At Home Botox?

 This is so crazy it makes a person wonder what lengths people will go to in order garner online fans and internet stardom. A 25 year old Russian man decided to try injecting petroleum jelly into his arms to pump/plump them up. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize petroleum jelly was not made to be injected,in fact I wonder how it was possible,I'm guessing it has to be warmed up but don't want to give it any more thought than that. Needless to say he started having problems and sought medical attention. The doctors had to go in and remove the hardened jelly but they can only do one arm at a time since it is extensive surgery plus they don't know if the veins that were blocked will be able to recover or if they will need to amputate his arms in the future. Craziness prevails. 

Heartless?

 Are you thinking of Heart's Heartless song? That's the one I thought of though there are others with the same title which doesn't seem right but that's a topic for another day. Today's post should be filed under learn something new,at least it was new to me. Earthworms have either five hearts or none depending on how heart is defined. They have five aortic arches that circulate their blood technically they aren't hearts but serve the same purpose. Most of us know earthworms are also hermaphrodites having both male and female organs. We were also told that if you cut an earthworm in two that it made two new worms,that is not true,the section with the head may survive and regrow the severed part but the tail end can't regenerate a head so it dies. Who knew earthworms were so interesting? 

On the Scent

 You're probably wondering at this point what's up with all the posts about smells this month,the answer is I have no idea,every path seems to lead to a new scent but it'll be okay since the month is nearly over. Today's stinker actually happened in October but I apparently missed it that time around. Arby's of roast beef fame was offering smoked meat scented sweatsuits. As merchandising goes this smells considerably better than say the french fry scent on offer earlier this month not to mention yesterday's post on smelling your dog's poop,but still begs the question why someone would want to smell like fast food. Oh,and the "cleaning" instructions for the sweats were to wash in cold water and hang over a hickory wood fire. If a person did want to smell like smoked meat wouldn't it be easier/cheaper to just stand by a BBQ? 

Smell You Later

 Would you smell your dog's poop for a couple of months for over $6,000? A plant based pet food company in Britain is looking for a dog owner to switch their pet's diet for 2 months and keep track of their digestion,poop smell,coat condition and general health. Customers have been reporting to Omni on the positive changes with their dogs since they began feeding the plant based food so Omni is looking to confirm these reports by having an individual keep close track of any changes for a 2 month period. The animal with be examined by a vet both before and after the 2 month trial. If you're interested you'll need to fill out an application by March 31. 

You're $hitting Me

 Has anyone else ever lived near a chicken farm? If so you know how badly they smell and will understand the method to the madness behind Thailand's Chicken Poop Prison will leave you aghast. Built in 1893 from red brick Khuk Khi Kai measures 14 feet long and 23 feet high with slit like windows. Prisoners were locked on the ground floor underneath several tiers of chicken coups so that the feces rained down on them continuously. Not only did it making breathing difficult the ammonia in the poop once it enters the system mixes with the bodies natural water causing many other adverse reactions. Even though this horror cannot be verified there is another chicken poop torture that happened more recently. In 2013 city workers in British Columbia dumped a truckload of chicken poop on a homeless encampment in an attempt to get them to move along. 

Grimm Tale

 Fairy tales are familiar to most everyone to the point where certain ones are referenced to describe situations that would otherwise take a more extensive explanation,and of course many have been made into movies but the selection of tales by the Grimm Brothers weren't actually written by the brothers. They instead spent years interviewing family and friends collecting stories passed down orally for thousands of years. Originally the stories were not meant for children as they contained violent and sexual content but over the years as more people became literate the stories were edited so they could be enjoyed by everyone. 

Twofer

 Twosday on a Tuesday is getting a lot of attention but does it really mean anything? The short answer in no,it is a product of human brains evolving from reading signs like paw prints to determine whether you are hunting or being hunted or noticing the changes in daylight to know when to plant crops. The term apophenia describes the phenomena of trying to make connection or meaning out of unrelated items and was originally coined to characterize a symptom of schizophrenia. 

Cue the Spooky Music

A six year old rescue Greyhound has a new occupation,ghost hunting. His new owners had no idea when they adopted Bond that he would become an asset to their paranormal investigations but Bond turns out to be a self taught investigator. The couple were surprised the first time they had him on an investigation at an old prison when he took off like a shot,they followed him to a cell where they found him growling,then he started choking so they took him outside and were preparing to take him to a vet when he recovered as quickly as the choking started. They later found out two prisoners had hung themselves in that cell. Bond is never forced to work since he already retired from one job and sometimes he just lies in his bed while his owners go about their business but when he does help out he proves he really has a nose for the job. 

Butt of the Joke

 Though I've never understood the fascination with celebrities I know I'm in the minority when it comes to that,but when does collecting things swing from fanatical to maniacal? I guess that's where stalking laws come into play,though again why would anyone want someone else's garbage? If you're one of those super fans of Michael Jordan then maybe you'd be more than happy to bid on a Olivia V Melanio half smoked cigar that a fan scored out of an ashtray in Phoenix in 2021. Bidding starts at $500. It's a little surprising to me to find out any renown athlete smokes. 

Birth Control?

 Today's post could easily be filed under learn something new or several other subjects for that matter. A Colorado woman has a rare ( one in 40,000 people) condition making her allergic to sex,or rather the protein in sperm. Even the smallest amount of sperm in her vagina causes burning and what she describes as feeling like thousands of acupuncture needles,it can cause severe reaction on her face also. She was paralyzed on one side of her face for 3 hours after trying oral sex. Condoms are the only way she can comfortably have sex plus additional exposure to sperm could cause anaphylaxis like any severe allergic reaction. I can't help but wonder what would happen if she accidentally conceived? 

The Point of Pointys

 Aka Winklepicker,aka Poulaine's,aka Crakows,the pointy toed shoes of the medieval era were favored by nobility for around 150 years. Measuring anywhere from 4-20 inches long they were a status symbol much like yachts and private jets are today as only the wealthy could afford to walk around in such impractical footwear. In case you hadn't guessed,the longer the toe the more wealthy the wearer because it showed they led a life of leisure since they couldn't possibly work with all that extra shoe in front of them,in fact they often tied the toes to their clothing with gold or silver chains to keep from tripping. Instead of going out of style there were eventually laws written in the 14 hundreds limiting the length of the toes to no more than 2 inches. 

Regressing?

 In the Victorian era people romanticized the physical effects of tuberculosis to the extent that some people hoped they would get sick so they could become pale with flushed cheeks,and thin waists. They didn't have to try very hard to be infected as little was known about avoiding the disease plus the poverty of the era added to the spread. Now let's fast forward to the pandemic we are currently hoping to end. Are the anti-vaxxers wanting to become sick so they can be somehow martyred? or is it maybe a twist on Munchhausen?  It's no easier to understand their refusal to comply with CDC suggestions to protect themselves and their loved ones today than it was in the beginning so did they mentally go back in time and ignore the progress science has made since Victorian days? Their rights? What about the rest of us?

Guilty

 Surely everyone has been tempted to write a sarcastic/funny comment on checks especially when the check happens to be a small loan to a friend. My favorite was a variation of For: services rendered or sexual favors but who knew the bank actually paid attention? One man found out the hard way when his bank contacted him with a warning.

They also share records with lending firms who may be inclined to turn down your loan requests if you've ever filled out the For portion of a check with things like "coke bender" or "strip clubs". I'm kind of embarrassed even though that was years ago. 

Toony Tunes

 It's been awhile since I did any quotes so I found some music related ones for your enjoyment. 

I always thought music was more important than sex. Then I thought,if I don't hear a concert for a year and a half it doesn't bother me. Jackie Mason 

I hate music,especially when it's played. Jimmy Durante 

Every bad situation is a blues song waiting to happen. Amy Winehouse 

I understand that the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant,asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately,the man-made sound never quite equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig. Alfred Hitchcock

 The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof. Sir Thomas Beecham 

I decided not to pursue a career as a professional musician because there's one sentence that has never been uttered:"Look! It's the banjo player's Porsche!" Steve Martin