Many jobs became obsolete over the centuries as they were replaced by modern means. One of those jobs was a linkboy. The purpose of a linkboy was to hold a torch to light the way for patrons who were bar hopping since there were no street lights in those days. Linkboys were also likely to be the origin of the phrase,"couldn't hold a candle to" since they were mainly young low class males not holding a candle to them was the ultimate insult.
I'm thinking the person in charge of editing advertising material for Volkswagen was asleep at the wheel to let this get by,then again maybe it was purposeful for reasons unknown to the masses. Giving a whole new meaning to junk in the trunk the Italian (Italia) division of Volkswagen launched their Instagram handle which readers were quick to point out could be interpreted in a way they probably didn't intend,the name they chose was @volkswagenitalia which could be read as "volkswa genitalia" either way it was meant it was good for a laugh.
Though several countries speak English as at least one of their official languages that doesn't mean that they understand Americanisms, plus most have their own spin on what things are called. Americans call their athletic shoes sneakers or tennis shoes but in Canada they're runners while the Brits call them trainers. Americans calls the prenuptial parties bachelor/bachelorette while other English speaking countries use stag/stagette or hen and buck. Freshman/sophomore,junior/senior are only used in the US even though the naming of the levels was started in England. Not surprisingly using John Hancock to refer to a signature is also an Americanism. After you adjust the differences in word usage all you have to do is wrap your brain around the different accents and you're home free!
While wandering the web earlier I happened upon an article that still has me puzzled/laughing. Benefit/Benetint,a company who makes lip/cheek coloring revealed that the initial use for their product was neither for the lips nor the cheeks but a nipple stain for strippers and exotic dancers. No big deal,right? Wrong,the customers went crazy swearing to never buy the brand again and on and on. What possible difference could it make? It's still made of the same stuff which is safe to use and many things used today for whatever purpose weren't originally designed for that purpose,so what's up with that? Are people just looking for things to go all Karen over? and who knew strippers used nipple stain?
With the big shopping weekend underway I figured it would be a good time to present some lesser known items to fill those shopping gaps,not that I get anything out of it other than the fun factor. Since the choices are many there will probably be a couple of follow up posts for your consideration.
A group of five turkeys are holding a neighborhood in New England hostage. They are often found in one woman's yard where Kevin,the instigator of the group incites the girls Gladys,Ester,Monica and Patricia to chase people and their cars. Of course this isn't typical behavior for most wild birds as a turkey expert explained, this is brought on when the birds become too familiar with humans when they are being fed by them and having lost their normal caution they become demanding. It could be worse like around here when people feed the deer and they lose their fear both of humans and cars,not to mention the extra food causing twin births until the area can no longer support that amount of wildlife so they are either left to starve or mother nature brings a disease to control the population. Oh,and the bread everyone thinks is a good thing to feed both birds and deer? Nope,it is too processed for their systems and causes them to become full and not seek out more nourishing foods,it's called wasting disease.
The turkey federation has gifted turkeys to presidents since 1947 but not many of those birds became dinners. As far back as Lincoln turkeys have been saved from the ax,in the case of Lincoln it was his son Tad who begged for the turkey's life. Fast forward to Thanksgiving 1963 when the first turkey on record received a reprieve when JFK said of the 40 lb bird,"We'll just let this one grow" though that didn't count as the first official pardon. It wasn't until 1989 when George H.W. Bush presented the first bird with a presidential pardon and the tradition was born.
Apparently Heinz has more products in Europe than we see here on the west coast of the U.S. A couple of days ago I presented their fairly new Christmas Dinner in a can under production for the second year. Heinz also offers an assortment of frozen foods abroad. They recently resurrected a baked bean frozen pizza that had been discontinued in the 90s. When it comes to pizza most folks are opinionated about what should be used for toppings,then there's the rest of us who will try anything if it's on a pizza. Some of the other items they are bringing back out include: Heinz Beanz Burgerz,Heinz Beanz Bowls,and Heinz Beanz Filled Hash Browns.
A 36 year old man living in London is into biohacking in his desire to live forever although his methods don't seem too sound. He gets up between 4-5 a.m. meditates then heads for the gym. 5 days a week he eats between 1,500-1,800 calories per day between 6-9 p.m. then fasts the remaining 2 days. He takes 60 supplements a day,does red light therapy 45 minutes a day,uses cryotherapy (sitting in a freezing cold tank),takes ice baths and has colon hydrotherapy every 6 months. In case you hadn't caught on yet this guy is an egomaniac who thought the last 20 years his parents were alive were miserable because all they could do was take care of each other,then went on to say there's nothing sadder than having to carry your parent upstairs and give them a sponge bath. If anyone deserves the ravages of old age this guy would be near the top of my list.
Heinz is offering Christmas dinner in a can which is weird enough but the ingredients are really out there. The "classic" version contains:turkey breast,potatoes,carrots,sprouts,parsnips,cranberry sauce,pigs in a blanket,sage and onion stuffing balls. In keeping with the inclusion policy they are also offering a vegan version containing:gravy flavored sauce,a variety of vegetables,vegan sausage and stuffing balls. Last year they only made 500 cans and sold out so they've increased the amount to 20,000 this year. I would try this out of curiosity but can't imagine those flavors premixed together.
With advances in technology,science and several other fields coining new words is to be expected and to the delight of Scrabble players a new "Official Scrabble Players Dictionary"was recently released with 500 new words. Some of these are self explanatory like Fauxhawk,a haircut similar to a Mohawk,then there are others that are totally lost on me,atted?doxxed?fintech?grawlix?but most of the new offerings are fairly common. My favorite new word is eggcorn meaning a misheard word,or slip of the ear. My least favorite is adorbs,not sure why but that word gets on my last nerve.
Time for some quotes on classical music. These may or may not express how I feel so enjoy them for the laugh factor instead of getting too serious.
"Art is long and life is short:here is evidently the explanation of a Brahms symphony." Edward Lorne
"Why is it that whenever I hear a piece of music I don't like,it's always by Villa-Lobos?" Igor Stravinsky
"Never look at the trombones,it only encourages them."Richard Strauss
"There are two golden rules for an orchestra;start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between." Sir Thomas Beecham
"The public doesn't want new music;the main thing it demands of a composer is that he be dead." Arthur Honegger
