I'll Be!

Today is "where did that idiom come from" day. Used to express disbelief or surprise and amazement,the phrase "I'll be a monkey's uncle" is said to date from 1925 and the widely publicized Scopes Trial. It was a sarcastic remark made by people opposed to the theory of evolution. Darwin's book "The Origin of Species" was published in 1859,followed by "The Descent of Man" in 1871,the idea of humans being descendants of apes was considered blasphemous,so the phrase was put into use to express disbelief in Darwin's theory.

Confused

The Baltimore "riot mom" is being touted as "Mother of the Year" and I couldn't agree more,if more parents jumped in and corrected their children when it was needed the world would be a safer and saner place...but (you knew that "but" was coming,didn't you?) even though she is a hero today,who is to say that there won't be repercussions for her actions at some point? Let's face it if she had been caught on camera doing that on a normal day some do-gooder would have turned her in for child abuse. I imagine there are people who are  silently judging her actions and wondering why she didn't take him by the hand and ask him to share his feelings,or walk him out of bounds for a "time-out",quite frankly I don't see as how most of the gentler parenting is making better children,for that matter if violence in the home isn't happening anymore where are these people learning how to riot and be destructive? It seems to me that a balance needs to be struck some where in between the two extremes,obviously no child should be burned with cigarettes or have bones broken for punishment,but hands off parenting doesn't seem to be working either.

Nap Time

For some reason today's post reminds me of the "Tortoise and the Hare" fable,but that is probably just me. A 37 year old (yes,it's Florida again!) man suspected of stealing a car was stopped for not having tag lights. He pulled over and got out of the car and ran,the deputy followed but lost sight of him. When back up arrived and the search resumed they heard a sound described as "a snorting wild boar" and found the suspect asleep under a trailer. He was arrested and jailed for driving with a suspended license,vehicle theft,and resisting a police officer. It seems to me if a person were running from the law the adrenaline charge would prevent them from falling asleep,but maybe there were other problems involved...narcolepsy? or possibly drugs? He certainly looks tired in his photo.

Not Always Florida

As you regular readers know I often include the bizarre happening in the state of Florida as fodder for my blog as they seem to be in constant supply. Not the case for today's post,this time the weirdness takes place in Knoxville,TN. A young man was stopped twice in an 18 hour period (between 2 a.m. and 8 p.m.) for using flashlights  to replace his broken headlights. On both occasions he was sited for improper headlights,violation state registration law,and driving without insurance. His story was he had an accident that broke both headlights and couldn't afford to have them fixed,so he bought flashlights and bungee corded them to his bumper. Apparently he thought that would be an adequate fix but now he is further in the hole because of his oversight...or maybe that should be undersight? or perhaps darksight? The moral of today's post is weirdness happens everywhere,all you need to do is look around!

Instant Insanity

Today's post is of the accidental variety,in that I was looking for something else instead,but couldn't pass up this special kind of crazy. Apparently there is a new drug on the street called flakka aka "$5 insanity". The drug can cause hallucinations and is associated with violent aggression,kind of makes a person would why anyone would want to take it,but that is another topic for another day.What ever his reasons for taking the drug,a 34 year old man went running naked through the streets of Ft. Lauderdale,FL. When he was finally apprehended he claimed there were individuals after him who wanted to kill him,and they had also stolen his clothes. He was hoping to be hit by a car so they would stop chasing him.
 

Private Dancers

Many of you may have already heard about this since the video of the Swedish sex education cartoon had more than a million views within a day of being posted on YouTube. The video was shown on a children's program to explain about sexual organs. The name of the minute long clip was "Snoppen och Snippan,the child friendly words for penis and vagina (snipp and snopp). The video was designed to introduce children aged 3-6 to the difference between boys and girls. Some of the catchy lyrics to the music include: "Here comes the penis at full pace" and "the vagina is cool,you better believe it,even on an old lady. It just sits there so elegantly".  Oddly enough some of the more frequent complaints were about the vagina being depicted with long eyelashes,reinforcing gender stereotypes.

Real Fakes

I didn't realize that standardized patients aka simulated patients,sample patients or SPs for short actually existed,and in my defense maybe they don't in this area. Until recently the only time I had heard of SP was on an episode of Seinfeld,where Kramer gets a job as an SP,then a few days ago I heard about it being a real job and had to check it out. Pretty interesting stuff,the pay is $15 and hour and there is some training involved (I feel the need to mention I didn't see anywhere whether or not the job included medical coverage,and found that slightly ironic). The SP learns how consistently portray healthcare problems then evaluate the doctors in training. It seems to me that it would be better to work with real patients as the symptoms can vary greatly with different medical problems and you wouldn't want a doctor to be to get the idea that the symptoms of any ailment were cast in stone,which could cause them to miss a diagnosis in a future patient, of course that is just my opinion and I am not the most trusting of patients when it comes to doctoring!

Attention Furballs!

At the risk of sounding like a commercial for the FURminator deshedding tool,you won't be sorry if you buy one. I brush my cats every day not only in hope of eliminating some of the shedding,but they also enjoy it and expect it...all part of the service to them. That said I'm not sure why I bought a FURminator as I didn't really expect it to work much,if any,better than their regular brush. My God!!! You would not believe the amount of hair that came off of them! Even if you don't think your cat (or cats) would like to be brushed there is something about this product that seems to make all cats enjoy the experience,I think it is because it gets the undercoat out and that must feel really good to the cat because mine were instantly in love with it...and just think there might be a light at the end of the hair tunnel after all! The prices vary and they are fairly expensive,but in my opinion,it is money well spent!

Finnish Fling

Since the year 2000 a World Mobile (cell) Phone Throwing Championship has been held in Finland. The first organizer was Fennolingua,a translation and interpretation company along with Nokia (the cell phone manufacturer)  pairing up to make a fun recycling event. Cell phones and their batteries are terribly toxic if not recycled properly. There are four categories for the sport:Traditional (thrown from an over the shoulder style) best distance out of three throws,Freestyle where the creativity of the throw is awarded points,Team original,groups of three people combine their scores,and Junior for children aged twelve and under. In 2004 Norway held the first National competition and since then several other European countries have staged their own events. In 2008 the US had its first cell phone throwing competition in Massachusetts. I am sure it will soon be available in most states,so if you would like one last fling with your cell phone hold on,your day will come!

Not Just Another Pretty

I bet you thought I was going to end that title with face! Ha! you lose. I was screaming at a contestant on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" earlier today because she didn't know that amethyst was thought to prevent drunkenness. The reason I happen to know that little tidbit is I purchased an amethyst ring in the Cayman Islands and found out at some point that it was supposed to prevent drunkenness,though that is not the reason I bought the ring...and no,it doesn't work! I started thinking about other gems and if they were thought to have healing properties and of course there are many and the list is long,so I will limit today's post to the supposed uses for amethyst. These uses include: letting go of limiting attachments,opening to higher state of consciousness,strengthening and clarifying intuition,opening your inner source of wisdom and gaining clarity about your true nature or purpose. There are many variations not only of the gem itself but of how to use it to gain whatever it is you wish to gain,so maybe just being in possession of a ring isn't enough to reap the rewards!

Freud's Slips

Fair warning to any perfectionists,the quotes used today will not all qualify as Freudian slips,but they are funny. Also known as parapraxis a Freudian slip is and error in speech,memory,or action due to interference of the subconscious.

Belly Bully

A 58 year old man in Belfast,Ireland was found guilty of belly bouncing his elderly neighbor lady. He claimed she was sticking her nose into his business while he was talking to a motorist in front of his home so he bounced her away with his considerable belly. The woman fell backward injuring her tailbone. The man was also found guilty of a series of other offenses including,assaults on two women,being found on the premises of and elderly lady for unlawful purpose (property damage) and assaults on police officers. The man was sentenced to eight months in jail for the belly assaults and lesser terms for the other offenses,plus $1,495 compensation for the assaults and $434 for property damages. I think the bully got off easy!

Stoned or Stupid

A 24 year old man robbed a convenience store in England with 12 inch knife,not that unusual of a happening so far,but how about this for a twist on the armed robbery scenario? How about if the robber just happened to pick the store where his ex-mother-in-law was working? You would think he would have realized it was a bad idea and went to a different location,but no one ever accused criminals of being particularly clever,at least not this one. The 54 year old woman recognized him by his voice and the way he walked right away even though he pulled a scarf around his face and covered his head with a hoodie.  He got away with 650 pounds (around $971 US) but was quickly arrested. His lawyer explained he was addicted to heroin and was only trying to finance his habit...like that makes it okay?

Suit Yourself

Following yesterday's post with today's subject may cause a person to not only scratch their head,but also to lose any doubt they might have on whether or not the world is running amok. Today's offering deals with a woman in Utah who is suing herself for negligence in the death of her husband. She was driving through the desert when she hit a sagebrush and flipped their Range Rover. My first problem with this is how could hitting a sagebrush cause a rig to flip?? Maybe they have grown in size since I last seen one? But,I digress. Her husband was thrown from the vehicle and as a result died. I don't know about everyone else,but I smell a rat...seems pretty convenient for her husband not to be wearing a seat belt when she flips the rig after hitting a sagebrush. Again,I digress. If she succeeds with the suit and the insurance company is forced to pay the estate for her negligence it seems only fitting that she should serve time for wrongful death,but for some reason that small detail isn't mentioned.

Daycare??

You know that feeling when you read about something that you are sure is a joke, then  you find out it isn't a joke? Kind of scary stuff, as is today's subject. In Liverpool,England there is an adult baby nursery,and I'm not talking about for people with disabilities. "Normal" non-disabled (I just can't bring myself to use the word healthy) adults pay around $115 an hour to be treated like a baby,though diaper changes cost $40 extra. The couple started their business because the husband enjoyed being treated like a baby and thought there must be other people who wanted to escape the pressures of adult life for a simpler time,plus the wife enjoys caring for the customers which includes reading stories,eating in adult sized high chairs,napping in adult sized cribs,and diaper changes if requested. They insist there is no sexual contact and it is simply an alternative lifestyle. Different strokes,for different folks!

Curmudgeonly

Sometimes I'm not sure if I am just getting old and crabby or if there really is something to be irritated about. Some of the things that have bothered me recently are the so called "life hacks". I still enjoy learning new things and am open to trying different ways of doing things,but every one of the hacks I have tried failed to impress me. I was excited to see the one about using a can opener to get into the clam shell type packaging...until the can opener refused to cut more than an inch at a time before slipping off the narrow and flexible plastic lip. Next I tried shaking garlic cloves in a jar,the idea was they would peel themselves,what really happened was a few of the papery parts fell off then proceeded to stick to jar and once the jar was open me and everything else because garlic juice had heightened their already tenacious tendency to stick to things. Then I saw the one about using a can of oil packed tuna to make a candle and just scratched my head. In an emergency you are going to happen to have a can of tuna,scissors to cut just the right size of toilet paper and a knife? and even if you did happen to have those items I find it hard to believe that a third of a sheet of toilet paper is going to burn for 4 hours,needless to say I won't be trying that hack! Like any good magic trick I suppose these hacks could be mastered and work as advertised,but who wants to devote that kind of time when most people already have their own solutions that work for them?

Mother of the Year?

I tried to not add my opinion on this,but it has been on my mind since I heard about it yesterday,so rather than minding my own business and forgetting about someone else's business I will post it here and go on with life. I am talking about the 65 year old teacher in Germany who is pregnant with quadruplets. It was no accidental pregnancy as she used donated eggs that were fertilized abroad,never mind it took multiple tries. The reason she stated for wanting to get pregnant after already having 13 children?? Her youngest (9 years old) wanted a younger sibling! Hey! I've got a great idea!!! You could adopt a child or get a pet,but seriously getting pregnant at age 65 is ill advised and with quadruplets it only multiplies the risks. Never mind she could always tell the girl NO. So now she is nearing retirement and having babies at the same time. Did she not think of what would happen if she died as result of this pregnancy? Couldn't the 9 year old enjoy playing with her mother's 7 grandchildren? Okay,off my soapbox...the rant is officially over!

Burger Buffs Beware!

Most people are aware that burgers and fast food in general are not healthy diet choices,but what about environmentally? Charbroiled burgers (yum!) are responsible for more pollution that an 18 wheeler or a factory smoke stack. Emissions from commercial charbroilers are a significant source of uncontrolled particulate matter. An 18 wheeler diesel rig would have to drive 143 miles to emit the same mass of particles as a single charbroiled patty (never mind what a double patty serving would do!). The good news is something can be done about it,an air scrubbing system can take care of most of the problem,of course there are currently no regulations in place requiring fast food restaurants to install a scrubber and if it takes as long as most laws to be passed and applied it will be many years before this pollution source is made to comply with clean air laws. 

Wonder Who

I know I did a post way back on Wonder Woman's creator,William Marston,who also created the lie detector, and how that in turn connected Wonder Woman's magic lasso that forced people to tell the truth. I recently discovered more about Wonder Woman's background that unless I've slipped a cog was new information to me. Marston was a psychologist who had a wife and mistress. He fathered children with both women and they all secretly lived together (in the early 1940s). The new piece of information is Wonder Woman was inspired by Marston's mistress's aunt,Margaret Sanger,the birth control and women's rights activist. This information both explains some parts of the Wonder Woman character to me,but at the same time leaves more questions.

Distant Relationships

Octopuses are strange and fascinating creatures,in addition to being smart enough to open jars and manipulate a Rubik's cube,they also have other varied and unique traits. They are very antisocial and live alone in spaces they seemingly melt into. Their bodies are squishy except for their brain sac which is about the same size as their eye, allowing them to funnel into their tiny dwellings. Sex is often fatal for the males as the females are larger and often will strangle the male and drag them back to their lair to snack on for the next few days. Some of the 300 different species have developed strategies to avoid the sexual cannibalism and instead of a direct mating with their sex arm they have a penis that can detach from them and attach to the female,while others will stay in their own den and send the mating tentacle into the nearby den of a female to avoid direct contact,still others disguise themselves to appear to be female in what I think of as a sneak sex ploy. Did I mention they can also change their colors as quickly as a TV?