The UK had a contest for Dad jokes judged by a comedian who says a good dad joke should be a combination of equal parts cringe and cheese. The winner out of 2,700 entries was,"I once hired a limo but when it arrived, the guy driving it walked off!
I said "Excuse me? Are you not going to drive me?"The guy told me that the price didn't include a driver…
… so I'd spent £400 on a limo and have nothing to chauffeur it!"
The runners up follow:
• Why did the man fall down the well? Because he didn't see that well!
• What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? "Aye Matey!"
• Someone has glued my pack of cards together - I don't know how to deal with it.
• What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fries? Dead man wok-ing
• I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger, and then it hit me
• I was stood behind a customer at an ATM and he turned around and said "could you check my balance?" - so I pushed him. His balance wasn't that great.
• Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was out standing in his field!
• What did the daddy buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison
• Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
• What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesaurus!
• What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? "Aye Matey!"
• Someone has glued my pack of cards together - I don't know how to deal with it.
• What do you call a zombie who cooks stir fries? Dead man wok-ing
• I was wondering why the frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger, and then it hit me
• I was stood behind a customer at an ATM and he turned around and said "could you check my balance?" - so I pushed him. His balance wasn't that great.
• Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was out standing in his field!
• What did the daddy buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison
• Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
• What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesaurus!
Happy Father's Day!
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