Another Impersonator

Entertainers seem to have found out how easily they can fool people and armed with this knowledge have taken the next logical step,politics. Mind you I've nothing against this particular person but recent poor choices by some folks in the political arena have left me skittish. Elvis D. (not A.) Presley has announced his candidacy for a congressional seat in Arkansas.  Elvis' previous experience includes: a sometimes Elvis impersonator who legally changed his name to that of the King,working in an auto body shop,and a previous candidate for county land commissioner.  What the hey,if he is judged by current standards he should be a shoe in.

Easy Fix

Residents at a Florida nudist RV resort/retreat which also includes some family homes have been complaining that the relief mail carrier will not deliver inside their gates and instead leaves their mail and packages in the locked mail/parcel boxes outside of the gate. The post office spokesperson explained that the carrier is following the rules for postal delivery and that when a package needs a signature they need to come into the office for the package. Though I understand wanting or needing to have a parcel at the earliest possible time the post office will not change their rules for this situation,so unless they find it necessary to flaunt their nudity to postal workers they should insist their parcels be delivered by a carrier who makes to the door deliveries,problem solved.

What?? The Devil?

Today's post could go under learning something new or maybe a completely new heading of things a person would never imagine being a problem. A man in New York took out a restraining order on his father-in-law because the man kept taunting him with his toupee because it reminded him of the Tasmanian Devil who the man has feared for as long as he can recall. I had never heard of a cartoon character phobia but since there is a name for them I gather this isn't the first person to have that fear. The name of that particular phobia is kyroflonoshophobia (keer-oh-feeloonoo-shophobia). The father-in-law faces charges of criminal contempt and aggravated harassment.

Major Cluck Up

More than 600 KFC restaurants in the UK closed last week due to lack of chicken,now stop me if I'm wrong but exactly how does a place that specializes in chicken run out? According to reports they had switched suppliers and were working the bugs out,oh and did I mention they get their chicken delivered through DHL? That seems like an incredibly bad idea but maybe DHL is different in the UK and they have refrigerated vehicles? People were so upset by the closures they were calling the police so often they had to issue a message telling them not to call the emergency number. One restaurant that is located four doors down from a KFC had no trouble getting chicken and put up a sign saying they had chicken and it was "finger licking great!!"

Perspective

Today's post is nearly the complete opposite of yesterday's offering in that yesterday's was about conspicuous consumerism and today's is about DIY gone terribly wrong in an attempt to save money. A Michigan man who was trying to get a skunk family to move out of the crawl space under his house threw a smoke bomb in to chase the skunks out. In case you haven't guessed yet a fire ensued,but wait there's more! The man didn't call 911 until the fire had been burning for 15 minutes and a slow burning fire can double in size every 30 seconds,needless to say the house was a complete loss by the time the firemen got the blaze put out. To conclude instead of calling a professional to take care of the skunk problem which would have run around $250-$500 depending on the service he lost his house and most of his possessions,oh and no skunk carcasses were found at the scene. Skunks 1,Michigan Man 0.

Moron Fashion

Today's post is a perfect example of more money than sense. Even though my fashion sense is limited I still have enough sense to know that buying a Celine designer plastic shopping bag for $590 is nothing short of insanity,and yes I'm talking about the kind of shopping bag that most stores still give away with your purchases. Of course this bag is clear plastic for those who might want to flaunt their purchases I suppose it is just what they needed,but the bottom line remains the same in that number one, it is still plastic which in theory everyone should be trying to eliminate and number two even if  the $590 price tag doesn't give you sticker shock maybe you should try donating to a food bank or other charitable cause instead of buying a disposable bag.

Cracked

Although the subject of today's post happened nearly a year ago it doesn't make it any less strange,but  then again,I don't seem to have much respect for performance art. A French male performance artist decided to hatch chicken eggs by sitting on them for 21-26 days in a vivarium while wearing a blanket to keep his body temperature up and eating ginger also to increase heat. His other pieces have included living inside a stuffed bear and eating only beetles and berries,living inside a carved out rock an existing on only soup,and floating down a river in a giant corked bottle (that one at least sound a little bit fun). Of course in this man's case he comes by his odd ways honestly as his father invented a pill that made flatulence smell like roses.
I was able to carve out enough time this morning to write this post as I have more basement work coming up at noon,but the good news is it is getting close to done!

Sorry

Got several hours of basement work in which left no time to prepare a post for today,I'm not sure about tomorrow either since we will be going at it again. Hang in there!

Flatulent Flyer

Apparently the two men who created a disturbance over an unknown person passing gas didn't know that exposure to the smell was healthful as I posted about on January 13th this year,then again I know first hand how bad the hydrogen sulfide can be in close quarters. The flight from Dubai to Amsterdam had to land in Vienna to put the men off the plane plus two women who claimed they didn't know the men but the attendants somehow thought they were travelling together. I can't help but wonder if there will be another airline regulation in the future. The times I have been in eye watering vicinity of flatus while in flight I suspected it was a flight attendant and have since then read that when the attendants have gas they often walk quickly up and down the aisles and refer to the action as crop dusting.

Look What Popped Up

If you'll pardon the pun in the title I'll swear I'm not obsessing over the apparent penis preoccupation in South Korea. Seriously I haven't been looking for penis related stories but several sites I frequent have stories about attractions nearby the Olympic village,one of those attractions is a penis park which is exactly what it sounds like and even the lighthouse in the penis park village is shaped like a penis. From what I have gathered, rather contrary to the abundant condom supply,the penises are a monument to fertility and born of a legend involving a virgin and a fish? I suppose if I were there I would probably find myself posing with a penis for a photo op,but since I'm not there one can never be sure.

Infrequent Flyer

Even though it sounds funny to hear about a woman in  Chinese railway station climbing onto the belt with her purse to go through the x-ray machine,when you think about it several things validate her actions. I assume that like airports in the US there is a continuous loop announcement warning travelers to not leave their bags unattended,so if she had not traveled regularly and was literal minded it would explain her actions. Some of you are probably thinking she should have noticed that everyone else was not entering the x-ray machine with their belongings,but again if she was not a frequent traveler she would have been nervous and not as likely to be paying attention to what anyone else was doing. Officials warn people to not go through the machine as the x-rays can be harmful.

This is another person in a Chinese airport so maybe they need to rework their message.

Shaken Or?

It is not apparent why cleaning the men's toilet was tasked to a female co-worker but that aside the men took it upon themselves to mock the woman for putting a roll of toilet paper near the urinal. Most everyone knows that men don't use toilet paper after urinating but why not? Does it date back to pre-toilet paper days or maybe the depression when everything was consciously conserved? Some claim that the reason behind  shaking instead of wiping is to avoid stimulation,if that is the case would the same risk be true of shaking? Some men admit to preferring to wipe rather than shake to prevent a final drip soiling their underwear...maybe those are men who do their own laundry?  At any rate if they wish to mock her for a considerate gesture I think they should clean their own toilet.

Dog Years

Unless you live in a cave you're probably aware that today is the start of the Chinese New Year celebration. The celebration last two weeks and can begin anytime between January 21-February 20 based on the lunar calendar. There are many superstitions about the Chinese New Year,many of them are about avoiding sharp objects and washing things as the washing can wash away the year's luck. 2018 is the Year of the Dog and also the Year of the Earth Dog as there are different varieties of each animal. This is the first Earth Dog year since 1958. Every animal and part of the celebration has significance,plus the animals are separated into groups of yin and yang depending on whether they have an even or odd number of claws,hooves or toes.



Here is a chart to help determine which animal you are.

• Rat: 2008, 1996, 1984, 1972, 1960
• Ox: 2009, 1997, 1985, 1973, 1961
• Tiger: 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962
• Rabbit: 2011, 1999, 1987, 1975, 1963
• Dragon: 2012, 2000, 1988, 1976, 1964
• Snake: 2013, 2001, 1989, 1977, 1965
• Horse: 2014, 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966
• Goat: 2015, 2003, 1991, 1979, 1967
• Monkey: 2016, 2004, 1992, 1980, 1968
• Rooster: 2017, 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969
• Dog: 2006, 1994, 1982, 1970, 1958
• Pig: 2007, 1995, 1983, 1971, 1959

Merkins Make a Comeback

First off I need to express my feelings on today's post...OMG! What the hell were they thinking? At the New York Fashion Week Kaimin,a well known South Korean fashion designer, brought back vagina wigs (known as merkins in the 1600s when they were worn by women of the night for health and sanitary issues). The Kaimin collection central theme is pride in your body and sexuality. They wished to express the punk aesthetic and worked to make them appear as "natural" as possible using the finest materials. Oh please! as if there is anything natural about having a Mohawk in your pubic hair.