What To Do With Your Losers

No,of course I'm not talking about people...at least not today. I happened across an article about a guy that made sculptures out of losing scratch- off lottery tickets and thought what a good idea,since the losing tickets seem to be abundant. After some more looking around I found there are many people employing these same losers in their artwork,so I wanted to share that with you on the chance that someone would enjoy an art project that required you to first visit bars and taverns to collect losing tickets. It would cost prohibitive to buy them all yourself!




For those of you who tune in on a regular basis I wanted to let you know that I will be taking a break for a week or maybe a little longer. I hope to return with fresh fodder to amaze and amuse my continuing readers,talk to you soon!

Summer Treat!

I heard on the radio this morning that England is about ready to market popsicles made with booze and I thought what a cool idea for summertime. Then I found several recipes online that you can make yourself,and we all know homemade things taste best. Another point of interest is they are calling these creations Poptails,a portmanteau word derived from popsicle and cocktail. The following is one recipe that I thought sounded good and was fairly easy to put together.
Blood Orange Margarita Poptails
1/4 cup caster (super fine) sugar
2 cups blood orange mineral water
2 T. Cointreau or other orange liqueur
1/4 cup tequila
finely grated zest of 1 lime
1/4 cup lime juice
1. Combine sugar and 1/4 cup water and heat in saucepan over low hear,stirring until sugar has dissolved (2-3 minutes) increase heat to medium and cook 1-2 minutes until it is slightly syrupy. Transfer to a bowl to cool.
2. Place blood orange mineral water in bowl and whisk to remove bubbles. Stir into the cooled sugar syrup with Cointreau,tequila and lime juice.
3. Carefully pour mixture into popsicle molds leaving room at the top for expansion. Freeze overnight.
4. Serve with salt flakes and lime zest. Makes about 10 popsicles.

I don't know about the rest of you,but I will be whipping up some of these puppies! Enjoy.

Ghosts and Goats

Today's offering is just a story that I found and had a good laugh over. If you are easily offended you might want to skip reading it.
 At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" Most of the hands go up. "And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?" About half the hands stay up. "OK, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?" Three hands stay up; there's a slight murmur in the crowd. "Gosh, that's pretty good. OK, have any of you ever, uh, been intimate with a ghost?" One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. "Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you've actually had sexual contact with a ghost?" The guy with his hand up suddenly blushes and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said 'goat'."


It wasn't that bad...was it? 

An Unsettling Trend

Often times I post pieces about dumb criminals and though they are funny because of the inept ways they try to execute their crimes it makes a person wonder what causes these people to not put more thought into the job,unless of course it is all about being caught. Today's hapless wanna-be bank robber had just been to his own branch of his own bank to change his address on his account. He returned 30 minutes later with his socks over his shoes (no idea what that is about),a jacket with the hood up and sunglasses, wielding a bread knife. When I first heard this I thought they had said butter knife,but either type of knife wouldn't be an appropriate tool for the job. A bread knife is made to be used in a sawing motion rendering it a less than perfect weapon and a butter knife? I'm not sure how it could be used as a weapon,short of making it into a shiv. Needless to say the 27 year old man was unsuccessful in his bid to become a bank robber,and was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in jail and ordered to pay around $200 for a victim surcharge.

Related Item

Frequently when I post my blog related things seem to happen and I find myself following a path that I hadn't noticed before. That is the case with today's post. Yesterday I got to thinking after I posted about there being a research project for nearly anything you could imagine,that why couldn't researchers look into a GPS system for the brain? No,not one to give you directions to a place but one to direct your brain in cases where the brain wasn't getting the signals quite right. I am not sure if it would really be like a GPS so much as it would be a way to conduct the electric impulses over the spots that were either no longer connected or had a faulty connection from the beginning. If something like that was developed it would help millions of people,Alzheimer's patients,stroke,brain injury,autism,the applications could be staggering. They are only scratching the surface in mapping the brain and matching areas to the functions they control,but it would be a wonderful advance in medicine if a device like this could be researched and used to help people live better lives. The scary part is that if they worked like some of the horror stories you hear about people's GPS systems you wouldn't want to rush right out to get one! 

Step Away From the Light

Okay,maybe go away from the light,maybe go toward the light,it depends on your attitude. A recent study revealed that emotions both positive and negative are felt more intensely under bright light. My understanding is if you are already a positive person bright light will make you more optimistic and generally have a sense of well being,but the flip-side is depression prone people will be even more depressed,in fact suicide rates climb in the late spring and summer months. The study included how spicy food is perceived in different lighting,how attractive a person is and how many different things compare in bright versus dim light. It goes to show there really is a study done on everything,though the results of this one could be useful to human resources departments if the information was applied. The whole study makes me think of a light bulb coming on over a person's head when they get an idea,but I'm weird that way.

Park At Your Own Risk

I've spent several months if not years watching people decide where to park. Today I am mainly referring to parking lots,though I think the psychology behind people's parking choices predicts their parking habits wherever they park. There are many different categories when it comes to parking personalities but in the interest of keeping it brief I am only going to refer to one. The drivers I am talking about today are the ones who circle like vultures looking for the perfect parking space,never considering the amount of time/gas they are wasting. By the time they finally make a selection they could have parked in the back forty and still been ahead of the game. Fitness doesn't seem to play a big part in the parking decision tree. My thoughts on this behavior are these people are either greedy and need to feel they got the "best" space,or they are needy in a way that makes them feel rewarded for something that is quite minor considering the bigger picture. Thoughts anyone?

Dating Game?

Things are really different in other parts of the world and today's post will reveal one such difference. A 62 year old man went on a TV dating show (in Turkey) looking for a new wife. He causally mentioned he had murdered his first wife and later killed a lover with an ax. He and his first wife (also his cousin) had eloped when they were 17 to save her from an arranged marriage. He said she changed after five months living with his family and when the nephew of the man she was supposed to marry started coming around he got jealous and killed her. He was sentenced to 13 years in prison and released after serving 4 years. He married his second wife and fathered two children,then began an affair with a married woman. The woman decided she wasn't leaving her husband for him,they got into an argument and he "accidentally" killed her when he swung an ax. I dated some less than savory fellows in my time,but I draw the line at ax murderers!

Your Lucky Day

Since yesterday was Mother's Day I thought that a fitting subject for today's post would be something about children,and as "luck" would have it I stumbled across the following material. In different areas of the world traditions are practiced that are thought to bring luck to the children,one could argue about the lucky part being that the children survive. In Ireland parents toss leftover pieces of their wedding cake,usually fruitcake soaked in whisky, over the children during their christening  (that explains what happens to all the fruitcakes!). Not too bad so far,but in India they drop babies off the side of a 50 foot temple to be caught below on a bed sheet/blanket, but in case that isn't enough risk to live through the children are shaken before they are tossed over the balcony. The ritual is meant to bring good luck,health,prosperity,fearlessness and intelligence,I can't seem to wrap my brain around the idea of this one,so I will leave you on your own to ponder this practice.

100 Years Ago

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there whether a current mother,past mother or future mother. Mother's Day became an official US holiday in 1914. Mother's Day was started by Anna Jarvis in 1908 to honor her late mother who had organized "Mother's Friendship Day" to promote reconciliation following the end of the Civil War. Jarvis didn't like how the day became commercialized and tried to get people to stop buying flowers,cards and gifts, she was even arrested for protesting.
In Europe an observance called "Mothering Sunday" dates back to the 16th century and was observed by returning to the mother church. It was later changed to honor mothers. In other parts of the world the day to honor mothers varies,in much of the Arab world it is observed on March 21,in Panama it is December 8 and in Thailand mothers are honored August 12th. Enjoy your day.

For What It's Worth

There's somethin' happenin' here
What it is ain't exactly clear.
Great old song written by Stephen Stills and recorded by Buffalo Springfield in 1966,my thoughts today reminded me of those first few lyrics. I will now attempt to explain why. There are a couple of things that have me scratching my head,the first is a letter I received from the local food bank inviting me (and other cash donors) to an Open House with appetizers,wine and non-alcoholic beverages. Maybe it is just me but it doesn't make sense for a food bank to waste precious funds wining and dining people who don't need it in an effort to say "thank you". I neither need nor expect any thanks,even the letter they usually send following a contribution is unnecessary,as the price of postage,cost of paper,printing and envelopes could also be used to feed the hungry. The next puzzling local business maneuver involves a defunct Catholic school which the city parks and recreation department has been renting for classes. The classes are now moving to a new location as the rent was going to be tripled at the old school. To recap,now the building will generate zero income and become an attractive nuisance for vandals and rodents possibly rendering it uninhabitable  for future tenants. Greed is a terrible thing.

Early Humor

Have you ever wondered why there are no jokes in the early written word? Being a lover of humor the question has crossed my mind. Recently I heard about an ancient tablet (around 3,500 years old) discovered in what was once Babylon (modern day Iraq) in 1976 that contained six riddles probably considered highly amusing for that time. The subject matter of the riddles is sex,beer,and mothers. Some parts of the riddles have been lost and what parts are still preserved are translated from cuneiform so the results aren't too straight forward but it leaves room for your own interpretation, or to put it another way...I guess you had to be there. Here are a couple of examples: the incomplete riddle about someone's mother is "of your mother is by one who has intercourse with her,then a who/what question is posed,but the answer was lost from the tablet" ( I bet you're dying for the punchline!) The second example "The deflowered girl did not become pregnant. The undeflowered girl became pregnant. What is it? answer Auxiliary forces." Who knows? They may have been real side splitters in that era

Beware,Sports Fans

Death is never a laughing matter but there are ways to die that are less dignified than others,of course it doesn't matter much as either way once a person is dead chances are they won't care how the death came about. The latest in a series of riots in Brazil just a month before the World Cup claimed the life of a 26 year old fan when rioters ripped out toilet bowls and threw them into the crowd. The incident was the latest of protests,construction delays and deadly accidents linked to the World Cup event. One would think they would welcome the event and revenue it would bring to the area,but apparently I am missing a piece of the puzzle surrounding the mayhem. The picture is not good quality but you can make out the toilet bowl just before the impact.

Silent Stowaway

I bet you're expecting today's offering to be about the teenager that stowed away in the wheel compartment of a Hawaiian bound airplane and actually survived the trip...nope! Today's post is about a different incident. A groom from Minnesota embarked on a rolling bachelor party with several friends in a rented RV,destination the Kentucky Derby. Sounds like a fun plan,but when they stopped to pick up more friends for the trip they smelled an odor coming from an exterior compartment. They decided to ignore the RV's owners warning that the compartments didn't work and opened them to discover the body of a 22 year old father of two who had been missing since November. The bachelor party returned home to watch the Derby on TV,and an autopsy is being performed on the body to determine cause of death. Seems like a blighted start to the marriage,but dead bodies have that affect on me.

Say What?

Hearing idioms expressed in different languages not only gives a brief glimpse into the culture of other countries it can also be good for a laugh. Here are some examples with their English equivalents,use at your own risk: Chinese,breathing through the same nostril= English,singing from the same hymn sheet (sounds a lot like being on the same page). Dutch,I sweat carrots=I'm sweating like a * pig. Esperanto,He sits in the forest and doesn't see the trees= he can't see the wood (forest) for the trees. Estonian,to make an elephant out of a gnat,Finnish,to make a bull out of a fly= to make a mountain out of a molehill. French,to have long teeth= to be ambitious (I always understood being long in the tooth to mean old!) German,I'll squeeze my thumbs for you=I'll keep my fingers crossed. Italian,that kid's got liver=that kid's got heart. I thought this would be a fun little diversion for the day,I hope you enjoyed.
Pigs actually have very few sweat glands which is the reason the wallow in mud or water to keep cool.

Taking Your Medicine

I was recently reading about medical practices of the past and wondered how many years it will take for our "modern" procedures to become obsolete,if not downright dangerous. I am only going to touch on a couple of the more outlandish treatments today as to not take up too much of your time. One popular treatment was the tobacco smoke enema ,it was used on drowning victims,cholera,people on their death beads,and as a general health tonic. The smoke enema is also thought to be the origin of the phrase "blowing smoke up your ass". Are you a migraine sufferer? Count yourself lucky to be living in this century then,because from ancient Greece until the early 20th century doctors would simply drill a hole in your head,a process called trepanation. Trepanation was also used for epileptic seizures,mental disorders and head injuries (talk about adding insult to injury!). Trepanation was eventually replaced with lobotomies where a piece of the brain was removed after drilling a hole,this method was "improved" with the quicker ice pick through the eye socket method and was still used up until the 1960s. Yikes! I don't know about the rest of you,but reading about these treatments of the not so distant past is enough to make a person avoid doctors!

Tongue In Cheek

Cat got your tongue? There are many saying that refer to the tongue and why not? it is an unique body part. The tongue is one of the strongest muscles in the body (makes me think of tongues wagging),like fingerprints each tongue print is different,with that thought in mind maybe sticking out your tongue at someone isn't a good idea. So far it hasn't been used for identification purposes and considering the logistics involved I don't see it becoming a popular ID method. The tongue is also the only muscle that is attached at only one end. Even people that don't talk much still get plenty of use out of their tongues,it helps mix the foods you eat,helps filter germs and even while you sleep it stays hard at work pushing the saliva down your throat. Next time you are tempted to bit your tongue,maybe you'll think twice!

A Special Request

Today's post is dedicated to Terri and her granddaughter Emily. Emily has questions about the nursery rhyme/song "London Bridge" aka "My Fair Lady",hopefully those questions will be answered here. There are several theories about the meaning of the rhyme,one relates to the possible destruction of London Bridge by Olaf of Norway in 1014 (or 1009) though this theory is not supported by historians. The more popular theory is the age and damage owing to the combination of age and the Great Fire of London,also in that same time period several of the arches were removed to make river navigation easier. That leaves the macabre child sacrifice theory referring to the burying of children (perhaps alive) in the foundations of the bridge to prevents its collapse,however archaeological evidence does not support this theory. The bridge was eventually replaced in the early 19th century and the remains reconstructed in Lake Havasu City,AZ.
The "Fair Lady" referred to is mostly thought to be Matilda of Scotland,Henry I's consort who was responsible for building a series of bridges. Eleanor of Provence,consort of Henry III who had custody of bridge revenues is another possible "Fair (fare) Lady".
I hope this was helpful for answering Emily's questions!

Tap Three Times

Today's title sounds somewhat like the start to a song and I hope it served to get your attention for a minute or however long it takes you to read this post. The UNICEF Tap Project has been around for awhile,but since I only recently heard about it I thought there might be more people like me out there that live under rocks and often miss current news. Here is how it works,if you download the app to your phone from the UNICEF site and don't use your phone for as little as 10 minutes corporate sponsors donate money to be used toward water,sanitation and hygiene programs for countries in need. 768 million people don't have access to safe,clean drinking water,imagine what that must be like,now imagine your life without using your cell phone for 10 minutes...I think you get the picture. The longer you set your phone down the more donations will be made,I don't use my cell phone much so I hope to supply water to many children through my non usage.
Are you wearing pants today? Just curious if anyone is honoring the No Pants Day that was posted yesterday,feel free to let me know!

May...Really!

May is Get Caught Reading Month,try to do your part!
5/1 Global Love Day
5/2 No Pants Day (do I detect a theme?)
5/3 Hug Your Cat Day
5/4 World Laughter Day (close to no pants day...)
5/5 Cartoonists Day
5/6 No Diet Day (for those of you who diet)
5/7 Great American Grump Out
5/8 No Socks Day
5/9 National Special-abled Pets Day
5/10 World Belly Dance Day
5/11 Eat What You Want Day (see 5/6)
5/12 Limerick Day (I will try to remember to write one for the blog)
5/13 Frog Jumping Day
5/14 National Chicken Dance Day
5/15 National Chocolate Chip Day (with or without cookies)
5/16 O. Henry Pun-off Day
5/17 Do Dah Day
5/18 Visit Your Relatives Day
5/19 May Ray Day
5/20 Eliza Doolittle Day
5/21 End of the World or Rapture Party Day
5/22 National Maritime Day
5/23 World Turtle Day
5/24 Morse Code Day
5/25 Nerd/Geek Pride Day
5/26 World Lindy Hop Day
5/27 Cellophane Tape Day
5/28 Slugs Return From Capistrano Day
5/29 Put A Pillow On Your Fridge Day
5/30 Mint Julep Day
5/31 What you Think Upon Grows Day