The Real Magic Bird

A few days ago I featured a post about how Popeye supplemented his strength by rubbing the Whiffle hen's head in his pre-spinach days and wanted to point out that today's post is about a real bird named Magic. Magic is (was?) a Senegal parrot who had a knack for lock picking. His elderly owners acquired him as a chick 22 years ago and when they left for vacation their daughter was in the process of transferring Magic to her home to care for him in her parents absence. Knowing of his ability at lock picking they had secured the cage door with two locks but when they arrived and opened the car door Magic soared out and was gone. The daughter and her husband frantically called to Magic and tried to lure him with food,they also posted signs with his picture,but they are afraid he met a violent end with the Magpies. I've had birds and once they are domesticated they lack the skills necessary to survive on their own. I can only hope that Magic is an exception and can be found and reunited with his family.

Who Was That Masked Man?

Earlier this week in Florida (is it just me or does it seem like lots of odd things happen in Florida?) around noon a masked man walked into a Dunkin' Donuts and took his place at the end of the line. After reaching the counter and pulling out a gun he still went unacknowledged by the clerk who attended another customer. He waited several more minutes before giving up and leaving...but wait there's more! The next day he called the police and told them he was the man who had attempted to rob the store. He said he needed money for drugs but he wasn't very good at the robbery thing. A person can't help feeling somewhat sorry for a polite criminal who was utterly inept. I wonder what kind of mask he was wearing? In the Northeast there were several donut shop robberies where the suspect wore a Barack Obama mask.

A Few Fun Quotes

What is a crook but a businessman without an office?

Corporation,n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Any organization is like a septic tank. The really big chunks rise to the top.

Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator,they need a receipt.

The human being who would not harm you on an individual face-to-face basis,who is charitable,civic-minded,loving and devout,will wound or kill you from behind the corporate veil.

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing,but together can decide that nothing can be done.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Need I say more??

A Magic Chicken

I intended to do today's post on Popeye Day (1/17), but got derailed somewhere along the way. Popeye was 86 years old on the 17th of this month and things have changed for him since his debut. The first strip featuring Popeye shows him being hired to sail Castor Oyl (Olive's dad),Olive and her then boyfriend, Ham Gravy to Dice Island,a casino resort. The nefarious Castor brings a secret weapon,Bernice the Whiffle Hen. Whiffle Hens are good luck when you rub the three hairs on their heads. After winning big at the casino they are tracked to the boat and Popeye is shot 15 times. He rubs Bernice's head and proceeds to kick butt in the legendary Popeye fashion. Bernice was well before my time,so my memory of Popeye's restorative powers are limited to spinach.

Crime Time

Yes,it's time for the less than brilliant crime of the month,or in this case maybe the whole year. A 34 year old man was arrested at a Tesco Store in Bar Hill,England after threatening to kill the staff and brandishing the photo of a gun. I'm not trying to make light of the man's death threat,but if I had been one of the threatened employees,I'm afraid I may have died laughing. The man was later released on bail until his court date.
Seriously folks,some of the dumb criminal posts I do could be masterminded by the family pets and have a better chance of fruition...then again at least no one gets hurt with the photo of a gun,unless maybe a paper cut?

Tuckered

Before it even got started the innovative Tucker automobile was laid to rest largely due to negative publicity generated by the ruling "Big Three" automakers who were rightfully scared of the newcomer. 51 cars manufactured in 1948 was all the company managed to produce before going broke defending itself from a baseless charge of stock fraud. The Tucker focused on safety and was way ahead of its time with many features. A perimeter frame and roll bar built into the roof provided crash protection,they also featured a padded dash which other makes didn't offer until the early 60s. The few Tuckers that were produced are most remembered for the 3rd directional headlight,known as the "Cyclops Eye" which activated at steering angles greater than 10 degrees to light the path around corners. Though they sold for around $4,000 in 1948, if a person could find one to purchase today the cost would be in the neighborhood of $1,200,000. The pictures remind me of the Studebaker cars from around that same time period.

Ice Baby!

The word ice is a homonym and can mean diamonds,killing someone and probably other things as well,but in this case it means frozen water. I stumbled upon an interesting ice related job that I felt compelled to write a post about. I hadn't given much thought to how ice palaces are constructed but didn't really imagine it involved a special occupation...Icicle Farmer. At the Utah based "Ice Castles" they grow around 15,000 man made icicles per day. They are grown on patented metal tubes that on a good night can produce icicles up to 3 feet long. The icicles are then harvested by hand and transported to the location of the ice castle in progress. Up to a half million  icicles are then stacked like bricks and held in place using slush as mortar. Once the icicles are in place sprinklers are turned on nightly to continue to form more ice and to keep the structure strong. It takes about a month for the process to be completed and the results are all unique depending on the part Mother Nature plays in the finished castle.

Fruitless Sex

Here I go again wondering why scientists choose to study the things they study,only this time I'm afraid I may know the answer...with any luck it is just that pesky paranoia acting up again.
In July of last year Russia launched a satellite containing several biological experiments,though the one that concerns me is the sex in space geckos. Why are they studying animal sex in space unless they might know that our days on this planet are numbered?  Have we already destroyed  Earth to the point of no return? If so from what the experiments have revealed it looks like the end is near. The geckos died,so no conclusions were drawn from their space sex,but back in 1979 a similar experiment was done with rats and while two females became pregnant they never gave birth. It seems that in micro-gravity sperm counts drop and ovaries shut down...of course this would be perfect for those of you looking for alternate birth control! DOOMED! We're all DOOMED!

Someone Dropped the Ball

While I was at the gym this morning I heard on the radio what I thought was a story about a man having a motorcycle helmet tattooed on his head. I was wrong about that as it was about a different helmet tattoo,but in my defense there were also three televisions on and other assorted noises. I should have figured it would be more about the Patriots and their poor behavior being found out,but it was a little beyond even my vivid imagination. This Florida man has his head tattooed like a football helmet. Is he a fan? or was he an adviser to the team on how to give themselves an edge with under inflated balls, as the pictures are mug shots? And if there is a rule about how more the ball is to be inflated who dropped the ball by not checking until after the game? plus if it helped one team wouldn't it be helpful to the other team as well? This whole ball thing has really been blown out of proportion (pun intended),there is even a song (not a good one I might add) about Tom Brady's balls which I heard on my way home. For those of you with a morbid curiosity the song can be heard on You Tube.

Break Some Eggs

I know this isn't really funny but I was intrigued by the thought that it had to be a once in a lifetime type of accident. The accident I am referring to involved three tractor trailers,the first one had a load of eggs when it broke an axle causing it to over turn. Traffic started backing up from that mess when another truck hauling pallets of cheese pulled to the side of the highway to wait for things to be cleared up...along comes truck number three loaded with around a million dollars worth of meat and a driver who was  apparently not paying much attention to the task at hand causing him to plow into the second truck that had pulled over,thus creating a really large road omelet! I would have never believed it if a fourth truck carrying produce had been involved!

Stick It in Your Ear

Today we are going to revisit the quirky world of Asian spa treatments. Actually the world of ear picking is mostly a Vietnamese specialty and is not limited to spas as barbers and others also offer the service. The basic treatment consist of twirling an extra fluffy swab around your ear to get the,shall we say top layer of debris? Next comes a scary blade that is employed to cut the small hairs that are there to keep things from getting into the ear canal,then they began to harvest the wax crop,if there is one to harvest and from what I read there usually is. Now comes the kinky part and also the reason the treatment has become popular...the ear has a G spot and when that spot is reached you can have what they call an eargasm,in the words of Dave Barry,"I am not making this up!" Western doctors have confirmed that there is a sensitive area in the ear that can indeed cause a pleasant tingling sensation! I am going to have to think about this some more before I commit myself one way or another.

Paws to Contemplate

Did you know a cat's paw can be read like a human's palm? There are a couple of books about pawmistry,but admittedly they are far from scientific. According to a Japanese paw chart the dewclaw reveals the life line,the first digital pad on the right relates to luck,the second indicates intelligence,the third love and the fourth reveals appetites. Another source claims the secrets of the paw to be revealed by the shape of the paw rather than the pads,either way it's an entertaining idea. Fair warning! Once you have seen the teddy bear drawn on a cat's paw,you'll never be able to un-see it!

Off To the Races!

The "Urban Idiotarod",not to be confused with the Alaskan Iditarod Sled Dog Race,started in San Francisco in 1994 and has branched out to nineteen other US cities. The Portland Idiotarod started in 2001 and runs a course over 4 miles through downtown. This race and several (maybe all?) of the others occur on the same date as the actual Iditarod,the first Saturday of March. The race consists of teams of five idiots who tie themselves to a grocery shopping cart and run through the streets. The races include crazy costumes, decorated carts,and sabotage of the other teams. There are no winners or losers at the Portland event,other cities offer prizes for Best in Show and in Chicago the event raises food for the areas food banks. Sounds like a good time for everyone involved!

Strange Stuff

I don't know,maybe it is just me getting more prudish with age but when I read about a Chinese adult breastfeeding ring I thought this is sick and wrong. Fifteen people were arrested for selling the services of young mothers. They hired the recent moms to breastfeed paying adults leaving them to feed their own babies powdered milk. Most of the contacts,pricing and other arrangements were done by instant messaging. An undercover reporter arranged to be breastfed (the clean service) for around $160,for $235 he was offered the dirty service which included sex.

Weird Science

As you regular readers know I am often shocked and appalled by some of the "research" that is done,especially when it comes to animals. Not only does some of it seem like a waste of time and brain power,some of the experiments are downright cruel...case in point,the featherless chicken. Developed at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem by crossing a breed of chicken with a naturally bare neck and a regular broiler chicken the end result is more susceptible to parasites and sunburn,plus the males have been unable to mate because they can't flap their wings. The idea was to make a faster growing (because no nutrients would be going to feather production),environmentally friendly bird that could survive in warmer conditions. In my opinion the experiment failed miserably.

Homeless Hero

I usually try not to have the same subject in posts that are too close together just for the sake of variety,but when I heard about this one I decided it was worth breaking that rule.
A homeless cat in the Russian town of Obninsk saved an abandoned baby from the freezing weather. The residents of the apartments where Masha (the cat) lives all leave food out for her and supplied her with a cardboard box to curl up in when the weather was severe. One of the residents heard what they thought to be Masha meowing and went to see if she was hurt or in distress and found Masha curled up around a 6-12 week old baby boy. An ambulance was called for the baby and Masha followed the attendant and tried to get in when they put the baby inside. After they headed off for the hospital Masha sat by the road waiting for them to bring the baby back for several hours. The baby checked out to be fine thanks to Masha's mothering instincts and authorities are now searching for the parents.

Just Say "I Don't"

Time for some weird trivia...Giovanni Vigliotto,a part time flea market trader, married 105 women only to take what money and belongings they had and abscond to parts unknown. It is thought that he had possibly 120 aliases but had settled on the exotic sounding Giovanni. His MO was asking the women to marry him on their first date,then after the wedding he would tell them he lived in another part of the country and he wanted them to relocate to his home,he then convinced them to sell their homes,give him the proceeds,packed up the belongings and left with a promise to call when he got there. He finally met a woman in Arizona who decided to track him down...she found him at a flea market selling her furniture in Florida. He was eventually tried, convicted and sentenced to 28 years in prison. Seriously ladies,are any of you that silly?? As you might have guessed no pictures are available for this post.

South Paws...Really!

It is possible that I am the only one who didn't know that cats (dogs and horses as well) are right or left pawed depending on their sex. With cats females are about 98% right pawed ( a few are ambidextrous and some are lefties) while males are left pawed by the same percentage. This was determined by several different studies at several different universities. To determine if if your pet is a leftie or a rightie the test has to be complex and challenging,if it is a simple play activity such as batting at a toy mouse they will use their paws equally.
I was thinking it would be great if humans were right or left handed by sex but then I realized if most men were lefties the tables would be turned and right handers would be the odd ones out,oh well back to the drawing board, as usual!
.

Have a Zit

I came across a reference to a Greek soft drink called Zit,I can't seem to find out much more about it so maybe the name has been changed? I did come across a list of other brand name choices that do not translate well into English.

• Ass Glue (blood tonic from donkey parts, China)
• Blue Peter (canned fish, Norway)
• Colon Plus (liquid detergent, Spain)
• Fockink (liqueur, Netherlands)
• Green Piles (lawn fertilizer, Japan)
• Homo Sausage (beef jerky, Japan)
• Hornyphon (video recorder, Austria)
• Krapp (toilet paper, Sweden)
• Last Climax (paper tissues, Japan)
• Mucos (soft drink, Japan)
• Pansy (men's underwear, China)
• Pipi (orangeade, Yugoslovia)
• Plopp (chocolate bar, Sweden)
• Polio (detergent, Czechoslovakia)
• Pshitt (soft drink, France)
• Shitto (hot spiced pepper sauce, Ghana)
• Skinababe (baby cleanser, Japan)
• Superglans (car wax, Netherlands)
• Trim Pecker (trousers, Japan)
• Zit (lemon-lime soft drink, Greece)
• 

Symbols

I just read a few days ago that Massachusetts has a state witch and thought that was fitting since that was where the Salem trials were held  in 1692,what I didn't know was how controversial it was. A local witch had went to the Salem mayor asking to be appointed the official witch and had been denied as the city council went ballistic over the idea (they sound more like the religious zealot types,even wanted Harry Potter books banned) so she went to the then governor Michael Dukakis and was granted her request. She has written several books about Witchcraft and had  shops in three different locations under three different names,she closed her last shop in 2012 to develop her online business. She even taught Witchcraft (who knew colleges had classes in Witchcraft?) at Salem State College,Wellesly College and Harvard,so it seems to me that she had her credentials in order. It is amazing that in this country people are so threatened by someone with beliefs different from their own...one would almost think it was still 1692.

Code Name

Since it is Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day I decided to post the Morse Code alphabet to help you with that endeavor.

In case you wonder a dot is called a dit and a dash is called a dah. Now let's see if you can translate the following: - - - .-.  . - -. - - -  - .  . - .  . -  . .  - .  - . - -  - . .  . -  - . - -  . - -  - - -   - -  . -  - .  . -  - .

That should come out to mean Oregon Rainy Day Woman! Good luck with your attempt!

Plan Ahead...Or Not

The following thwarted crimes are perfect examples of the one liner "nothing is foolproof to a talented fool:
A 22 year old man held up a bank with a fake gun but failed to make a getaway because he had locked his keys in the car.
Someone attempted to rob a credit union but fled after the teller told him there was no cash available.
A 47 year old man robbed a US Bank then turned himself in weeks later because of his guilty conscience.
This one should win the dumbest criminal award...A man broke into a home but before he left with the goods he checked his Facebook page and didn't log out.
An attempted business burglary went wrong when one of the suspects butt dialed 911!

Automatic Dimmer

You regular readers know I enjoy sharing off the wall inventions even though I would like to see the brain power put to more substantial usage. Today's offering is also available for the do it yourself bunch,though the parts list calls for around 40 items. They are called "Romance Pants" and as you lower the zipper they dim the lights and turn up the stereo...but wait there's more! When you pop the waist button electronic candles are ignited. They were designed for the Red Bull Creation 2012,which I am hoping explains the over-sized bull belt buckle. I don't know about everyone else but if someone tried to seduce me while taking off their "Romance Pants" I think I would make them zip them back up and start over several times until I was satisfied they were working correctly,but that's just me.

The big buckle also holds some of the gadgetry. 

Nearly Extinct

I was reading somewhere that Brazil had the largest group of uncontacted tribes of anywhere in the world,but what made me want to learn more was they used the number 77 for the amount of tribes and I wondered if they were uncontacted how they  could possibly know there were 77 tribes? The answer is they don't know,that is just an educated guess. The people of these tribes are in constant danger from loggers and ranchers who want the land they live on,and of course any contact with the outside world is a chance that the tribe will be wiped out from introduced disease like the common cold or flu,much like what happened with our own Native Americans. They will only survive if their land is protected,so they  can continue to live in peace,free
from the fear of extermination and disastrous contact.

Get Blasted!

Can you imagine a job paying a person $60,000 a year to be a "Human Bullet Impact Tester"? I didn't even know such a job existed,not only does the position exist but when the paintball company posted the job they received over 10,000 applicants! The responses included interesting reasons that the applicants thought made them qualified for the job...one man said he was fat,so he would be easier to hit,another pointed out he could smash watermelons with his head,a female applicant had been shot while working as a magicians assistant and thought that would qualify her for the job. When the company whittles down the resumes to the top 10 they decided to have a boot camp to make the final choice.  I wonder if they would be eligible for Workers' Comp after they become shell shocked? it seems like it would be a likely hazard.