in stage 2 of the research seeing if it can be produced in useful amounts at a reasonable cost. The main usage for this type of power is for parts of the world where electricity isn't readily available. The power would enable people access to communications through cell phones with the rest of the world. To simplify the way it works the urine is fed into Microbial Fuel Cells (MFCs) and produces electrons as it is consumed by the MFC. Let's end this post with the age old saying,"Power to the people"! but I will remain content to plug my cell phone into the wall socket.

Flushing Brides

Flushing/blushing (brides) either one would work if you chose a sewage treatment plant as your wedding location. The sewage facility near Seattle,WA. just recently began advertising as a wedding venue and though it seems like a bad way to start wedded life the cost is only $2,000,so there is something to be said for that. The actual site is a community center that is part of a park that was bought and planned at the same time as the sewage plant. They claim the grounds are beautiful (really green!) and there are no foul smells. I thought this went nicely with yesterday's post about a different kind of extreme,but you can be the judge of that!

Extremes

Considering the number of people who even own a clothes iron today I am surprised this extreme sport ever got off the ground. I also would have guessed incorrectly that it was proposed by a woman who was trying to get a man to do his own ironing,however EI (another name for extreme ironing) was started by a man in 1997 in England and is both an extreme sport and performance art. People take ironing boards to remote locations and iron articles of clothing. These locations have included mountainsides,forests,canoes,skiing,on top of statues,the middle of the streets,underwater* and parachuting. There is also a breakaway group called Urban Housework who vacuum in various outdoor locations (these people are welcome to do my vacuuming!).

*Ironing underwater seems to go against the laws of physics,but maybe I am missing something?

Knowing Me,Knowing You

"Knowing Me,Knowing You" was one of the many titles of hit songs by the Swedish band ABBA. I am one day short of a week late from when I intended to write this post (I had planned to post it on their 40th anniversary),but moving into the new computer has left me more disorganized than usual.  ABBA split up 30 years ago as the two couple involved were both divorced. Interest in the group was revived with the release of "Mamma Mia!" a movie featuring their music which was also made into a stage production. The group also won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1974 singing "Waterloo". ABBA The Museum opened in Stockholm May 7,2013 and features the bands stage clothes,artifacts,concert footage,interviews and an interactive hologram where you can dress as a band member and sing and dance with the band. Pictured below are a before and after picture.

Do Not Stow Thrones

Okay,the title should really read "Do not throw stones" but once again temptation got the better of me. Today's post is about the Glass house aka Johnson house built in 1949 in Connecticut. The house was an architectural marvel for that time,having been constructed from glass and steel normally used on industrial sites. Though the house is mostly hidden from the street I could not imagine living in a glass house without feeling like I was being watched,but that may just be my paranoia. There are several other troubling factors to consider,in the summer when the daylight hours are longer I would find it impossible to sleep when I needed to,never mind what the heating and cooling costs would be,and don't even think about getting some crazy mad at you! Plus contrary to what some people choose to believe,mother nature does not do windows.
 

St. Who?

Maybe I am ignorant when it comes to some of the lesser known saints,but before I begin,how many of you have heard of St. Denis? It seems like every time I think I have heard or read about every saint possible another saint shows up. St. Denis of Paris is an interesting guy for a couple of reasons,after having his head chopped off he picked it up and walked 6 miles preaching a sermon the whole way (we've all known preachers like that!). Denis and his buddies Rusticus (let's call him Rusty) and Eleutheruis were buried on the site of his beheading where a basilica was later erected in his name. Considering what you know about Denis up to this point what would your guess be for him to be the patron saint of? I would guess neck pain,or maybe the ability to speak under pressure,or even not losing your head would be a logical guess. All those are wrong...St. Denis is the patron saint of headaches,diabolical possession,frenzy,strife,and hydrophobia. If you wish to honor St.Denis, October 9th is his feast day...I found no mention of the typical feast meal for St. Denis,so enjoy at your own risk.

Repartee Party

As most of you may have noticed I enjoy puns and was excited to find the O.Henry Pun-Off World Championship in Austin,Texas. I haven't attended one yet but plan to work it into my agenda in the future. The Pun-Off is held every May at the O.Henry museum and was inspired by William Sydney Porter who is better known by his pen name,O.Henry. The event offers lovers of wordplay and wit either a platform to perform or to be in the audience. Two categories are available,Punniest of Show and Punslinging. Punniest of Show is a solo performance using your own material. Punslingling is a competition between two people on a random topic. Both events are judged by a panel of six judges with the highest scores determining the winners.
Since it is palindrome day 4/10/2014  4102014 and palindrome days are infrequent happenings I would also like to wish every one Happy Palindrome Day!

Sting Operation

This study conducted by a Cornell graduate student has to rate as one of the biggest wastes of time and effort in the name of research that I have heard of. Michael Smith (nickname Lumpy) studies bees and wanted to know where the most painful place to be stung was. Everyday for 38 days he made a bee sting him on a different part of his body (25 different spots) each spot was stung 3 different times with an additional sting on his forearm for control purposes,a total of 190 stings. His conclusions: the most painful spot was the nose,ranking 9 on a pain scale of 1-10,lips were next,penis at 7.3 and testicles,cheek,palm and armpit all coming in at 7. The problem I have with this study (other than the bees being killed) is the pain is going to vary for each individual,and to me the worst part of a bee sting is after the sting when it starts healing and the itching begins. I can tell you from experience neither the butt nor the bottom of the foot are good places to be stung once the itching starts.

I Scream

Today is Ben and Jerry's (ice cream) 36th anniversary,if you are near one of their locations you can drop by for a free cone until 8 pm. I decided since I had recently read an article about their company I would post some interesting facts about them today in their honor.
The legend began in 1978 in Vermont with a $5 course in ice cream making and a renovated gas station for their first store. Ben (one of the co-founders) has no sense of smell which is why their flavors are so rich,he has to be able to taste the flavor so he adds more flavoring until he can taste it. The average time to develop a new flavor is 12-14 months,though some flavors take considerably less and some more. The company receives about 13,000 flavor suggestions a year,all are reviewed for new ideas. There is a flavor graveyard in Vermont complete with headstones for discontinued flavors.
For those of you with a nearby Ben and Jerry's enjoy your free cone!

Chocolate Fruit

At some point I wrote down the words Black Sapote but had no idea why or what they meant when I came across them earlier today,the following is what I found out. The Black Sapote aka,Chocolate Persimmon and Chocolate Pudding Fruit is native to Mexico and can be grown in many areas that are mostly frost free,or have only light frost. The Chocolate Persimmon looks and is shaped like a green tomato,the flesh is dark brown or black with a rich and sweet flavor. It should be picked unripe and left to ripen at room temperature, when ripe it will soften. It is rich in vitamin A and C and can be eaten fresh or used as a chocolate substitute in recipes. I still don't recall where I heard or read about this fruit,but I want to find some and give it a try,it sounds like a chocolate lover's dream come true.

Whack Job

Sorry about the title,but you know how hard it is for me to resist a pun. Today we are going to explore why Kellogg developed Corn Flakes,that innocent breakfast cereal that has been around forever. Kellogg was an Adventist and their belief was that a bland,meatless diet would prevent boys from masturbating (girls weren't mentioned). Dr. Kellogg believed masturbation was a sin against nature and the most dangerous of sexual abuses because it was the most practiced. Along with dietary restrictions he also recommended bandaging or tying their hands,covering their genitals with cages,sewing the foreskin shut and that old stand-by electrical shock. He also advised circumcision without anesthetic as a treatment,and the kids today think they have it rough!  Anyone want a bowl of Corn Flakes?

Win a Baby!!

That's right,in 1912 a raffle was held in Paris,France with babies as the prizes. In those days orphanages were called foundling hospitals and even though the idea of giving babies as prizes in a drawing is unthinkable today,at that time it was a means to place the children in homes. Until the 17th and 18th centuries there were no institutions to provide care for unwanted babies,they were either abandoned in the streets and left to die or killed outright. The raffle enabled the hospital to find homes for a large number of children and raise money to keep the institution's doors open. The winners of the raffle were investigated for their suitability as parents before the children were handed over...I guess you could call it a win-win situation.

Piece of Cake

The cost of weddings is really out of hand,especially if you consider the amount spent on an hourly basis (for wedding and reception),my brain can't begin to wrap itself around that equation,and sadly the expense of the wedding in no way insures a successful marriage. With that thought in mind imagine my shock when I read about the world's most expensive wedding cake. The cost of the cake was $52.7 million,it had eight tiers and was made for the National Gay Wedding Show in Liverpool and was decorated with more than 4,000 diamonds. The previous record for the most expensive cake was $20 million,an average wedding cake's cost is around $540. I can't help but wonder if anyone chipped a tooth chomping down on a diamond.

Dog Gone

I was irate when I heard dogs were getting "tramp stamp" tattoos,I couldn't imagine any dog lover putting their beloved pet through the pain and discomfort for a decorative tattoo. In years past owners had ID numbers tattooed on their animals in case they were lost or stolen,but that procedure finally was replaced with microchips,a lot less pain and suffering for the pet. The real story behind the tramp stamps in question is not what I first imagined,instead it is amusing in a "what will people waste money on next?" kind of way. The temporary tats are actually glitter and non-toxic glue that take about 10 minutes to apply. The cost for the procedure is $100 and will last a month or until the first bath,whichever comes first. I doubt if they would be cost effective in a rainy climate unless your dog was either always under shelter or wore a wrap when out for a walk.

The new computer is up and running...I am far from in love with it and there are still several issues to work out,but who knows? I may grow fond of it in due time.
  

Another Cowboy?

I'm not sure if this should go into the stupid criminal file,or if a new file should be opened to include nude crimes. A man was arrested in Georgia after stealing a car,burglarizing two homes (in one of the homes he drank a beer,made himself a meal and watched baseball) and at some point taking off his clothes except for a cowboy hat. At a third home he tried to steal a motorcycle but wasn't successful so instead he entered the kitchen of the home through the open garage. A girl in the home screamed bringing her mother downstairs where she saw the man running off and called 911. The man was charged with two counts of burglary,criminal trespass and impersonating a police officer...either part of this story is missing or the police uniform in Georgia is a cowboy hat and nothing else?
My new computer just arrived and with any luck it will be a smooth transition from the old to the new,but if not cut me a few days slack just in case!

A New Month

May is National Humor Month,National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month,and Alcohol Awareness Month.
5/1 Boomer Bonus Day
5/2 National Walking Day
5/3 World Party Day (goes along with being aware of alcohol)
5/4 Vitamin C Day
5/5 International Pillow Fight Day
5/6 New Beers Eve
5/7 No Housework Day
5/8 Draw a Bird Day
5/9 National Cherish an Antique Day ( I think this applies to people as well)
5/10 National Farm Animals Day
5/11 International "Louie Louie" Day
5/12 Walk on Your Wild Side Day
5/13 Scrabble Day
5/14 Dictionary Day
5/15 That Sucks Day
5/16 Save the Elephant Day
5/17 Ford Mustang Day
5/18 National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day
5/19 National Garlic Day
5/20 Plum Pudding Day
5/21 National Surprise Drug Test Day (wait a minute...it isn't drug awareness month?)
5/22 National Jelly Bean Day
5/23 English Language Day
5/24 Take Our Daughters & Sons To Work Day
5/25 World Penguin Day
5/26 World Healing Day
5/27 Morse Code Day
5/28 Workers Memorial Day
5/29 Zipper Day
5/30 Bugs Bunny Day
April Fools!! All the above dates are actually in April in case you hadn't guessed...How many of you thought I had slipped a cog?