$10,000 Bikini

I know swimwear seems overpriced considering the amount of material involved but wait,it gets worse! Once you choose to pay $10,000 for a bikini you get a custom fitting and choice of toppings...did I mention the bikini is made of pizza dough and toppings? Crazy as it may sound a New Jersey based pizza chain if offering the pizza-kini for one day only in honor of National Bikini Day,July 5th. It doesn't mention how pizza and bikinis were matched up or for that matter what would happen if a person decided to take a dip in the pizza-kini. I suppose if it was just used for sunbathing it would heat up the pizza but what would stop a dog or other animal from munching your $10,000 suit right off your body? I could understand if this was being done as a fund raiser but apparently it is just for people with $10,000 extra dollars who want to celebrate National Bikini Day.

U-Haul?

Surprising as it may seem this violation of good sense didn't take place in Florida. It isn't mentioned why the 57 year old man didn't either rent a trailer or make more than one trip to transport the goods in question but after receiving a ticket for negligent driving,uninspected vehicle and the cost of a tow from the scene, he would have came out even if not ahead. The items included a wooden cabinet,bicycle and various other belongings were stacked 7 feet high on the vehicle,impeding vision and of course there was an additional hazard of things falling off onto the highway and causing an accident. The inside of the vehicle was also loaded making me think he was trying to move without making more than one trip.

DOG Party for 2020!

Rabbit Hash,KY has a new mayor. Brynneth Pawltro a 3 year old pit bull rescue defeated a donkey and a cat to become the fourth consecutive canine mayor. She ran on the platform of "peace,love,and understanding". She is replacing Lucy Lou who recently retired from office to focus on her campaign for the presidency. Voters paid $1 per vote to put Brynn into office with the proceeds going toward restoring the town's General Store.

Dick Rock Defaced

Vandals in Norway lopped off a rock formation called Trollpikken (Troll Dick) which had been a popular destination for climbers and hikers. Police are still investigating the crime but the rock shows drill marks so there is little doubt that it was an intentional act. When or if the person/people are caught they could face up to six years in prison. The local mayor lamented how the rock that had been formed by nature was destroyed by humans. All is not quite lost though as a crowdfunding site has already raised $20,000 toward the restoration of the formation,which is two thirds of the amount needed to do the repair work.

Need to Relax?

I don't know about everyone else but I don't find the thought of someone hitting me in the face and body with sharpened cleavers with only a piece of cloth between me and the knives the least bit relaxing,but maybe that's just me? The treatment originated in China 2,500 years ago and is being resurrected again in Taiwan. According to their teachings everything has a yin and yang which is what the two knives represent. The massage is supposed to change the energy inside a person making them more relaxed. A some point during the procedure the masseuse makes a burping sound which is them expelling the bad energy they drew from the client. All this for around $40!

Poop Pudding

I'm not sure what the idea is behind the coconut pudding shaped like a bowel movement since not many people actually eat it unless it was just a way to get people into the bakery that makes it in Thailand. Most people who try to sample the pudding end up gagging before they even get it to their mouths. The poop pudding is not the only unusual item made at the bakery,they also feature a pudding that looks like a Sharpei puppy. I think I could eat the puppy the same way a person can eat an Easter Bunny,but I will go ahead and pass on the poop.

Coked Up

I understand how people who live in sun deprived areas can be over zealous when it comes to trying to tan but this particular method speaks to me of a special kind of stupid. Apparently it started last year in the UK when Allure magazine suggested using Coca-Cola on the skin to get a better tan. The only truth to the idea is that the caramel coloring with stain your skin but it also exfoliates your dead cells leaving the new cells to be burned. Putting both of those facts aside what about it making you instantly sticky? and never mind attracting every kind of insect possible up to and including stinging and biting ones. All in all it sounds like a terrible plan and I strongly suggest choosing plan B even if you don't yet have a plan B.

Zany Zombies

Since zombies eat brains so they can supposedly take on the memories of those brains does that mean they never get a hold of decent brains,or is there another reason they just keep doing stupid zombie stuff? With that question out of the way I came across some humorous zombie personal ads that I wanted to share.
I have good taste in people. #ZombiePersonalAds
Refuses to date Trump supporters. They taste terrible. #ZombiePersonalAds
What do I look for in a woman? Brains. #ZombiePersonalAds
#ZombiePersonalAds I voted for Trump. Missing frontal cortex, looking 4 same. Also, I love long staggering​ walks on the beach. No vegans
I'm looking for someone with a good brain #ZombiePersonalAds
I prefer brains over beauty.#ZombiePersonalAds

Baggy Bungle

It's surprising that there aren't more crimes gone bad with guys wearing the gangsta wanna be baggy pants,in fact I'm amazed every time I see them simply walking without their pants falling down,but again I digress. Two partners in crime were out for a night of burglarizing cars for whatever they could find when another car drove by the scene of the crime. The driver ran to the car and jumped in but his friend didn't quite make it to the car before tripping and falling on his pants. Sorry the pictures aren't better...did I mention this was in Florida? Maybe if they continue their life of crime they could look into uniforms to avoid the pants problem in the future.
 

on the right side of this shot you can see him start to go down

Extra Crispy

Sunburn is no laughing matter,not only is it painful but it causes lasting damage to your skin. The Climate Change Deniers may want to take notes on this part...in Oregon about 1/2 century ago it was really hard to get a sunburn which is why teens used baby oil to try to get a tan...fast forward to present times and a person can get sunburned with only short exposure. Most people think of the UK's weather as rainy and foggy but they are experiencing a heat wave and people are getting burned because they are unaccustomed to using sunscreen in their area. This was the case for a gardener in Scotland who mowed for 7 hours without sunscreen and suffered the consequences. The first photo is at the end of the first day,the following shots are from the next day. Ouch!

Signature Signals

I've been reading about the different walk/don't walk traffic signals around the world the last couple of days which brought back found memories of a trip to Australia. The signals themselves weren't that much different from ours other than when you were about halfway across the street they started playing a warning tune that reminded us of the Pac-Man game but I digress. In Maryborough, Australia,where the author of Mary Poppins was born they have installed Mary Poppins walk signals in honor of P.L. Travers. Around the world there are many renditions of the walk signals,far different from our (US) lights. In Germany they almost lost the East German Ampelmannchen but he was saved when traffic psychologists were able to prove they were safer than the standard issue signals. Still other countries use female forms rather than the androgynous figures most often seen.

Not Feeling Like Yourself?

A 70 year old man was so fed up with life at home that he robbed the Bank of Labor in Kansas City,Kansas and then sat down in the lobby to wait for the police to arrive from their station located a block from the bank. Now for the strange part...though he had handed the teller a note saying he had a gun and instructed her to hand over all her money he was armed only with nail clippers and a hair brush. Unknown at the time of the crime Mr. Ripple was suffering from depression after undergoing a quadruple bi-pass in 2015,he is now on medication and feels like his old self again. Instead of being sentenced to any jail time he was ordered to serve 50 hours community service,pay $227.27 to the bank for the employees lost time,$100 to victims fund,3 years probation and six months home confinement so I guess it is a good thing he is feeling like his old self.

Louie's Loose!

In honor of National Lobster Month Peter's Clam Bar on Long Island freed Louie, a 132 year old 22 pound lobster. Louie has lived the last 30 years or more in a lobster tank at the restaurant and the owner realized when someone wanted to buy Louie last week that it was past time for him to be set free. This is the second time Peter's has released a lobster back into the ocean. Last June Larry the Lobster was released into his natural habitat. An expert was asked what the chances of survival were even though Louie was missing a claw and he said they were good as lobsters have no predators other than man. I'm not certain how long ago it was but a group of people in Florida paid to have a big elderly lobster sold to them so they could ship it to Maine to be released,unfortunately that one died in transit. Happy Father's Day to Louie and all the rest of the Dads out there.

Summer Sensation?

By now most of my regular readers know I'm not big on fashion,though even with that in mind this seems like more of a joke than something men would really wear. There are at least two companies who are making rompers for men. Getonfleek offers several rather bizarre pictures and patterns in their line including one featuring Kim Jong Un's face.  ACED Design of Chicago raised funds by crowdfund to launch their Romphim line of men's rompers promising to revolutionize male fashion. So far I haven't seen anyone wearing one but at least men wouldn't have to take the whole garment off just to use the bathroom so who knows? Maybe they will catch on.

Meanwhile South of the Border...

A crafty Mexican brewery teamed up with a US brewery to come up with a New England Indian Pale with a dash of mango (no doubt because of the orange color,or maybe for the flavor,who knows?) The label of Amigous ( amigo misspelled on purpose) Cerveza features a frowning Trump as a gun-slinging mariachi  musician whose pants are held up with a swastika belt buckle. The rear label reads the 71 year old New Yorker belongs in a mad house,not the White House. Notice the writing on the sombrero reads "Luck You",hmmm.  Oddly enough it is selling. The Ukraine is also offering a Trump Beer, President of the Divided States of America.

Isn't that Putin peaking over the P in a" Make America Great Again" cap?