Tempus Fugit

I finally remembered! I often think of things while I am showering and that is the end of them because by the time I'm finished the thoughts are long gone. I have wondered repeatedly how long a person spends on showering in a lifetime,today's post is an answer to that and other day to day tasks.
On average in a lifetime a person spends:
182 days and 12 hours showering.
25 years sleeping.
Women spend 17 years dieting. (remember this is average!)
1.1 years cleaning (this seems like more,at least while you are doing it.)
3.66 years eating.
92 days on the toilet.
70% of your waking life in front of digital media.
1 teaspoon of alcohol is consumed per day. (right!)
4 to 6 dreams per night for about 2,000 a year. (you forget 80%)
Swears 2,000,000 times.

Just Beat It!

I love how this woman in Houston took her frustration over losing her job and turned it into a business (Tantrum LLC) to help other frustrated people relieve their stress before it gets the upper hand. One of the best parts for her is that so far the overhead is just renting a space to house a few rooms full of mostly free used furniture and dishes for people to come in and destroy. For $35 you get 10 minutes and your choice of implement (she offers golf clubs,baseball bats,lead pipes,sledgehammers or anything else she sees as a useful weapon),for $50 you get 15 minutes,anything over that time she thinks you might need to seek professional help. She says stay at home moms are her most interesting customers.

Alluring?

Apparently it is time for more Florida happenings,I really should keep track of how often Florida weirdness draws my attention,but I have no idea how that information would be useful if I did record it. This time the action is centered in Fort Myers around an art exhibit of 23 pieces called "Allure Your Senses",it is in Fort Myers as part of an 18 city tour. One statue in particular is causing controversy as it depicts a man and his dog urinating on a lamp pole. The artist's explanation is that the work is a parallel between man and dog marking their territory and they represent the commonality of real people. The exhibition is headed to Spain once it leaves Fort Myers,I'm curious if we will be hearing more about "man and dog".

Tipsy or Stupid?

The part I find funny about today's offering is that it wasn't an isolated incident and alcohol was involved in both cases. The most recent incident happened around 3a.m. at a McDonald's in Scotland when an inebriated 27 year old woman wanted to show off her party trick and became trapped in a high chair,after over an hour of her friends attempting to free her the fire department was called and sawed her out of the chair. She commented that she guessed she was too old for that particular party trick now and would have to think of another. I'm wondering if grown women sitting in highchairs is a trend in the UK as in 2013 a 31 year old woman had to be rescued from her son's highchair and was embarrassed as she was only wearing her night clothes...I would have been more embarrassed about being stuck in a highchair,but that's just the way I am.

Cupcake Shipment

Today's post is about a cat named Cupcake and I have several questions regarding this particular story. Question # 1 how could a person pack a cat into a box of DVDs and not notice? First of all the weight of the box should have been a clue,and if Cupcake is anything like my cats the box would have shifted when it was picked up,plus my cats get noisy if they are confined. The last thing that bothers me is she was in the English mail system for 8 days but only traveled 260 miles,am I the only one who thinks that is exceedingly slow? even if it was over a weekend it seems like more time than it should take to get a parcel 260 miles. Fortunately Cupcake was only dehydrated and nervous but otherwise okay. She was reunited with her owner after her microchip was scanned. ( I hope they didn't mail her back!)
 

Fuzzy Wuzzy

This furry dude from Idaho gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "manscaping". I suppose it was inevitable that someone with hairy back syndrome would eventually catch on to the fact that designs could be made in their back hair just like people had done with their scalp hair. A certain amount of respect is owed to this man as not only did he partially do away with his unsightly back hair he also turned it into a source of revenue for a church charity.  It takes him about 4 months to grow the hair back between designs then his friend,a former graphic designer, goes to work and creates another design. The finished product is then photographed and made into a calend-hair which sell for $20.

About That Time

I imagine many of you are still dragging your feet and waiting until the last minute to tackle your taxes,if so you're in luck as I have some taxing quotes to help you out of your funk. I will start with the immortal words of Ben Franklin: In this world,nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.
The taxpayer-that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service exam.  Ronald Reagan
The income tax has made more liars out of American people than golf. Will Rogers
Worried about an audit? Always avoid what the IRS considers to be a red flag. For example,you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. Jay Leno
I saved my favorite for last.
The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well,duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice-cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial free. Will Durst

Square Pegs,Round Holes

Normally I neither do two post in a row featuring a rant,nor do I like to make political comments but since I make the rules in this case all bets are off.  I spent a large portion of the morning trying to find out the reason non-affiliated voters are not allowed to vote in the primaries. Needless to say all I found was double talk instead of a concrete reason. I have not up to this point been affiliated with any political party and would like to remain that way,but I feel the upcoming election is too important to stand on the sidelines. What is the purpose of making a person choose sides? Who benefits? and why are the non-affiliated people discriminated against?  Splain it to me Lucy.

Lethal Stuff

When I heard this on the radio this morning I thought to myself,"that is exactly what I've been talking about".  A Seattle church and daycare center were evacuated after discovering a backpack that was emitting cough inducing fumes. After the call to 911 the emergency vehicles closed off the streets and entered the building in hazmat gear only to discover a faulty can of Axe body spray. That stuff is awful and for some reason the people who wear it seem to think that more is better making it difficult to get within ten feet of them without choking. I would rather have a chance to scent a person's natural pheromones than struggle to breath through the cloud of chemicals they have bathed in. It is even worse if you find yourself in closed quarters with someone who has recently marinated,and forget about enjoying a meal if the wait-staff over indulges their olfactory senses. End of rant!

Nightmare Deluxe

Those of you who know me also know I'm prone to vivid,inventive dreams. Last night I had one,or maybe I should say several as every time I woke up and felt relieved to end that dream I would go back to sleep and pick it up where I had left off (why doesn't that happen when the dreams are good and you want them to continue?). The night started off with it being time to vote only everyone had to pass a complicated test of sorts before receiving their ballot. Once that test was completed you were given a color coded ballot without any key to tell you what the colors meant,another test of sorts I'm guessing to see if you were really serious about voting. The nightmare continued with more frustrating tests throughout the night and I don't know as though I ever finished voting. Do you think I will make it until November with a shred of sanity?  I'm not going to hold my breath!

Air Entrepreneurs

It seems like the Asians never miss an opportunity to make money,while back in the US the trend seems to be either whining about not being able to afford education,or getting the education but not finding work to their liking. Since there is a terrible pollution problem plaguing China people like to go for trips to the mountains to get away from the pollution. Along one of the popular hiking trails a group of clever vendors set up shop selling bags of fresh air. A large bag sells for around $4.63 with a small bag going for  $1.54,the bagged up fresh air can be used on the spot or taken home to enjoy later. The bags sold like hotcakes,the hikers loved them!

Evolved Much?

I have mentioned in the past how the news seems to dwell on the negative and wondered why the public thrived on the blood and gore offered up on a daily basis. It just so happens that I found the answer last week,but immediately forgot where I had read it. Today I found the same information online from several sources and will now pass it on. I will start by assuring you that you are not imagining the negative news,bad new reports outweigh good news by about 17 to 1. Now for the why. Our brains evolved in a hunter/gatherer environment where anything novel or dramatic called for immediate attention to insure survival. While we no longer need those same survival instincts the negative tripwires in the brain are more sensitive than the positive tripwires. Personally I could go days if not longer without hearing bad news and not miss it in the least.

A Fortune For You!

I have some other things I need to tend to this afternoon,actually it involves my new toy but I need to devote some time to getting it up and running in a manner that suits me,so with that said I will share some funny fortunes from Chinese fortune cookies. (In case no one mentioned it,fortune cookies are an American tradition and don't exist in China.)

New Delivery System

This is exciting news for pizza lovers,of course the prototype of DRU  (Domino's Robotic Unit) is just rolling out in New Zealand so it will be some time before it makes a debut delivery in theUS. DRU uses Domino's GPS tracking data and artificial intelligence to make pizza delivery and also features separate compartments to keep the pizza hot and cold drinks cold,plus on board sensors to allow it to avoid obstacles. The Minister of Transport saw no legal blockages for driver less technology . No mention was made of 30 minute delivery deadline,but they may not offer that in New Zealand. I think it's a great use of robotics as it is a job no one wants to do so the people who turned up their noses at a pizza delivery job can just kiss those delivery tips good-bye! I imagine you would pay when you ordered but in the future maybe DRU will have a slot for paying on delivery!

Luck O' the Irish

It was raining green in Wayne,NJ earlier today when a bag of $20 bills fell out of an armored truck and was run over by another vehicle. As you can imagine traffic came to a stop and not only because the armored truck stopped. People were out of their cars chasing the elusive bucks. While the event may have been lucky for some of the people on hand,I am willing to bet the employees belonging to the armored truck were not so lucky. I'm relatively certain that the doors to armored truck are to remain locked at all times,so unless the bag of money had been forgotten on a bumper or on a step my guess is they are in trouble. With any luck it won't cost them their jobs.