Bank Bandits

A bank in Toronto has been closed since August due to masked bandits (raccoons) moving into the ceiling of the bank. They don't expect to make the repairs and get the critters out of their nest until late October. The Toronto airport has also had a problem with the little pests,one was even caught peeking out of the ceiling by a surveillance camera. I'm convinced the problem started just like the one we had locally several years ago when people decided they had to feed them because the were so cute and novel. It is never a good idea to feed wild animals as it causes them to reproduce more rapidly than the environment can support which in turn causes nature to step in and wipe the slate nearly clean with disease which is what happened here. So to sum it up for those of you not paying attention "DON'T FEED THE WILD ANIMALS!"

Public Servants

After three Gainesville,Florida policemen posted a photo on Facebook captioned with their names and the fact they were with the night crew getting ready to do some Irma cleanup comments from around the nation were posted suggesting that several females were considering coming to Gainesville to commit  crimes. The police department responded with appropriate comments and advice to not request the three men come to investigate your "incident",but did announce that the three men were going to offer a calendar later in the year with the proceeds going to hurricane relief. Nice to hear about positive interactions with law enforcement regardless of all the unrest at this time in our country. Thanks guys!

Weird Weddings

I'm not so much saying these weddings are weird as I just couldn't resist using the alliteration available. An Australian couple who both love Costco as well as each other decided to marry the two loves and get married in a Costco just outside of Sydney. The first thing that comes to mind with Costco is giant sizes but the wedding was fairly small (90 guests) and for $10 per head they were served pizza,meat pies and soft drinks,the cake on the other hand was a massive Costco structure. This was the first Costco wedding in Australia,but there have been several in the US.
A woman in Italy held a wedding where she married herself to show her self love after breaking up with a long term boyfriend. She had promised herself she would wed herself if she hadn't married anyone by the time she turned 40. The practice of marrying yourself is called sologamy.

Fitting to a Tee

There are a few people that a person could almost feel sorry for when they get a DUI,then there are the balance of the recipients of the DUI award that seem to stack the deck in favor of getting a DUI. A prime example of this latter type is a man in Sterling,Connecticut who police stopped after he first hit a curb then violated various other traffic laws. Not only did he fail the sobriety test, police also found drugs and drug paraphernalia,plus a 12 inch machete. If all that didn't help his cause in getting a DUI,his T-shirt with the saying ,"Beer+Beer=Shenanigans"sealed the deal.   The remaining photos show others arrested for DUI and the shirts they were wearing.

Let It All Hang Out

I have often mentioned that I make no claim to any fashion sense other than to occasionally poke fun at some of the more ridiculous renditions of clothing items that pass for fashion. For example the latest by Y/Project...crotch- less jeans. For the low price of $570 you too can own a pair of jeans that look more like chaps,but I guess without any seat to the pants a person would no longer find it necessary to ask the age old question,"do these pants make my butt look big?"  Since I am fashion unconscious it is entirely possible I'm missing something about this style,however I am certain that they are missing a major part of the usual components of a pair of pants. 

Going to the Dogs

For those of you who fear Hispanics are taking money meant to line your own pockets,maybe there is another culprit to blame for those missing dollars. For instance a dog in New York named Holly started stealing money as a puppy and soon discovered she could buy treats with the cash as her family would trade treats to get the cash back without it being destroyed. Her owner works at a restaurant and when she counts her tips Holly comes running and puts her head on her lap until she gets her share of the take. Holly even has two piggy banks to keep her money in and the family often makes her pay before she gets a treat. Now folks think about this...if you are okay with Holly stealing money for treats yet you want to deny a hard working human a chance to EARN money maybe it's time for you to examine your thoughts a little more closely. 

Tis the Season

For football that is and I happen to have some handy dandy quotes as the season gets underway.
Football is not a contact sport. It's a collision sport. Dancing is a good example of a contact sport.
Duffy Daugherty
Football is,after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
Heywood Hale Brown
Football combines the two worst features of American life: violence and committee meetings.
George Will
American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Sue Lawley

Hard Core

Today's post should be filed under the heading bizarre competitions. The World Nettle Eating Championship takes place at a pub in Dorset,England and started in 1997 when two farmers bet on who had the worst nettle problem,the loser had to eat a stem of nettles. Fast forward to today and the competition is limited to 65 entrants and the winner is determined on how many feet of nettles they consume in an hour. Last year a chef won after eating 86 feet. He claimed it isn't that bad,it just kind of tingles. I beg to differ as those things sting like crazy when you touch them and you'll note they don't even don gloves before shoving the stingers into their faces. One competitor said the secret is to wash them down with plenty of beer...did I mention they leave your tongue black? Oh and if you're wondering what the prize is for this self abuse I never found one so I assume it's a bragging rights kind of deal.

Leaking and Sifting,or is that Shifting?

I'm not sure how much vodka there is in 40,000 pounds (17 pallets),in fact I've never heard vodka measured by the pound but that is how much vodka was lost when a tractor trailer flipped on its side in North Carolina. Other than the vodka there were no other injuries but they were unable to right the trailer with a heavy duty tow truck so the remaining vodka had to be unloaded by hand. The driver was cited for not properly securing his load and though it seems like a shame even the unbroken bottles of vodka had to be destroyed which begs the question exactly how do you get rid of vodka within the environmental laws? Other than the obvious way of course (drinking) at which time I will mention I'm available to help out.

I Tried

I first heard about the Dad Bod Bag several days ago while listening to the radio,I then looked it up to get a visual. After seeing the Dadbag I decided to follow the old adage,"If you don't have anything nice to say,don't say anything at all."  But alas,it was not meant to be. I have never known a man who would wear one of these,even as a joke. I have nothing against a real dad bod but that isn't the point of these. The artist who designed them is still looking for production partners so they aren't available yet,but when they are they will come in six styles and sell for $30.

Love Mysteries?

Most people like a good mystery because it provides a chance to test drive you detecting skills,but the mystery of the flushed Euros is giving Swiss authorities a run for their money. The first bundle of 500 Euro bills turned up in  bathroom near a bank in Geneva. A few days later more money was found clogging the toilets of nearby restaurants causing expensive repairs in order to unclog the pipes. Police have collected tens of thousands of Euros that look like they have been cut with scissors and though it isn't illegal to destroy Euros in Switzerland nor is the clogging of the toilets a crime they want to determine the origin of the money. Personally I don't care where the money came from I want to know why a whack job is cutting it up and flushing it...has Trump been to Switzerland lately? 

Really?

I've never claimed to be a fashion expert but it does't take much knowledge to know that someone needs to call the fashion police on Calvin Klein's naked sweater. Seriously I'm not even sure it should be called a sweater unless maybe your arms are usually colder than your trunk because the arms are where the bulky sweater knit is located and the body of the "sweater" is sheer nylon...how sheer you ask? Sheer enough to see through and expose a person's nipples. Maybe I'm just getting to old to understand the latest trends but then again for $2,000 per sweater maybe I understand it too well.

Flirting With Disaster

No,not the Molly Hatchet song, this guy was actually flirting with disaster and it seems as though disaster took the challenge. A man in Worms,Germany apparently decided that the hole of a dumbbell disc looked pretty enticing because he ended up in the hospital after getting his penis stuck in it at the gym. Firefighter were called in to deal with the situation and it took them around 3 hours to get the job done using a grinder and hydraulic saw (I bet that made the man nervous).  I'm not familiar with gyms in Germany but the one I go to  usually has other people there and there are also cameras in several locations to monitor the activities in the hours when no employees are present,so to wrap it up,what the hell was the guy thinking?

Minor Leak

The regular readers among you know by now that I pretty much read everything which often leads me to questions that I can't find answers too,but with today's post I did find the answers and they turned out to be more disturbing than the initial story. Residents near Greenoaks Funeral Home in Baton Rouge noticed what appeared to be blood leaking into the street. Officials from both the Department of Environmental Services and the sewer inspector arrived to find the leak from a blockage in a storage tank had already been discovered by the funeral home and stopped. So what do you suppose they do with the blood when it is time to drain the tank? They drain it into the sewer system! I don't know about everyone else but I found this a bit difficult to swallow but as repeated many times in many articles worse things than blood end up in the sewage system.

Animal,Vegetable or Mineral

Today's title was at one time the name of an early TV program from 1952-1959 but I digress. Most folks have heard about the Ig Nobel awards which are for the most part about thinking of things in different ways and if that makes a person laugh all the better. In 2014 a French researcher was awarded the prize for his study "Can a Cat Be Both a Liquid and a Solid?" The physics portion of the prize concluded that younger cats held their shape better than older felines and proved it through mathematical calculations. See examples below.