Flight Mare

It seems a bit peculiar to me how a man on a Frontier Airlines flight from Colorado to S.Carolina could get drunk enough to start groping nearby female passengers,then later urinating on the seat in front of him. If the man was noticeably drunk before the flight he shouldn't have been allowed to board and since there are only a limited number of people in control of the beverages once the flight takes off it should be easy enough to monitor his alcohol consumption. With those thoughts in mind I think the airline got off cheap by only having to hand out one voucher for $200,oh and the man was arrested at their destination for interfering with a flight crew (felony) and indecent exposure. Apparently the first woman he groped didn't want to press charges.

At Your Own Risk

Who knew another rule for Florida's public pools would be needed as there is an extensive list already on the books,but hey,it is Florida after all. A woman was caught on video, as anything weird is these days, shaving her legs while sitting on the edge of a pool with children in the water nearby. My only comment is it could have been worse if she cut herself but continued with her hygiene ritual without regard to other pool users,that or she could have been shaving another area, and don't blame me for that visual,the woman was the one who started it!

Twofer

I will start today by reiterating the fact that I'm not a fashion expert,however even those of us with a feeble sense of fashion can surely see that Belenciaga's latest fashion reveal is not worth $1,245,in fact I can't imagine them giving this away. They call it the T-shirt shirt and from the looks of it it is nothing more than a t-shirt with a button down shirt sewn or otherwise attached to the front of the t-shirt,though their site claims two wearing options...I'm still trying to process it being worn at all,let alone an either or option. This is the same company who offered what looked exactly like an IKEA shopping bag (99 cents) for a mere $2,145 last year. Come on people don't be suckers,these people don't care about their products they only care about taking your money and making you look foolish in the process.

Which Would Reagan Choose?

Former President Ronald Reagan started eating Jelly Belly jelly beans when he was running for governor of California and was quitting smoking,as it turned out he gave up one addiction for another. His favorite flavor was licorice. Fast forward to 2008 when Jelly Belly was asked to come up with awful flavors to pair with the Harry Potter movies and Reagan's favorite (licorice) became paired with skunk spray. There is also a game called Bean Boozled where players spin a spinner and have to eat whatever flavors they land on without knowing if they are getting a regular bean or a barf flavored one. Here is a list of some of the look alike pairings:

• Canned Dog Food –
• Chocolate Pudding
• Skunk Spray –
• Licorice
• Rotten Egg –
• Buttered Popcorn
• Centipede –
• Strawberry Jam
• Booger –
• Juicy Pear
• Baby Wipes –
• Coconut
• Barf –
• Peach
• Moldy Cheese –
• Caramel Corn
• Pencil Shavings –
• Top Banana
• Toothpaste –
• Berry Blue  
• The barf flavored bean was an accident made years before the other disgusting flavors when they were trying to develop a cheese pizza jelly bean. Another interesting aside is it takes 10-14 days to make a jelly bean...at that rate you would expect the price to be prohibitive,oh well,I've never really cared for jelly beans. 

Is Nothing Sacred?

I'm a firm believer in science though there is also a place for mystery and myth which is why I don't think I want to know if Nessie (of Loch Ness Monster fame) is real or not. A New Zealand scientist is traveling to Scotland in about a month to collect around 300 samples of water from different locations on the lake and then send them off to four different labs to have the DNA analysed. They will be able to tell exactly what does and does not live in the area from the scales and other trace debris left in the water by its inhabitants. If we lose Nessie to science who will be next,Bigfoot?

Royally Screwed

Cashing in on the royal wedding is apparently a no holds barred affair as there are even Royal Wedding condoms for those wishing to consummate the wedding on a more personal level.  Oddly enough they are cheap,at least price wise, let's hope that doesn't apply to the quality as well or there could be commemorative babies/disease in the coming years. They are called Crown Jewels and when the package is opened it plays "God Save the Queen" and "The Star Spangled Banner". They are described as 'Artisan style sheaths,tailored to a regal fit and drizzled with lube,promise discerning love makers a royal union of pleasure and style.' All righty then,carry on!

Safe Socks

I'm not sure what to make of this but a pair of dirty socks in a plastic baggie have been reported in the White House press briefing room. Not a big deal at first glance though the first sighting was May 17th and they were still there as of today though they have been spotted in different locations in the room. My thought is doesn't anyone clean that room? and if abandoned socks in a baggie were found in an airport you could safely bet that operations would be shut down until an appropriate team was called to remove the hazardous items,so what gives? I know the current administration is less that press friendly so they would not be too concerned about their safety and in turn I guess they don't feel like anyone on the press briefing team is indispensable. More weirdness.

No Sharp Objects

Travel gets more confusing with more restrictions every time I choose to fly. The new restriction (at least when leaving Maui) was to remove any consumables from your carry on luggage and put them in a bin,though they didn't seem overly concerned about toiletries as they used to be so apparently there are some rogue crackers they intend to intercept before they can do damage,but hey,at least it made the lines longer. They have also stepped up their game on the foods offered in flight to include packaging that can't be penetrated without either a sharp object or some kind of blast,both of which are prohibited. Then there is the way they announce that you cannot consume your own alcohol in flight which if taken literally would mean even if you bought their alcoholic beverages you wouldn't be able to drink them because they would then be "your" alcohol. It may seem like I'm unhappy with my recent trip,but that isn't the least bit true I just find it amusing that they don't seem to think through some of their business plans.

Points to Ponder

Since I will be taking the next week or so off I thought I would leave you with an assignment,should you be willing to accept one. First on my list is why does everyone always descend into madness? I'm sure there are people out there who could easily ascend into madness though it might be difficult to tell the difference. Next up for your attention since the amount of the pigment melanin determines the color of your skin and hair and when your skin is exposed to sun it darkens,shouldn't your white/gray hair get darker in the sun too? This last one may be the most troubling of all,at least to me. Why do my jeans always wear out on the left thigh? and no,I'm not left handed.

Quiz Kids

I found some quizzes where the expected responses weren't the only correct answers,in fact some of these kids came up with better answers than what was expected. I only hope the teachers didn't grade them to severely since basically their questions left room for invention.

I saved my favorite for the end! 

Quotes For the Occasion

"When your mother asks,'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." Erma Bombeck
"My mother loved children-she would have given anything if I had been one." Grocho Marx
"Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease." Lisa Alther
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." Calvin Trillin
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." Phyllis Diller
"My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million,you don't get any attention." Woody Allen




Happy Mother's Day all you Mothers! 

Nail Biter

Once again today's post is out of my area of expertise as it roughly comes under the heading of fashion. Though I don't personally see any reason to have fake nails painted in interesting designs I often enjoy some of the more whimsical ones I've seen which no doubt warrant the amount spent as they are quite artistic. Though that isn't the case with the nails/teeth I found to include as today's topic in fact if anything they border on the creepy and never mind with all the layers of acrylic applied to make the nails look like teeth they would have to make normal activities cumbersome at best.