Monday, June 10, 2013

A Few Laughs

The following examples are called paraprosdokians,how could they not be funny with a name like that?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
If you see a man running from a tiger, run faster than he does, you can't outrun the tiger and you don't have to.
I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim.
Advertising messages have to be made loud and clear for the hard of thinking.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
She looks as though she’s been poured into her clothes, and forgot to say ‘when’.
Always swim or dive with a friend. It reduces your chance of shark attack by 50%.

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