The Fear of God

Today's post if further proof that I'm not singling out Florida when it comes to weirdness. This event took place at the Keystone Fellowship Church near Philadelphia,PA. The long running practice at the church is to put a bible on the pew to save a seat for someone who hasn't yet arrived or for someone who will be back shortly. The trouble started when Mr. Braxton took a seat that someone was trying to save. He became agitated and loud when first the usher then the associate pastor approached him about the problem,at this time Mr. Storms entered the action. He showed Braxton his badge that verified his concealed carry permit, Braxton responded by punching Storms in the face at which time Storms fired his handgun twice killing Braxton. Another reason to avoid church.

Monkey Music

It's time to be outraged by frivolous government spending again, or maybe still rather than again fits better here.  A study conducted in Oregon by the National Institutes of Health spend 5 million to determine if alcohol made birds slur their songs. The same agency farmed out a study (to China) on research to learn why some people see Jesus on a piece of toast (3.5 million). A mere 1 million was spent in Georgia to study what kind of music monkeys and chimpanzees preferred. To wrap it up for today the same NIH partnered up with the National Science Foundation to find out what makes goldfish feel sexy costing 3.9 million. These studies were all turned in to a congressional report by Senator Jeff Flake from Arizona...an unfortunate last name but he seems to be looking out for our tax dollars.

Fore!

It is entirely likely that I will be the only one who finds this post humorous but I've encountered more pretentious golfers in my time than golfers who are strictly about the game. Since 2005 a Norwegian golf course has routinely found human feces topped with toilet paper in holes on the course (maybe it's a crappy course!) . The groundskeeper is certain it is a male because the amount of feces left is massive,personally I would be more inclined to think it would be a woman (golf widow) regardless of the size. Oddly enough the culprit only leaves their deposits on weekdays and has at times used a bicycle as transportation as revealed by the tracks in the morning dew. A person would think in over ten years time they would have solved the problem one way or another.

Someone Dropped the Ball

Before I get started I want to make it clear that I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies in the name of beauty...or whatever, but when a person sets out to become a cartoon character exactly how are they okay-ed through the consultations to exclude the mentally ill?  This woman (Pixee Fox) was beautiful before the 15 surgeries she had to achieve her desired look, of course she did gain the look of a cartoon character (Jessica Rabbit) which was her goal. What kind of reputable surgeon would remove her six floating ribs which are there to protect vital organs in order for her to be able to have a 14 inch waist? It couldn't have been all about the money because the total of her 15 surgeries only came to $120,000 which doesn't seem like enough to cover the extensive work she had done,so what was the surgeons motive?

Poor Investment

It seems to me if a person was lucky enough to win 3 million dollars on a lottery scratch ticket they would neither want nor need to press their luck,but NO that wasn't the case with a Georgia man. I don't know if he was a special kind of stupid or if he was just your basic greedy sort who couldn't make do with 3 million,which ever he was he decided to invest in crystal meth to enhance his winnings. The 45 year old was arrested with 11 pounds of meth worth about $500,000,$600,000 cash,assorted firearms and thousands of rounds of ammunition. He is now facing decades to life in prison for his unsound financial strategy. Apparently he had never heard the saying "quit while you're ahead".

Flipping the Bacon

From the feedback I received on the elderly woman defending herself against a would be robber by bashing her with a package of bacon I can say the story was enjoyed by all. Underdog stories often end up being feel good stories,but there are underdog exceptions. An Arizona man with a motorized scooter has robbed a Walmart twice and is still at large. I'm not clear on what happened the first time but the second time he loaded the basket on the scooter and when an employee attempted to stop him from leaving he pinned her against the wall with the scooter. The next part doesn't make sense to me,two customers came to the employee's aid and the scooter thief absconded with the goods. It seems like someone could have blocked his exit since he had to stay in place to keep the employee pinned to the wall.  Walmart stores are the originators of the Code Adam where they can lock a store down if they suspect a child has been abducted so couldn't they have thwarted a thief and saved an employee with the same technology?

A Little Something

Today's post represents something new I learned today. The smallest island in the world is Bishop Rock,it is 4 miles west of the Isles of Scilly in Cornwall (UK). If I understand correctly what makes it an island instead of a piece of rock is the lighthouse on it.The building was originally started in 1847,swept away by a storm in 1850 and finally completed in 1858, The island rises a mere 148 feet out of the ocean is 150 feet long and 52 feet wide. Since converting to automatic operations in 1991 its ten floors have been used to house up to 4 guests at a time who can stay for up to three weeks. It might be peaceful and nice for a few days but it seems like it might get a little boring after that.

Lucky Larry

An excited restaurant owner in Florida contacted the media with his rare find a 14.98 lb lobster. Most of the specimens he serves are between 3-5 lbs. and would be around 15-20 years old so he guessed Larry's age to be around 110 (they grow more slowly the bigger they get). A man heard about Larry and called to buy and reserve him for a family dinner but before that happened a local group (irescue) inquired if they could reimburse the man and save Larry's life. The restaurant owner complied and Larry is now on his way to an aquarium in Maine where he will either eventually go into their lobster display or be released in the ocean. While I would like to think of Larry gaining his freedom what are the odds that he would be caught again and might not be so lucky next time?
 

New Bacon Recipe!

You long term readers have probably noticed by now that I love a good underdog story, especially when the underdog is elderly. This time the would be victim was an 86 year old woman in England who had just withdrew a sizable amount of cash from an ATM. She then went into a grocery store where a younger woman grabbed her shopping cart and demanded the money. The quick thinking 86 year old looked around for a weapon finding a package of bacon close by (must have been a 3lb. package) and began repeatedly bashing the robber over the head with it. The younger woman realized she had misjudged her "easy" mark and quickly made her way out of the store. It wasn't mentioned if the robber woman had been found.The 86 year old woman was a little shaken up but otherwise fine. Let this be a lesson to any would be robbers of the elderly out there,they might not be in their prime anymore but that doesn't mean they are going to lay down and take crap from any lowlifes!

Don't Sweat It

Personally I don't see how this device could help a person stay cool but I will maintain an open mind just because I'm that kind of gal. This mini-fan is designed to clip on to your sleeve (or other areas as desired) and supposedly it is going to both keep you cool and eliminate underarm odor. The first problem I have is the odor from underarms is caused by bacteria from sweat fermenting so if anything it seems like it would only succeed in blowing the smell around and not preventing it. The second difficulty is how would it offer any cooling effect at all since it will be gathering air already heated by the proximity to your body. They claim the fan can run for 5-9 hours on two AAA batteries or you can charge it with a USB connection and they sell for $35 a pair. I will take a pass on this one.

Feral Force

Every week deserves at least one feel good post and today is that day. The Empirical Brewery in Chicago enlisted the help of four feral cats from Tree House Humane Society Cats at Work program which places feral animals in safe surroundings where they earn their keep without outside threats to their health. The brewery turned to the feline crew to control a rodent problem with the grains they use without the need to use poisons in areas where the grains were stored. The cats (Venkman,Egon,Ray and Gozer) receive regular pay in their shelter,food and litter box cleaning. Venkman is the foreman, or rather forecat but there was no mention of a union or union steward.

Got Salad?

In the last several months there has been a number of truck accidents where the contents of the load was scattered about on the highway leaving edibles from chips to bananas for the clean-up crews whether they were human or animal. The latest of these accidental "spreads" was mayonnaise and salad dressing on a highway near Toronto, Canada. The spill took over 12 hours to clean up because of the thickness and slipperiness of the mess. The 52 year old driver was cited for reckless driving as a high rate of speed caused the rollover. He was uninjured. I wonder if the cleanup would have went more quickly if they had brought in a truck of lettuce? You know how lettuce seems to suck up every bit of mayonnaise or salad dressing within a square mile.

Zit Cakes

Sounds gross doesn't it? Trust me they look as bad as they sound as you will see for yourself. A California dermatologist known to many as Dr. Pimple Popper had a local bakery replicate the appearance of a pimple in a batch of cupcakes, complete with cream filling that would ooze out like a pimple when squeezed. I guess this one should be filed under "to each their own" but I still find it a bit disturbing. Last I heard a person wasn't supposed to pop pimples of course if you're a dermatologist I guess that qualifies you to pop pimples...or is she just drumming up business?

Down on Their Luck?

Skinny dipping isn't exactly legal since it is indecent exposure but I think unless there are complaints it is mainly  overlooked,however if you go skinny dipping early in the morning and your clothes are stolen you don't want to steal a riding lawn mower and ride it home naked. That is the poor decision that caused the Joplin, Missouri couple to be arrested. The 55 year old man and 40 year old woman were arrested on suspicion of theft since it was established that the lawnmower didn't belong to either of them. How many of you were thinking it had to be another Florida incident?

Wanna Be Firemen

I find it vaguely disturbing that two different men have tried to douse the Olympic flame on its trek to Rio. I remember there were protests when Rio was chosen as the site of the 2016 Summer Games because people thought the money to host the Games could be used to help the widespread poverty, of course the economy should improve over the course of the Games at least that is the idea. The first man tried to put out the flame with a bucket of water but missed and drenched a security guard instead. The second man used a fire extinguisher to no avail. Both men were arrested. It seems like a wasted effort to protest what is already a done deal and leaves a person with a feeling of uneasiness.