That Terrible Age

 Regardless how a person feels about children they have their moments both good and bad though as a parent sometimes the bad moments seem longer and more pronounced. With that said I offer some quotes on kids. 

Having Children is like having a bowling alley in your brain. Martin Mull 

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld 

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies,who like to eat theirs. P.J. O'Rourke 

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. Rita Rudner 

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Phyllis Diller 

When my kids become wild and unruly,I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished I climb out. Erma Bombeck 

Piece of Cake

 Candles on birthday cakes have been around so long no one thinks about when and why the tradition started. There isn't one easy exact answer but many believe candles on cake started in ancient Greece and that a cake with candles was brought to honor Artemis at her temple on the 6th day of every lunar month,the flaw with this answer is the candle hadn't been invented yet. Fire played a major role in many pagan rituals as they thought the smoke carried their prayed to the gods in the sky and warded off evil spirits. The most likely of the options comes from 18th century Germany where they celebrated Kinderfest ,the children were allowed to celebrate in a room where they were kept safe from evil spirits,the event closed with the presentation of a cake adorned with candles. Personally I'm still kind of stuck with who decided it was a good idea to put a burning object on a perfectly fine cake? maybe if the cake had turned out really ugly,but otherwise candles seem an odd choice. 

Hog Wild

 With all the problems currently going on in the US,what's one more? How about feral pigs? If that doesn't alarm you it may be because you don't know much about pigs. Pigs will eat anything,so these 9 million wild pigs aren't only destroying crops,they are also wreaking havoc with livestock and the eco-systems that support wildlife. But wait! It gets worse! These feral swine are breeding with domestic pigs producing hybrids called "super pigs" who in turn multiply even faster. If you're still not concerned have you ever heard the phrase,"went to shit and the hogs ate him"? Pigs truly can and will eat anything. 

Sleeping In

 A mattress reviewing company,Sleep Junkie,is looking for a real Sleeping Beauty who will be paid $3,000 to sleep on the job. The work entails testing 3 top rated mattresses in a 2 month time period and writing detailed reports of the experience. The person they are looking for needs to be a self starter,able to work independently,have good writing and evaluation skill,plus be exceptionally good at sleeping. For the bonus the Sleeping Beauty gets to keep their favorite mattress. Where were these jobs while I was still in the job market? 

He Got It Backwards

 A 29 year old man in southwestern China apparently didn't realize that most people high on meth either go to great lengths to get money for more meth or in a drug induced stupor throw themselves from high places or other equally lethal acts. Instead of either of those common meth actions he decided to throw money off his 30th story balcony to the delight of the people below. Of course the police came because of the congestion caused by the crowd,then arrested the man for narcotics abuse. The exact amount of money isn't known but was estimated to be 200,000 renminbi (around $30,847 US,if I read the chart correctly). The public is expected to return the money...if it was for me to decide I would say the money should be used for drug related problems,but once again,what do I know? 

Now I Get It

 At some point I probably knew that the Amazon logo was supposed to be a smile even though I mentally always thought of it as an arrow. Now they are releasing a new icon for their smartphone app which includes a blue strip which is supposed to represent tape,though people are losing their minds over it because it reminds them of Hitler's mustache.  I'm in no way defending Amazon and don't really see the tape as Hitler's mustache,though since everyone is always seeing penises whenever there is the slightest resemblance to a penis I can't help but wonder why no one ever saw the Amazon "smile" as a penis? 

Isn't Danger Part of the Deal?

 I'm a little confused about a safety feature for motorcycle riders since for the most part they seem to enjoy the danger of riding,or at least it seems that way. I'm basing that on when the helmet laws were passed and they threw fits about having to wear them though they eventually adjusted. Now not only do they have airbags a rider can use under their jacket,they also are about to release airbag jeans. The jeans are made of denim that was originally designed for space so a person could probably skid down the highway quite a distance before the road met the skin,plus they have airbags in the jeans that are deployed when a leash attached to the motorcycle detaches as they fall. Then again I've seen people severely beat up when their car's airbag deployed so I'm not sure if that would be the same deal with the vest/jeans airbags.  

Funny Until Someone Gets Hurt

 Sleepwalking can be entertaining as shown with this woman's escapades but it is mainly caused from stress plus the sleepwalker can be injured during their somnambulist wanderings. This woman's husband set up cameras to record her nightly activities and was rewarded with her mumbling in the kitchen as she gathered an armload of soft drinks which she took outside and and threw selectively onto the lawn,she then returned to the kitchen for more and can be heard saying,"It's like a moose knuckle." She returned to the lawn and as she was distributing the drinks to what she thought was a pool party a passer by is seen stopping to observe. She says sometimes the sleepwalking goes on for an hour. Other episodes include sprinkling sunflower seeds on the living room floor,wrestling a stuffed octopus and walking naked in a hotel corridor which she finally woke up from without her room key. 

What Could Go Wrong?

An Oklahoma Rep is trying to pass legislation to create a Bigfoot hunting season,he says it would be great for tourism and instead of shooting Bigfoot they would be trapping Bigfoot. He was seeing dollar signs thinking of the licensing and tag fees,then sanity stepped in with the Oklahoma Dept. of Wildlife Conservation and rained on his parade by explaining their dept uses science driven research. Did I mention this is the same Rep who wanted to make abortion illegal without the man's consent and he preferred the term host for pregnant women.  For now Bigfoot is safe,except for in Texas.  

The Dress Explained

Do any of you long time readers remember the optical illusion dress? To some it appeared white and gold and to others blue and black,an explanation of that is now available since a similar thing happened. An Australian news presenter poster a picture of her dress on Instagram and said,"Wednesday in White! Living for this dress-the smooth lines,lapel collar detail,divine fabric and the freshness of white."Her followers responded that the dress was blue. She then realized it was the light,so she had another picture  taken in the bright studio light where the dress was white. The same can be said of the viral dress from 2015,it was a lighting thing. Oh,and that dress really was blue and black. 

Instinct Or?

 Though some might argue whether animals have empathy they exhibit it all the time,even in the wild. With that said why is it so hard for some humans? The following two,and maybe on the third are examples of pets showing their feeling/empathy for their owners. The first is a dog who started limping after his owner broke his ankle,the owner couldn't figure out what was wrong so he spent $400 to find out the dog was imitating him. Next is another dog who followed her owner to the hospital and even though his daughter took the dog home she would come back at 9 the next morning and put in her shift waiting at the door. The final example is hard to call without more information,plus with a cat you never know. A woman was waking up as tired as she was when she went to bed so she decided to set up a camera to see if she could figure it out,it turned out her cat was hitting her arm from 11 pm to 3 am. One suggestion was she might have sleep apnea and the cat was trying to make her breath,or maybe he just wanted to play? Hard one to call. 

Done and Done

Today we turn a page in the history of our nation and leave behind the toxic hate filled rhetoric that has served to both divide us and stir others to violence,now we can open a new chapter to healing. Number 45 was disrespected worldwide because he had no respect for anyone. With those thoughts in mind The Museum of London has acquired the trump baby balloon for the protest themed collection. The balloon was first flown in 2018 on trump's first visit and has since toured the world uniting people with the message of sticking together to fight against the politics of hate. 

  

Bum Rap

 Maybe a mysterious end was in the cards for the father of mystery/detective stories though most of us have been led to believe that Edgar Allan Poe either drank himself to death or went insane which in turn caused his death. With modern technology applied to his case there seems to be several other possibilities for his death. When he was dug up to be moved to a place of honor 26 years after his original burial he was mostly bones though inside his skull was a hard mass which indicated a brain tumor since the brain would have decomposed where a tumor can calcify and last much longer. That alone would have explained his behavior leading up to his death. His hair was also tested and offered proof that alcohol was not the cause of death. There are several other theories regarding his demise though the facts remain a mystery. 

 

Or Die Trying

 A 58 year old French woman has been trying to prove she's alive since 2017. It all started when a employee from her cleaning company filed for wrongful dismissal after 20 years. It is unclear how or why the courts decided she was deceased even though both the woman and her attorney have tried to prove otherwise but the bottom line is they continue to take her belongings to pay the debt even though the ex-employee wasn't awarded a settlement. She says she lives in fear for her life,which is rather ironic considering her circumstances.