Gift Remorse

I happened upon a list of odd presents that the receivers were wondering what the thoughts were behind them. Most of these are indeed on the weird side but it makes me wonder more about the recipients than the givers. Are they really hard to buy for? or maybe every gift they get is made fun of,maybe not intentionally but more out of feeling uncomfortable about gifts in general. Any way you want to look at it some of these are hard to even identify.

Save the Sasquatch!

A unknown Montana man driving a Ford F 150 has been taking shots at people who aren't wearing orange, he figures they must be Bigfoot if there is no orange to show they aren't. At least 2 near victims have come forward to tell about the same man shooting at them. He told the first victim that he doesn't target practice and if he sees something that looks like Bigfoot he just shoots. Since Sasquatch is nearly extinct I thought I should get the message out to everyone to leave large orange vests in the woods for their protection,oh and don't forget to wear orange yourself in case the man in the Ford F 150 happens to be around and mistakes you for the real thing.

Magnetic Thing?

A 42 year old Anchorage,Alaska man stole a front end loader which he used to drive to a salon where he threw a frozen planter through the glass of the door then stole several items and made his get away on the loader. My take on this is either he was in serious need of hair products and his need blinded him to the fact that a front end loader would not be the most inconspicuous vehicle to make good on his escape...or being closer to the north pole some weird magnetic force made him temporarily stupid which could also explain some of the odd happenings in Florida,not the proximity to the pole but a magnetic spot that influences people in a weird way. Don't laugh,stranger things have happened.
 

Prolific Streaker Retiring

I imagine Guinness World Records doesn't include things like streaking as to avoid sullying their reputation,though if they did this guy would be a shoo in. At 53 the Liverpool,England man has streaked 568 events and been arrested 25 times though the arrests usually amount to being held for an hour or two then released. A few of the more prestigious venues he has performed at include: Super Bowl,Olympics,Crufts Dog Show,and Cannes Film Festival. He claims he is an artist and it is exhilarating to bare it all and make people laugh. Better him than me.

That Didn't Take Long

Just the other day I commented that Florida had been fairly normal lately but we all knew that wouldn't last. Police were called to a Niceville,FL residence when neighbors noticed smoke. The firefighters were met by a naked man at the door,he said he was sorry and closed the door. The police arrived and managed to get the man to open the door again,the man then explained that he had drank two liters of vodka and smoked some marijuana then decided to bake cookies on his George Foreman Grill. The cookies caught on fire so he tried to smother the fire with dry towels. He had to be forcibly removed from his home as he still hadn't realized he was in danger. Can you imagine being an emergency responder in Florida?

Seriously Twisted

Making balloon animals is one thing but making apparel out of balloons seems like an incredibly bad idea. Not only would it be courting wardrobe malfunctions there would be zero amount of comfort and even the thinnest of those among us look several sizes larger,never mind the popping factor if a person sat on the wrong thing. Never the less this father of two took up making balloon clothes after he started playing with his daughters balloon modeling kits. He isn't the only person designing fashions from balloons either,plus at least one person is using condoms in their designs. I'm going to go ahead and stay with more natural fibers at least for the time being.

Santa Cause

Finally an opportunity to present something mostly normal about Florida! Okay,maybe 600 surfing Santas isn't exactly normal but it is still a far cry from the usual shenanigans. It all started in 2009 when a man saw a Honda ad featuring surfing Santas. His wife made him a Santa wetsuit and the Christmas Eve event was born. Yesterday's event raised $40,000 which was split between two nonprofit organizations further proving that there are some semi sane people in Florida after all.

A Passel of Possums

Did you know a group of possums is called a passel? Even though some folks find possums offensive they are actually unique in many ways. They are the only marsupials in North America,they are mostly immune to rabies,they are also immune to poisonous snakes,gardeners should be delighted to have them around as they feed on insects and slugs along with various other things that need to be disposed of,they are smart and can find their way through a maze with more ease than either a rat or a cat and of course we all know of their ability to play possum which is actually more like fainting than any conscious act. If you happen to see one that seems to be missing part of their tail or ears it isn't from fighting (as a rule they are pretty peaceful) but rather from frostbite as they don't sleep together and often lose the tips of their tails and ears. Poor pitiful Polly possum.

Hairy Situation

Another Guinness World Record has been set for teen with the longest hair. She is a 16 year old in India and her hair is 5 feet 7 inches long. I tried to find out how tall she was but was unable to get that info. She claims she had a bad haircut when she was 6 and hasn't had it cut since that time. She also says her hair is no problem as she just puts it up when she is doing something active,but I rather doubt she is caring for all that hair on her own,in fact I'm not even sure she could brush it by herself. Before she held the record a 17 year old with hair 1.52 meters long was the holder,she also grew her hair for 10 years to get to that length. Oh,one more thing...if you google teen with longest hair mostly porn sites come up,no idea why that would be but I thought I should mention it.

Current record holder 

Previous record holder from Argentina 

and I Quote...

A few fun quotes about life.
"Life is a near-death experience." George Carlin
"I don't believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously." Ray Bradbury
"When we remember we are all mad,the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." Mark Twain
"The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." Clarence Darrow
"If life was fair,Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Johnny Carson
"In the book of life,the answers aren't in the back." Charlie Brown
"Life isn't a cabaret,it's a dive bar." Woody Paige

Flavor Canes

I've been noticing several ads for macaroni and cheese flavored candy canes and had a couple of thoughts about them,first why would they still be called candy canes? and if they're making mac and cheese I wonder if there are other flavors? There are several other flavors all of which I would prefer to peppermint with the exception of clam,not that I don't like clams it just doesn't seem like a flavor that would translate well artificially.