Multi-tasking

The cultural diversity coordinator (remember that title!) at a Denver,CO college was recently suspended (with paid administrative leave) for operating a phone sex business Monday-Friday,7:30 a.m. until late at night (in other words while she was at work at the school). During the course of the investigation it was discovered that she ran a website featuring nude photos,soft porn videos and the phone number to talk to her for $1.49 a minute. Her pay at the University is $68,000 a year so I am guessing she wasn't "strapped" for cash (pun intended). Apparently the school takes cultural diversity seriously as she was reinstated at the conclusion of the investigation.

A Pig With a Program

This pig should be an inspiration to everyone,a little thing like not having use of his hind legs hasn't put a dent in his lifestyle. When he was still small he would walk with his weight balanced on his front legs,but as he grew that would no longer be physically possible. Chris P. Bacon (the pig) was adopted by a veterinarian and fitted for a harness and wheels to keep him mobile. Pigs that aren't raised with fellow pigs often take on the traits of the animals around them,in Chris P.'s case that would be humans,not only is he very humanlike he also has no idea he is handicapped. Chris P. donates his time to fundraisers and nonprofit events for disabled children. One can only admire the spirit of this special animal.

No Just Another Stench

As you long time readers may recall I am not fond of artificial fragrances,they tend to make me choke plus once they get into your nose you can't smell or taste anything except their obnoxious smell. Don't be upset by the information presented in today's blog as there are solutions that don't involve toxic substances. I am talking about dryer sheets and liquid fabric softeners,even the unscented products contain toxic chemicals. Reading the labels of these products doesn't help much unless you're a chemist and no laws are in place requiring the various chemicals to be listed. The chemicals used are neurotoxins and are absorbed through your skin over time causing symptoms including: headaches,depression,nausea,vomiting,dizziness,convulsions,confusion,dementia and in severe cases death. Okay,now for the solutions I promised...the most simple is a couple of wadded up balls of aluminium foil,also I read felted wool dryer balls,either one works as well without the smell or the dangers of the chemical softeners and static reducers. "Live long and prosper"!

Vortex Avoided

I had a doctor appointment earlier today and it seems as though I may have avoided the medical vortex that usually occurs at a doctor appointment,you know what I mean suddenly they are signing you up for blood tests and x-rays and just about anything they can think of signing you up for. At the risk of jinxing myself and ending up with further appointments,I just told the doctor if the change in medication wasn't successful I would be in touch,I hope that is all I need! Since I had to spend time in the doctor's office I thought I would share some quotes I came across about doctors.
Doctors are the same as lawyers,the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you,whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn't pay the bill,he gave me six months more.
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office.
I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up,but it wouldn't make any difference.

Not Task Oriented

In the past I posted a blog about the CIA (in the 1960s) implanting a microphone and transmitter on a cat for spying purposes,after spending $20 million on the project the cat (female) was hit by a taxicab on the way to her first assignment. I am not implying that cats are untrainable or stupid,cats are simply tuned in to their own needs and desires. I was recently surprised again when I read about a Belgian village in the 1870s training 37 cats to deliver the mail. The plan was to wrap waterproof mailbags around their necks...do I need to mention it didn't work? If it were my cats the first thing they would do is ditch the mailbag,followed by some form of entertainment,then they would find a nice spot to curl up and nap...later in the day they would meander home in search of a meal and another nap. I can't say that I have ever met a cat that didn't seem like it had been born into a Cat Union where the first rule was "will not work as directed"!

Pat the Butt

Sorry,I couldn't resist a title pun for today's post,and now I am tempted to say this post cracks me up,but in the interest of keeping things on a somewhat tasteful level I will cease and desist or at least that is my intention. Patrick (Pat) the butt is a virtual patient developed for medical students to practice prostate exams on. Patrick is equipped with force sensors that measure how much pressure is being used. Patrick also provides interaction with the students allowing them to work on their bedside manner. An earlier model robotic butt had the ability to clench up if the probing became too distressful. I know this is a wonderful medical tool but I can't help but see the humorous side of this invention.

Another Red Berry

An interesting little berry known as miracle fruit contains a protein called miraculin,when the small berry is consumed it coats the tongue and temporarily rewires the sweet receptors to make acidic foods taste sweet. The berry itself tastes somewhat like a cranberry and the effect on the taste buds last about an hour. It could have potential use for diabetics and those who want to lose weight but have trouble sticking to their diets. One country having success using the miracle fruit is Japan where it is being featured in cafes. It isn't illegal in the US and can be purchased for about $2 per berry,it can also be legally grown,but the FDA doesn't recognize it as a food. In big cities flavor tripping parties are the rage,the guests eat the berry then taste foods like lemons,cheese and vinegar.

A Different Approach

I usually find that Europe is way ahead of the US in many ways,health treatments are the first thing that comes to mind and I will just stay with that one for today as it most closely applies to today's subject. When I first read about Amsterdam giving alcoholics beer to pick up trash I wasn't sure how that was helping them,but as you will see it isn't quite as crazy as it sounds. After trying punishments and various other ways of dealing with the alcoholics it was decided to try a work for beer program that was first used in Canada. Amsterdam has traditionally shunned zero tolerance in response to addictions. The way the program works is the alcoholics wanting work sign up on a waiting list,once they get on a crew to pick up trash they receive two beers before beginning work,two for lunchtime and two more at the end of their shift. The also get a half packet of rolling tobacco,free lunch and about $13.55 (10 euros) a day. The program is successful in keeping them out of public areas and gives them a purpose in life instead of being herded by the authorities from one area to another throughout the day. Oh,they are not allowed to drink while they are working,only at break times.

Meow

First let me go on the record as saying I have nothing against police officers,but (you knew there was going to be a but!) often either their ego gets the better of them or they got into the job under the radar of their interviewers. I most often see the swaggering,chest puffed out type of officer rather than the type that assumes the role of a fellow human being,to protect and serve as it were. At any rate unions in this country would protect recalcitrant offenders from the discipline being administered in Thailand. Unbecoming behavior was a real problem in Thailand and warnings were no longer working. The misbehaving officers are being forced to wear Hello Kitty armbands along with a pair of linked hearts as a deterrent. The idea is to shame them,hoping to prevent repeat offenses. The officers are not allowed to disclose their offense,leaving people to speculate on their wrongdoing.

Feeling Squirrely

When I read about an animal control officer playing the piano to get a squirrel out of it I thought it was an odd approach,but maybe not. The officer was called to a woman's home to remove a squirrel. The squirrel was sitting on a window ledge when he got there,but quickly jumped into an open baby grand piano. The officer sat down and played a piece until the squirrel jumped out and climbed the curtains (maybe it didn't like that tune?). The officer went to the curtains to attempt a capture but was eluded again when the squirrel jumped to the sofa. It got easier after that as the squirrel climbed onto the officer's head...neither party was harmed.
It seems like I read about another incident involving a squirrel in an attic who was lured out with piano playing,but as luck would have it I haven't been able to find that story...again did it like the music or not? Only the squirrel knows the answer.
In an unrelated squirrel story a retired postal worker saved some baby squirrels that fell out of their nest,but after they were grown they still depended on her for feeding. She decided to have fun with them and got out some old Barbie toys, some of the results are seen below.

Eric and a Fish Called Wanda

In 1987 an opal miner in Coober Pedy,Australia uncovered an opalised fossil of a pliosaur. A fossil is a rare find but finding a fossil preserved in opal with its iridescent sheen is rarer still. The miner wasn't sure what the nearly complete fossil was worth ($230,000) but the opal content was estimated at $25,000. The fossil was eventually sold to an Australian businessman who then acquired services of an archaeologist who named the dinosaur Eric. During the reconstruction of Eric an opalised fish was found inside of Eric's stomach and keeping with the theme was named Wanda. A few years later Eric's owner found himself in financial difficulties and Eric was going to be auctioned off. Luckily a science television series championed the cause and along with Australian school children raised enough money to purchase Eric. Eric is now on permanent display at the Australian Museum...I'm not sure what happened to Wanda.

Chew On This

I don't really remember if the Tooth Fairy was a tradition practiced in my family. I imagine it might have been something done for the first few teeth and I have forgotten about it over the years. The Tooth Fairy has never seemed believable to me,it had even less credibility than Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny,until I read about the Tooth Fairy traditions in other countries. In most Spanish speaking countries (also Italy and France) the Tooth Fairy is a mouse,not only do I find it easier to accept a mouse creeping into a childs room and absconding with a tooth,but it also a nice coincidence that rodent teeth never stop growing. In the Middle East when a child loses a tooth they toss it into the sky and request a better tooth to replace it. In some Asian countries they throw the tooth from the upper jaw onto a roof,the lower jaw onto the floor asking for the newly lost tooth to be replaced with the tooth of a mouse. From what I found most of the traditions originated from a story about a white mouse that gathered lost teeth,no idea how that morphed into a fairy in our country.

Talking Turkey

Sometimes I enjoy sharing the origins of nursery rhymes,sayings or in this case a word. Gobbledygook is a rare word in that it can be connected to the actual date it was coined and the original speaker. A Texas lawyer who was also at times a Congressman and Mayor of San Antonio first used the word on May 21,1944 while complaining about the obscure language used by his colleagues. His inspiration for the word was the turkey,"always gobbledy gobbling and strutting with ludicrous pomposity". It met a clear need for a word to describe unintelligible language,especially legal jargon or bureaucratese. Although I agree with his effort it hasn't seemed to change to outpouring of gobbledygook!

Food Forest

This is one of the best ideas for a city park I have ever heard. I am proud to say a West Coast city (Seattle) was the collective genius behind this vision. The Beacon Food Forest started in 2009,the completed project will be 7 acres and phase one (2 acres) is due to be up and running this year. The intention is to grow free and sustainable food for all,offering fruit trees,walnut trees,berries,herbs and vegetables. The forest will include community garden plots,a teaching area,barbeque spot,and recreational areas. The hope is that people will take what they need,or can eat right away and measures are in place to discourage the greedy. Hopefully other cities will follow suit and devote areas to similar plans.

Scary Smart

You know how young children usually think their parents are smart and know everything? Today's subject is kind of a reversal of that role. A 3 year old boy in London has an IQ of 141 (higher than Obama or Cameron) four points short of genius. He started reading at 10 months,potty trained himself after reading a book on the subject at age 1,by 29 months he was able to spell 100 words,knows his times tables,learned the periodic table,reads Shakespeare,understands Japanese,Spanish and French...did I mention he was invited to join Mensa at 2 years and 5 months? (The youngest British person to join was a girl who joined at 2 years 4 months.) Despite his intelligence he is a happy,athletic,playful little boy. I wonder if he is writing a blog yet?

Exam Time!

Okay,time to test you on what your have learned from reading this blog in the past...Just kidding! It doesn't matter to me one way or another if you learn anything,though it is nice if you did, the main thing is to be entertained and hopefully enjoy my blathering. This morning I had my 6 month dental exam and teeth cleaning,I enjoy the result of the cleaning but am beginning to wonder if I really need to go every 6 months as my teeth don't really seem to need cleaning in that amount of time. My hygienist was nervous and paranoid that I was going to blog about her,I assured her that there wasn't enough common ground to blog about her as most of my readers wouldn't know who she was,however I didn't say I wouldn't blog about the exam itself! About a year ago I did a post on being surprised by the taste of the polish she used as it was birthday cake flavored and I was expecting mint. She has since acquired several other flavors and claims she will one day surprise me again by using one on me that I have told her about,like bacon flavored, whiskey,or maybe dill pickle. Still that is not what I started out to tell you about either,so time to get on with the real subject. Why is it that both hygienists and dentists always wait until they have your mouth wide open and their hands inside working to start a conversation? It isn't like they are just doing a monologue and you aren't required to participate,they actually ask questions. Are you supposed to try to talk with their hands in your mouth? Just a little something I have been wondering about over the years. Who knows? with any luck maybe one of you out there in reader land will have an answer for me!

* Feed Your Head

Serendipity has struck again,or is that redundant? In the last couple of days I have happened upon two different references to dormice being a delicacy. I kept thinking that there wouldn't be much to enjoy due to their small size. They aren't very big (only 5 1/2-7 1/2 inches in body plus their squirrel like tails) but they almost double in weight prior to hibernation. I imagine what meat there is on them is very tasty as they feed mainly on nuts and berries. The ancient Romans (I think I also read the ancient Greeks) enjoyed them as snacks but dormice are still consumed today in Slovenia. As you can see from the photos they are quite cute,but before anyone goes into an animal rights frenzy stop and ask yourself one question...are you a vegetarian?
* Lyrics for Jefferson Airplane song "White Rabbit" (what the dormouse said,feed your head)

Testing,1,2

When I read about a nightclub in Singapore installing urine analyzers in their urinals I immediately thought of several flaws. As I found out more all but two of those problems were addressed. There is no testing available for female patrons,and there is no mention of a filter of any kind. I thought there must be some kind of filter in the device that could become alcohol saturated and give false readings. The way it is set up is very clever. When the patrons enter the club they exchange their car keys for a card,the card and the analyzer (in the urinal) communicate every time the patron uses the bathroom. Once the blood alcohol level is read as above the legal limit a message flashes on a screen above the urinal,if the person ignores the message a second warning is given by the valet at the door and an alternate transportation is suggested. What more could they do...short of handcuffs?

Grow Your Own

Today's blog seems familiar but I don't think I made a previous post about it...at least I hope not! Biocouture was founded in 2003 by Suzanne Lee and has been exploring the use of living cultures to grow biomaterials to be made into apparel. The end product will also (after several years) be biodegradable. There are a couple of ways this is being done,some things are grown on a mold of the finished product or large sheets of material are grown then cut into pieces to be made the way things are currently made using patterns. Instead of using petrochemicals or land needed for growing food, clothing can be grown with zero waste. This is still about 10 years in the future,but it sounds like a viable plan to me.

Does Not Compute

Remember Octomom? I never did understand the logic behind her multiple births unless it was a scheme to solve financial problems. But it gets crazier if you can believe "The Guinness Book of World Records". In Russia in the 1700s (keep the time period in mind) according to village records a woman (no first name recorded,how's that for insulting?) gave birth to 69 children. My first thought was she would be too old to continue having children,and I had already discarded several multiple births as they are rare and in that time I find it doubtful both mother and babies would survive. According to Guinness that is the exact reason for the 69 children,16 pair of twins,7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets. I still remain skeptical as the babies would have been too small to survive without the medical technology that is available today,and again according to the records all but two of these babies survived.

Crime Pays

I can't say where I came across a reference to Office 39 (aka Bureau 39 and Romm 39) but in all likelihood it was in a book. I made a note to take a closer look and what I found out makes the US government seem not nearly as sinister in their many ineptitudes. Office 39 is how North Korea finances whatever deeds they try their hand at,whether nuclear weapons or finery for their leader. Doesn't sound too bad so far,but what has been discovered about the secret agency may change your mind. The methods of raising money include manufacture and export of counterfeit cigarettes,pharmaceuticals,the sale of heroin and crystal methamphetamine and production of counterfeit currency...in short organized crime. The $100 bills that were made there were known as supernotes,their quality was so high they went undetected when passed in Las Vegas slot machines equipped with electronic detection devices,allowing several million dollars worth into circulation. The only nice thing I can think of to end this post is at least their crime is organized!

A Cruel Mother

It is hard not to be shocked and appalled by things that people do,but perhaps the original architect of cruelty is Mother Nature. The designs and purposes of some plants and animals seem to be specifically to eliminate other species. One example is the sheep eating plant. A native of Chile,the plant grows to a height of 10-15 feet and takes 15-20 years to bloom. The base of the plant has razor sharp,hook shaped spines that ensnare sheep,birds and small animals. As the animals slowly starve and decompose they supply the nourishment for the plant. I would like to say they give their life blood,but that wouldn't be entirely accurate as they give their flesh as well. It helps to remain objective about life cycles,but not much!

What Happened to Hare?

For reasons unknown I found myself wondering what happened to the Hare Krishna,in the 1970s they were seen everywhere wearing robes,shaved heads and chanting their mantra. The short answer is they got rich. They were formed in 1965 and at that time were brash and idealistic. The decline of their movement was due to child abuse scandals resulting in money problems. Today they project a gentler side and attract affluent,educated members who drive Mercedes,wear designer clothes and live in opulent homes. They abstain from meat,alcohol,gambling and illicit sex. The new class of members help to counter previous arguments of brainwashing. Their wealth is not seen as a conflict to the simplicity of the movement unless it is misused. The faith instructs the members to keep doing what they are good at. Krishna is an offshoot of Hinduism that worships Krsna,the incarnation of all gods. The movement is meant to teach a higher consciousness through chanting and meditation. Now you know why you don't see them anymore,in case I wasn't the only one wondering.

Poo-Petrators

Today's blog should be filed under additional uses for technology. Apparently dog droppings have become enough of a problem that there is now a business named Poo-Prints. The service is already in 45 states and three countries. The business thrives in apartment/condo living areas where the grounds are common area and even one person not picking up after their dog can quickly create a problem. As part of the pet policy dog owners must provide a DNA swab for their animal which is then sent to a lab and stored in a data base. The DNA kit costs $40 and the price is included in the pet deposit in some rental contracts. The fee for the waste to be processed is $75,which I assume is passed on to the offending party along with a fine. The policy seems to work well for the residents,but what about strays or neighbors who sneak into the area by the dark of night to make their deposits? Maybe a poop patrol will be launched to handle that problem?

A Fishy Story

I heard this story on the radio and several details left me scratching my head. A New York man,(some reports state his age as 71,but others fix his age at 66) illegally smuggled 40,000 piranhas into New York. Piranhas are illegal in most states as they are flesh eaters,and the man being a tropical fish salesman by trade should have known that. My first problem with the story is he was importing them from Hong Kong and they are native to South America. It seems like even if they were being raised in Hong Kong the survival rate of shipping them that distance,never mind the cost of shipping,that he should have been selling them for more than the $1. per fish that he was reportedly asking. I haven't priced tropical fish recently,but even your small silver tetras (their shipping documents identified them as tetras) sell for more that $1 a fish. Several things about this story don't add up...oh,did I mention that only 850 of the fish were recovered? So before you jump head first into your local lake or river you may want to test the water with a toe first!

Skills

The skill set (if a person can refer to them as skills) I am going to talk about today are not the skills that have provided me with my pension by any means,but they are equal in the amount of usage they have provided throughout the years. Unfortunately they really aren't worth much to anyone,myself included. If someone had a need for a person that could without fail always choose the checkout line that will take the longest I would be the person you would want on your side,or if for some reason you wanted a shopping cart with a wheel that sticks,wobbles or screeches,no problem I can select the proper cart even if the defect is not apparent after a short test drive. If you are searching for that person that can laugh uncontrollably at exactly the wrong time,your search is over! Today on the news they were talking about a flasher that has been terrorizing women and children in the Portland area (there has been a rash,or maybe outbreak...nope neither word works well here, of flashing incidents in the last few months). I started wondering about flashers and if they are erect when they flash? I decided that was likely the case as it must turn them on for some reason,and why would they bother otherwise? Anyway I was picturing what would happen if I were the victim of a flasher,without any doubt at all I would laugh,I have no idea if that would be a bad thing and get me killed or if maybe it would ruin the flashers further career in exposing himself? At this stage in life I will probably never know the answer.

Phil vs Slew

Well folks,I hate to be the one to break it to you but both Snohomish Slew (West Coast Frognosticator) and Punxsutawney Phil have agreed that there will be six more weeks of winter. Not everyone puts their trust in these two animal weather predictors,but I have found them to be about as accurate as any other system. I discovered Snohomish Slew accidently a few years ago while I was looking for a local version of Phil. I had decided Phil's powers of forecasting didn't always apply to the West Coast. This is the first year to my knowledge that the two have concurred leaving me with little hope for an error. Oh well,what is six more weeks of winter in the grand scheme of things?