Drunk Talk

 Time for quotes again,this time the subject is alcohol.

I like beer. On occasion,I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working. Dave Barry 

I can honestly say all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean,I would never urinate at the Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress,sober. Ozzy Osbourne 

If you enjoy alcohol,remember this:If you put your old,rotten,used-up liver under your pillow,the Beer Fairy will leave you a keg. Paul F. Tompkins 

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. Dylan Thomas 

One martini is all right,two is too many,three is not enough. James Thurber 

Recycling Wipe Out

 A Pennsylvania woman has taken recycling to a whole new level,one above and beyond what most folks would consider doing. She makes butt wipes from old pajamas then launders and reuses them. At least she is using a bidet before using her homemade butt wipes but it's still kind of gross. Her husband isn't on board and she doesn't expect guests to use them either so she keeps toilet paper made from recycled materials on hand for their use. Health officials warned that extra care needed to be taken in laundering the wipes to avoid E-coli like bleach and high heat. I can't help but wonder if she accidentally tosses one in the toilet does she fish it out? because you wouldn't want to flush it and cause a blockage. Oh well,better her than me and I thought I was a master recycler. 

Selective Spectacle

 This 29 year old from Wales was surprised at how she was looked at in both the UK and the US with many people opening staring and pointing,though isn't that what she was going for when she had two surgeries on her former D cup breasts? They are now a M cup and weigh about 5 lb each. Why anyone would want breasts that big is a mystery,not only are they in the way it's hard to get clothes to fit. She was pleased with the people in Australia as she found them more receptive to her breasts with some even making eye contact. Hey,I've got a great idea! Why doesn't she start getting tattoos? She can start with eyeballs on her boobs since that must have been what she was going for in the first place. It would be nice to see a before picture for comparison as I'm guessing her figure was much more balanced. 

Cinderella Story

 Worldwide there are around 700 versions of Cinderella,one of the earliest dating to the first century BCE,though every time I hear Cinderella story I always think of Bill Murray in "Caddyshack".The rendition most of us are familiar with is thought to be political in nature as is often the case with fairy tales and fables. The glass slippers in particular were most likely a dig at Louis XIV and his lavish fashion choices and buildings like the Versailles and the hall of mirrors. The slippers also could have been a nod to France getting their own glassworks and no longer depending on other means to satisfy the lavish lifestyles of the royals. Seriously though glass slippers? who would ever wear them even if your trusted fairy godmother handed them to you? 

Sweet Stuff

 Today's post presents some lesser known candy facts such as why do the marshmallow circus peanuts taste like bananas? and why are Jordan almonds called Jordan almonds and why are they a popular feature at weddings? First even the makers of circus peanuts aren't sure why the candy ended up with a taste suggestive of bananas but they believe they were meant to taste like peanuts but the peanut oil wasn't stable enough so they ended up using banana oil (I didn't even know there was such a thing as banana oil). Next up Jordan almonds are not from Jordan the name is derived from the word for garden (Jardin) ,they were used as a symbol at Italian weddings because the sweet shell offset the bitter taste of the almond suggesting that the marriage would be more sweet than bitter. Greek wedding guests were given bags with an odd number of Jordan almonds to represent indivisibility. 

Toxic People?

Sure,we all know folks we consider toxic but scientists have been researching how animals become toxic and have found that any animal with salivary glands has the potential to become toxic. Most of the genes and molecular mechanisms are already in place but have only become active when a mammal needs the poison to survive like shrews use it to escape their predators and several other mammals use venom as either a defense or an aid to enable them to kill their prey. Whether or not humans will develop a venom system remains to be seen by what our future holds. 

Tongue in Cheek?

 Doesn't it seem like other than giraffes who need their long tongues to eat,that other animals would be hindered by extra long tongues? A 24 year old California man holds the world record for longest tongue at 3.97 inches,I wonder if he has trouble biting his tongue? What he does do with his tongue is wrap it in plastic and paint pictures which sell for up to $1,200 and goes by the name Lickasso. But wait there's more long in the tongue news! Bisbee a 3 year old English setter in Arizona also hold the world record for longest canine tongue at 3.74 inches,though I don't believe he uses his tongue for artistic purposes. 

Five Star Feline

 That tuxedo cat is so big...how big is he? He has his own zip code,well not quite but he is the top tourist attraction in the Polish town of Szezecin and is rated five stars by Google Maps. His name is Gacek which means long eared bat in Polish. People come from around the world to see the famous feline who lives in a wooden box and is cared for by the shop next door to his humble abode. Unfortunately his fame has increased his girth even more, so his caretakers put up a sign asking fans to limit treats suggesting they put their offerings in sealed containers so they can be fed at appropriate intervals. Talk about your fat cat! 

 

Presidential Palates

 In honor of President's Day I found some of the favorite meals of past presidents some are kind of odd. Lincoln was a fan of possum dip,while Eisenhower was a squirrel meat man. FDR enjoyed buffalo tongue as an appetizer and his wife once served hot dogs at a state dinner. Teddy Roosevelt went for elephant heart toasted on a stick though he was odd in that he claimed a love for animals he also loved killing them on big game hunting trips and once killed 500 wild animals in Africa. Woodrow Wilson was a picky eater and preferred plain foods. Both Nixon and his wife ate mass quantities of cottage cheese but both enjoyed adult beverages. The Kennedys were considered epicures and even employed a French chef. Howard Taft's favorite food was roasted possum and he liked to start the day with a hearty breakfast of a 12 oz steak,2 oranges,toast or waffles,coffee and a haunch of venison. No I haven't a clue how to make possum dip,nor do I want to know! 

 

True Blue

 Has anyone ever heard of a Canadian Tuxedo? It goes back to 1951 when Bing Crosby was turned away from a hotel in Vancouver,BC when he tried to check in wearing Levi's and denim jeans were against the hotel's dress code. Word got back to Levi's who designed a complete denim outfit for the mega star even going so far as to sew message inside the jacket stating: "Notice to All Hotel Men: a perfectly appropriate fabric and anyone wearing it should be allowed entrance into the finest hotels." Next time you find yourself decked out in denim you'll know you're dressed to the nines in your Canadian Tuxedo! 

Popsi Trivia

 Though it isn't impossible to find a regular soda can in Hawaii it's far more likely to find one that is manufactured there,on Oahu to be precise, because it is to expensive to ship water which is the main ingredient in sodas. The Hawaii cans have 3 ridges at the top of the can and also a slightly bigger top as it wasn't cost effective to change out their equipment when the rest of the country did since they don't bottle that much. 

Next up is a disgusting sounding union Pepsi and Peeps are reviving their combined flavors again,they did so well when they were introduced 2 years ago they decided to trot them out again in time for Easter. I don't even know anyone who eats Peeps so it is hard to imagine there being a market but apparently the first introduction of 3,000 cans sold out in short order. 

Nope,Nothing's Sacred

 What kind of monster would steal the catalytic converter from the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile? But wait,it gets worse...When PETA found out about the theft they contacted Oscar Mayer and offered to pay for a replacement and maintenance for a year if Oscar Mayer would convert the Wienermobile to Notdogmobile meaning vegan hot dogs. They went on to explain that the tides were changing and Oscar Mayer should get ahead of the trend to go vegan. Nothing really against vegans but I don't appreciate them trying to ram their food down my throat,actually that would be more PETA than vegans but I think most everyone got that without saying it.