I don't remember what it was that made me start thinking about how nursery rhymes and fairy tales are outdated,but I have been mentally indulging in those changes for several days. So before I make myself go bonkers from the continual recitals I am going to release them into the wild!
If Jack and Jill were to go for water today,instead of going up the hill to get a pail they would go around the corner and grab a bottle of water. Speaking of Jack,if he was sent to town to sell the family cow today instead of coming back with magic beans he would probably buy drugs and never come back at all. What about Hickory Dickory Dock? The mouse wouldn't have to run very far and the clock would simply change to one,no striking involved. The butcher,baker and candle stick maker in modern times would be the butcher,baker and tech guy. Snow White would no longer live with Dwarfs,she would live with seven vertically challenged miners (not to be confused with minors!,but who knows?). Hansel and Gretel would be on the run from the authorities for elder abuse,but they would be okay, as today they would have GPS. Rock-a-bye baby,the rocker would be arrested for child abuse. The old woman who lived in a shoe would no longer live in a shoe or worry about feeding her children as she would be making out like a bandit on Welfare. No more worries about the Three Blind Mice,PETA would step in and that farmer's wife would be made to pay for their tails. The little lamb that Mary had? It would no doubt opt for following her on Twitter rather than going out into the weather to follow her to school,and never mind the risks of getting made into roadkill!
If Jack and Jill were to go for water today,instead of going up the hill to get a pail they would go around the corner and grab a bottle of water. Speaking of Jack,if he was sent to town to sell the family cow today instead of coming back with magic beans he would probably buy drugs and never come back at all. What about Hickory Dickory Dock? The mouse wouldn't have to run very far and the clock would simply change to one,no striking involved. The butcher,baker and candle stick maker in modern times would be the butcher,baker and tech guy. Snow White would no longer live with Dwarfs,she would live with seven vertically challenged miners (not to be confused with minors!,but who knows?). Hansel and Gretel would be on the run from the authorities for elder abuse,but they would be okay, as today they would have GPS. Rock-a-bye baby,the rocker would be arrested for child abuse. The old woman who lived in a shoe would no longer live in a shoe or worry about feeding her children as she would be making out like a bandit on Welfare. No more worries about the Three Blind Mice,PETA would step in and that farmer's wife would be made to pay for their tails. The little lamb that Mary had? It would no doubt opt for following her on Twitter rather than going out into the weather to follow her to school,and never mind the risks of getting made into roadkill!
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