Hairlines

Normally I avoid all things political on this blog as it is done to death everywhere else but today is an exception. Earlier today at the gym while I was high on endorphins I glanced at the TV and "The Donald" was gracing the screen,under his picture was the word "Headlines" which I misread as "Hairlines". From there my brain took the reins pointing out that out of 44 presidents very few have been bald,and depending on if a person describes bald as no hair,very little hair or receding hairline making only a minor difference in the total count. Historically Americans choose leaders with hair...no doubt some of you are wondering where this is going regarding Trump,even though he claims his hair is "real" and has even went so far as to have people touch "it" ask yourself this,"If he had hair why would he wear it in that ridiculous style?  I did a little research and found some experts claiming he underwent a procedure called the flap because he was balding,so in conclusion stand by American tradition if for no other reason Trump's hair is just too weird. (For those of you who may be wondering,Bernie's hair is just fine!)

Strange New World

The latest trans being has people wondering what is next as this guy/girl has pulled out all the stops. A 52 year old man,married with 7 children left that life to become a 6 year old girl. He says he can't deny that life but "he has moved forward (sounds like he moved backward to me) and gone back to being a child. He also says he doesn't want to be an adult right now (we all have days like that) he just wants to live his life. He has an adoptive mommy and daddy who are comfortable with him being a 6 year old girl,their children and grandchildren are also accepting of him. I'm not opposed to trans sexual people and maybe this guy is for real,but what are the odds of being born both the wrong gender and the wrong age? Sorry,but this one doesn't add up for me.

Lofty Expectations

A person would think they were relatively safe when flying considering the hoops TSA makes a person jump through at their whim,but that person would be wrong. I was startled, to say the least, when I read about a recent undercover test done by the Department of Homeland Security that revealed TSA agents missed guns and other weapons 67 out of 70 times,yet I am sure they managed to find any hidden water bottles. Not enough to scare you? Okay then how about this,72 people who were working for DHS were found to be on the terror watch list! But not to worry,since then the head of TSA has been reassigned...I'm sure that will solve the problem. It was also mentioned that the scanning equipment should be re-calibrated at regular intervals. I feel safer already.

War on Drugs?

A 29 year old man from Mexico was in the D.C. area for a conference on Drug Policy Reform (a group who thinks the war on drugs does more harm than good) when police were called about a naked man in a flower bed. If you guessed it was the 29 year old man from Mexico you win today's prize! The man was sweating profusely (regardless of cool weather),shouting profanities and began pounding on the police cruiser when he noticed it. The attempts to subdue him without violence were unsuccessful as was the first time he was Tasered,it took a second Taser before he could be brought under control. The man had been smoking bath salts (a type of meth) in a vaping cigarette and was charged with possession and disorderly conduct. In an attempt to cut the guy some slack,do you suppose there was a language barrier thing going on and he thought the drug conference meant they were all supposed to get high? No,I didn't either.

Die or Pay Taxes?

Before anyone asks yes this incident occurred in Florida but for those of you keeping track the man behind the wheel was actually from Nashville so I'm not sure if this one goes on the Florida record for weirdness or not. The 40 year old man was driving his Dodge Challenger at a high rate of speed when he plowed through Advanced Tax Services and continued through the wall into Pensacola Caskets. The man told the police he had been driving at high speed on the interstate in an attempt to enter a time travel portal. The time travel event fortunately  happened early on a Sunday morning so no one was injured. The man was issued a citation for reckless driving and taken to a hospital for observation and evaluation. Maybe they should let him try again in a DeLorean?

Love Beer?

I was kind of shocked to hear about this trend as it seemed like the perfect setup for lawsuits,but maybe the customers are so happy they don't care if they drown. I'm talking about beer spas,places where you have a 30 minute beer bath complete with a tap and all you can drink. To explain a little more accurately the bath and tap are separate and the bath is kept at 98.6 degrees  and bubbles continuously to distribute the vitamins,carbohydrates and proteins found in the brew. It is a very old and unique therapy which promotes health and leaves the bather invigorated. In case you are wondering if you shower upon leaving the beer bath the answer is no,to enjoy the full benefits of the spa it is advised to wait at least 12 hours before showering. After your 30 minute bath you can either relax on a warmed bed or enjoy a massage. I'm thinking they must have you sign a waiver before you begin your treatment,as last I knew drinking and massages were not a healthful combination and I would think a warmed bed might not be that great of an idea either,but hey! after free beer for the duration who cares?

Not Out of the Woods

Today's post is about a place that is known as "The Suicide Forest" in Japan at the foot of Mt. Fuji and it ranks right up there with places like the Bermuda Triangle for unexplained events. It is called the Suicide Forest because of the obvious,people often go there to end their lives,but other inexplicable things occur there too like compasses not working properly and experienced hikers becoming lost and confused in short distances. The area is routinely patrolled for bodies by local authorities who report strange items littering the otherwise pristine floor of the forest. In 2003 a record number of suicides (108) were documented for the area,it is second to the Golden Gate Bridge for places people favor for ending their lives.

WTH?

Today's post is wrong in so many ways it's hard to know where to start. A 47 year old Georgia woman tried to buy a baby on Craigslist which is the first error of judgement. Why would anyone try to buy a baby on Craigslist? Do people often sell babies on Craigslist?  You might think that the woman was having a midlife crisis and wanted a baby for herself,but NO! She was buying it for her 14 year old daughter. I'm sorry but what does a 14 year old need a baby for? Any adult should have been either able to convince the daughter to try a pet first or better yet just say NO. But wait there's more! The woman received several responses from people willing to sell their babies! Somewhere along the line the police were alerted and they set up a sting operation and needless to say both mother and daughter are now safely ensconced in their separate lockups.

Peculiar Polling Places

With the cornucopia of craziness surrounding the upcoming election I thought we were all overdue for a bit of comic relief,of course this partial list of unusual polling stations is not a joke they really exist and oddly enough many are located in Los Angeles,CA.
McDonald's Playplace Los Angeles
Venice Beach Lifeguard Headquarters Los Angeles
Neptune Society Columbarim San Francisco,CA
Laundromats San Francisco and Chicago
People's Garages San Francisco,South Carolina and Texas
Grain Elevator Malcom,Iowa
Skunk River Arms Gun Shop Haysville,Iowa
Gordie's Foundation Barber School Chicago
Challenger Space Center Peoria,Arizona

Earth is Bleeding

Considering the abuse the planet has endured it would come as no surprise if it suddenly shot arterial spray into the atmosphere but that hasn't happened quite yet. The bleeding I refer to is a different sort and is known as Blood Falls in Antarctica. Oddly enough instead of being a cause for alarm the blood is a sign of life. The briny iron rich liquid comes from a salty lake 1,300 feet below the ice where a bacteria colony lives on sulfur and iron. Normally sunlight would be needed to complete the oxidation but instead the energy is obtained from a reaction of the sulfur and iron. Scientists figure the colony to be around 1.5 million years old and are optimistic that it is a sign that life exists on ice caps in other parts of the universe.

Dead Heat

Frank Hayes was the first and only jockey to ever win a horse race dead,and by doing that also won a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. Technically he wasn't really a jockey he was a stable hand/trainer which may have been the cause of his death as he had dropped weight rapidly in order to make the weight requirement for the race. He had begged the owner to let him ride Sweet Kiss at Belmont Park that June in 1923 and she had finally agreed. He was buried three days later in his racing silks but Sweet Kiss ended up nicknamed Sweet Kiss of Death and never raced again.

Purrfect

I wondered how long it would take Portland to join the cat lounge scene and I am happy to announce the wait is over! Purringtons opened their doors on N.E. Martin Luther King Blvd. a little over a year ago. They have a cafe on one side for those who may have allergies or maybe just want to watch the cats interact with other people where they serve a lite bite menu and beverages. The cat lounge side has the cats, of course, and can accommodate around 15 people. Since opening they have added a yoga with cats class and a meowvie night,both needless to say are in the cat lounge and allow perspective forever homes to see how the cats act in a home like sitting. There have been over 150 cats adopted from the lounge since they opened their doors. Good work!

Cutting with the Cheese

This one really has me wondering about the motive and if the thefts were a coordinated effort. A semi-tractor was used to steal a trailer loaded with $70,000 worth of cheddar cheese from Germantown,Wisconsin. The trailer was later found without the cheese. A few days prior to the cheddar heist $90,000 worth of Parmesan was picked up from a warehouse in Marshfield,Wisconsin but trailer and cheese never made it to their destination. From what I could gather both of the loads of cheese were found and recovered in good condition but no suspects have been arrested. The police believe the plan was to resell the cheese...as opposed to what? snacking your way to oblivion?  and how does an unknown person have access to both a tractor-trailer and a warehouse? Since it happened in the latter part of January I doubt we will ever know the rest of the story.

Give a Spit

Saliva is around 99% water with the other 1% made up of a complex mixture of proteins,minerals,vitamins,hormones,and traces of what you have recently had in your mouth. The salivary glands produce about a quart per day adding up to enough to fill two bathtubs a year or 2 swimming pools in a lifetime,that's some major spit! A couple of other interesting saliva facts: parents who suck the dirt off their baby's pacifier are inoculating their children against allergies and they are also less likely to get eczema and asthma. Saliva contains a natural painkiller six times more powerful than morphine with zero side effect. I wonder if I should start saving my spit now before it becomes valuable?  Of course South Africa already has an illegal spit trade where people with TB sell their saliva so the healthy people can draw health benefits of a person with TB.

Presidential Perv

Why is it that men in power positions often have loose morals? It seems like that would be something a less confident man would tend to do rather than one who has less to prove. Anyway,back to the subject at hand. Grover Cleveland married a girl 28 years younger than he was which isn't that big of a deal for those times but what makes it stand out is that he was her legal guardian from the time his law partner died when she was 11 years old . Speaking of Cleveland he also had an artificial jaw,as he had a cancerous lesion in his mouth causing surgeons to remove his upper left jaw and replace it with vulcanized rubber.

Saints and Sinners

February 14th is mainly associated with Valentines Day but since everyone knows about that I decided it would be appropriate to include a few other historic events that also happened on this date. In 1779 Captain James Cook was killed by Hawaiians after taking their king hostage. Oregon became the 33rd state in 1859 on this date and Arizona followed suit becoming the 48th state more than half a century later (1912). The following year Jimmy Hoffa was born, he became Teamsters Union president after working his was up the ranks and disappeared in 1975 (he is actually buried in my basement,it was part of my initiation into the union,but don't tell anyone!). Dresden,Germany was bombed in 1945 killing between 35,000 and 135,000. In 1962 a 32 year old Jacqueline Kennedy led a television audience on a tour  of the recently refurbished White House.

Dream Job

Looking for really short hours and a decent paycheck? I just found the job that fits that description,however the position isn't yet vacant. A 69 year old man in Spain was absent for six years without anyone noticing. His absence went undiscovered until his employer attempted to give him an award for 20 years service. His job is at a municipal water company who thought he was being supervised by local authorities who in turn thought the water company was in charge of him. The reason for his absenteeism was bullying at work over his families politics and lack of work to do. He didn't report the conditions for fear of losing his job. He was fined $30,300 which is slightly less than he makes in a year ($41,600) but apparently gets to keep the rest of the wages he earned in his six year absence.