Silly Saturday

Since tomorrow's post will be the monthly planner I decided I would honor April Fool's Day today with some more thoughts from the shower.
My shower thought is if a light bulb over your head means you have an idea,what does a broken light bulb mean?
Once humans colonize Mars you'll have to add another line to your address for planet.
You know you're and adult when you get excited to just go home.
Suitcases rarely contain a suit.
An Earthquake on Mars is a Marsquake.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly,it wouldn't have fallen off.
If we refer to dirt on Earth as earth,would dirt on Mars be mars?
If your shoelaces were made of headphone wire you'd never have to tie them.

Unlikely Partners

I suppose followers of the Boston Marathon would know that Saucony Shoe Company designs a running shoe for the marathon every year,though it was news to me. This year they teamed up with Dunkin' Donuts to give real meaning to the catch phrase,"Running on Dunkin'" The design cleverly incorporates a donut on the heel of the shoe and the pink and sprinkles continue on the side of the shoe. The inside of the right shoe has an image of an iced coffee while the left sports a hot coffee. The sole on the outer shell has the word "Boston" and the heel has the iconic "America Runs on Dunkin'". Even the box was designed to look like a box of Dunkin's finest and all this happiness can be had for $110.

Drinking on the Job

If you are a Gordon's gin lover this could be your lucky day as they are looking for taste testers for their three new flavors due out summer of 2018: Gordon's Premium Pink Gin,Gordon's Sloe Gin and Gordon's with Elderflower.  To apply for your dream job go to Testers Keepers. The bad news is there is no pay involved but you do get to keep the rest of the bottles that you taste test which may be enough incentive for many of you...you know who you are!

Clown With a Cause

A former Ringling Bros. circus clown has decided to join the clowns in congress and show them how it's done since they are the worst clowns he has ever seen. Steve Lough is a graduate of Dartmouth College and Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Clown College and is running as a Democrat in South Carolina. His big issues are health care and gun reform. He was so depressed after Sandy Hook that he couldn't sleep,then when the gun laws remained unchanged he got mad. He worked on both of Obama's campaigns and Bernie Sander's in 2016,he has two democratic opponents to face off against in the primary in June. My first question is did he throw a hat or a wig into the ring?

100/200/1,000 mph

Good ol' Duct/Duck tape goes by many names though it was originally named Duck by the military for the waterproof ability. Through the years since WWII both the names and uses have multiplied and are too numerous to list without taking up the rest of your day. One of the most recent uses occurred in Providence,RI where a crew from National Grid used Duct tape to hold together a pole that had been split when a truck ran into it. The pole was scheduled to be replaced in the future but a concerned citizen in the area was afraid the fix wasn't going to hold so after 3 weeks of holding the damaged pole together they moved up the repair and replaced to pole earlier this week. Got to love that stuff!

No Problem

While the rest of the country is fighting for several meaningful causes a 22 year old Michigan college student decided it would be good for laughs to fill a pothole with Lucky Charms and a gallon of milk and eat his breakfast out of the pothole. In his defense maybe he was just bringing some levity to the situations at hand but he made no claims to anything that noble,nor was he pointing out the decaying road conditions. Maybe it's just the incredibly poor timing that irritates me,high school kids across the country marching to protect themselves and future generations from being shot and killed by automatic weapons while pursuing an education and meanwhile this dude decides to eat Lucky Charms for laughs.

Flat Earther

It is hard to believe with all the science to prove otherwise that there are still those who insist the Earth is flat. Their motto is:The mission of the Flat Earth Society is to promote and initiate discussion of Flat Earth theory as well as archive Flat Earth literature. Our forums act as a venue to encourage free thinking and debate. Armed with that knowledge let me introduce today's whack-a-doodle. This 61 year old man has spent $20,000 since 2016 putting together a steam powered rocket with which he was going to prove his theory that the Earth is a disc shaped object similar to a Frisbee rather than what the rest of us think of as a more or less a spheroid.  You've got to love these science deniers.  

Just Following Orders

An employee at a Pizza Hut in Virginia lost their job for writing a joke requested by the customer in an online order on the pizza box. The customer turned out to be two boys ages 12 and 15 but when their mother found the joke she was irate and called to complain ending with the employee losing their job. Stop me if I'm wrong but instead of blaming the employee shouldn't she first get better control over her own sons? Inappropriate joke or not it wouldn't have been on the box had her sons not requested it. The joke was a bit on the cheesy side if you'll pardon the pun. "What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?" "They both have to smell it,but neither of them get to eat it."
 

Buy Another Round!

I'm thinking this post should go into the more money than sense category,but as always you can judge for yourself. A bar in London set a Guinness record for the most expensive shot when it sold a shot of cognac for $14,168. The 1.4 oz serving of Rome de Bellegarde is believed to be the very first blend created by the distiller in 1894. It is none of anyone's business how someone chooses to spend their money but it seems like there must be a better way than one shot just to get into a record book, I can only hope she didn't slam it. Who knows,maybe the woman gives equal amounts to charities too? 

Failure

I'm having a hard time figuring out how three American exchange students (20 years old) studying in Italy did not know they needed to use water to cook pasta. Seriously where have they been living in a cave? 20 years is more than an adequate amount of time to come across that piece of information,and what about reading the instructions when all else remains a mystery? Sure the instructions may have been in Italian but since they went there to study it seems safe to assume they might be able to decipher some simple instructions. Of course since they didn't know to use water to cook the pasta they also had no clue how to put the fire out so they call the fire department,at least they knew how to do that.

Eat a Frog

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning,and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day." A quote from the ever quotable Mark Twain. I thought it was somewhat appropriate for today's post,but you can be the judge. I heard on the radio yesterday afternoon about research showing that a person was more productive if their house was clean. I just couldn't see the correlation unless they were considering the act of cleaning part of the productivity. It reminded me of a meme I saw awhile back about women sewing in the 1950s,something about cleaning house first and putting on makeup so you would feel good,which was also advice I found disturbing...even though I don't sew.

This is not the one I was thinking of,but it will have to
do!

Not Dead Yet

This poor 63 year old man returned home to Romania after working 20 years in Turkey to discover his adulterous wife had had him declared dead so she could marry again. If that by itself wouldn't be bad enough he cannot get authorities to reverse the paperwork/decision that he is dead so he can't work because he doesn't officially exist. The wife is thought to be living in Italy and it seems to me like she is the one they should go after since she filed false documents but who knows what the loopholes would be when trying to straighten something like this out between different countries who most likely all have slightly different laws. If the poor man actually existed we could start a go fund me page for him.

Wait...What??

How is it possible to drive down a highway without a tire and not notice? Most people notice if a tire has low air pressure because the steering wheel will pull to the side with the low tire,or if the low tire is in the rear the handling gets a little squirrely. After several calls from the public reporting a car driving with no tire police pulled the car over and awarded the driver with various violations (I'm just guessing but I think one of those violations must have been for intoxication of one sort or another). The driver said they didn't know what was wrong with the car. Oh,this happened in England,not Florida.

Blast From the Past

I don't recognize many of these sexist ads from yesteryear but I didn't spend much time pouring over magazines then either. The interesting thing I noticed is some are outright abusive both in the wording and actions being portrayed. Not exactly a stellar representation of the "Good Old Days".