Good Wrinkles?

I know hard to believe that there is anything good about wrinkles but technically the wrinkles I'm referring to aren't really wrinkles but the pruney feature our hands and feet display after being immersed in water. It was once thought to be caused by the skin absorbing water and swelling but it is actually the blood vessels constricting below the skin which indicates the wrinkling is controlled by the nervous system. The difference that information makes means it is an evolutionary in purpose. After the wrinkles being researched it became apparent that when the fingers and toes were wrinkled it allowed for better grip making it easier for our ancestors to grasp wet things and walk on slippery surfaces. My conclusion is I won't need to soak my hands or feet,I can just use my face for traction purposes!

Crazy Gauge

When I read about the unboxing craze I thought it was a lead in to a joke,but when I found out it was a real deal my crazy gauge started beeping like...well,crazy! I just couldn't grasp the entertainment value of watching someone open new electronics or unwrap Kinder Eggs or anything else for that matter,of course I also don't understand how the shopping channels put some people in a trance like state which induces them to spend money on things they neither want nor need. Apparently unboxing made its debut in 2006 with a Nokia E61 but didn't really catch fire until 2010. The only attraction that I can imagine is if some insight was offered on how to open some of the packaging that is so difficult to get into,but alas that isn't part of the show,just opening the item and going on ad nauseam about the details of the product.

Wanna Walnetto?

I was innocently going about my morning when I wondered if I needed to add nuts to my shopping list. My next thought was what kind of nuts should I get,my favorites go back and forth between cashews and pistachios,but I have been intending to see if they had walnuts in the bulk section as they are supposed to be really good for you. No sooner than the word walnut entered my brain that I wondered whatever happened to Walnettos. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Walnettos they are a chewy caramel-walnut candy introduced in the US in 1919 and were a long time movie theater favorite. Walnettos made a big comeback in the 1960s from a skit done on the TV show Laugh-In. Artie Johnson played Tyrone Horneigh,a dirty old man who would make a weekly offer to a little old woman,played by Ruth  Buzzi ,"Wanna Walnetto?" She would reply by bashing him over the head with her purse. Maybe it was one of those things you have to see for yourself?

Just Hum Along

Since today is National Kazoo Day it seemed appropriate to include a Kazoo-centric post to honor the little hummer. The kazoo's earliest history places it in African rituals where it was made with an animal horn and the membrane from spider eggs and then used to disguise the voice. According to legend the modern kazoo was invented by a former slave who gave the plans to a German clock maker to produce the instrument. Two years later it made its first public appearance at the 1852 Georgia State Fair,but the sub like shape we know today wasn't introduced until 1902. The kazoo can be as versatile as the person playing it and has went from its humble beginnings in jug bands to classical works by Richard Wagner and Leonard Bernstein. You may also be able to hear it in pieces by Frank Zappa,The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix. It is an instrument that is easy to learn and the only part that wears out is the resonator which is easily replaced,so go out and kazoo!
 

Poly Wanna?

Today's post should be filed under fact is often stranger than fiction. A 60 year old ex-mafia enforcer who spent 7 years in prison for stabbing a man in a bar fight,claims to have been jailed 20 times,fathered 12 children by 5 different women and naturally stole a bible while serving his last term,found god and became an ordained minister after his release. Not strange enough for you yet? Okay,he marries a 44 year old woman and after 7 years of marriage he meets a 19 year old woman whom he has known since she was little and marries her...no he didn't divorce wife # 1. But wait there's more! Wife #2 is pregnant and all concerned are happy about adding to the family in fact he is building a new house with a wing for each wife. The wives each spend 3 nights a week with him,he apparently rests on the 7th night. He is fighting to make polygamy legal and sees no difference between it and gay marriage. One more thing...where does he get the money to support 2 wives,a upcoming child and build a house with two wings? The ministry must pay much better than I would have guessed.

People Are Strange

When the song "People Are Strange" was released in 1967 The Doors had no idea how normal things were then,of course they could have been talking about being drugged to the gills rather than everyday strangeness. I have mentioned in the past that I feel politically correctness is getting out of hand and today I am going to offer further proof of my suspicions. A group of San Francisco residents are concerned about calling thieves criminals as it is too harsh and dehumanizing. The suggestion was to refer to the thieves as "the person who stole my bike,or bag"...seriously? The more I hear the picayune arguments about politically correctness the more I understand why people are resorting to violence! Don't get excited I was only exaggerating,not to unlike the over exaggerated campaign for political correctness. End of rant.

What's the Weirdest Part?

This whole story reeks of strange,first a woman decides to put a three year old Chicken McNugget for sale on e-Bay and give the proceeds to a church fundraiser. Okay,that is a nice thought,but what does it say about the preservatives in the McNugget? and how much could a person expect to gain from the sale of one piece of chicken? The claim was that the McNugget looked like George Washington in profile,but even at that who would buy a three year old McNugget regardless of who or what it looked like? As it turns out the woman received 71 bids,the page was viewed over 40,000 times and the winning bid? Could I have a drum roll please...$8,100! I'm sorry but I don't understand why a person would pay that much for a Chicken McNugget,and as far as foods that look like things other than food goes why would anyone get excited about them? Theoretically food items are prone to spoilage so any enjoyment gained from viewing them would be short lived...then again the Chicken McNugget was three years old. Maybe it's just me.

Fitting Punishment

This guy is thinking in the right direction,of course what he is proposing would never come to pass in the states but a girl can dream.
An Indonesian anti-drug chief wants to put drug dealers on an island surrounded with crocodiles because a crocodile can't be bribed to help them escape. His plan includes dropping food on a daily basis but other than that they would have to survive on their own(the prisoners,not the crocodiles). Indonesia's current laws allow for traffickers to face the death penalty by firing squad,but the anti-drug chief proposes they should face death by overdosing on the very drugs they were pedaling. Though some might think this is too harsh for a first time offender, I would be all for it if it was their second or third offense.

What a Sucker!

A 47 year old Illinois man literally sucks. He has an unspecified medical condition that causes inanimate objects to stick to his skin. He discovered his ability 20 years ago after shaving his head for the first time. It was a hot day at the ball park so he put his soda can to his head to cool off,at the same moment a ball was hit in his direction,in his haste to try to grab the ball he lost track of his soda. When the excitement was over he couldn't find his drink and everyone was laughing and pointing at him as it was stuck horizontally to his head,spilling all over. Since his discovery he has made a business out of his condition and is paid to wear company logos,attend parties and MC events. At one NASCAR event he had his picture taken over 80,000 times,another job benefit is meeting famous people,but he remains humble as he doesn't want to lose his head!

Companion Items

Today's post makes me feel sad for all the people who have lost pets to deaths of various sorts. The difference with the Aibo (stands for artificial intelligence robot) is they were technically never alive but that didn't stop their owners from growing attached. Sony started making the robotic dogs in 1999 and sold about 150,000 units for around $2,000 per pet. They decided to discontinue the Aibos in 2006 in order to compete in their more profitable markets (TVs,&games) but the killing blow came in 2014 when they quit servicing and selling parts to keep the pets working. Each of the pets developed their own personality based on interactions with their owners so you can imagine how a person would come to think of the robots as a living pet. They were also perfect for people who traveled or worked long hours as they didn't need to be fed or walked. They are even honored with funerals in Japan where the bulk of them were sold. RIP Aibo.

Fairly Recent Idiom

The phrase "not my circus,not my monkeys isn't all that old. It is a Polish saying and though not easily tracked to its origin the best guess is the late 1990's. The reason I am bringing up this fun phrase is it has become my mantra in the last few months and I am willing to bet my blood pressure has went down since I begin using it. I'm not sure if it is just a type A personality thing or what it is that causes people to jump into "fix it" mode whenever they see a train wreck in progress as usually any offered advice is either discarded or only partially used which is just as bad if not worse. I don't know what it is that resonates with me about the phrase but I am finally released from the mental burden of keeping other people from making their own mistakes,and in case no one noticed the world is still spinning without my assistance! Thanks to the Pole that first spoke the words of my mantra. I can only hope I will recognize the occasion when it is my circus and my monkeys.

The Good Ol' Wars

Yesterday when I heard about the gas wars in Michigan it brought back pleasant memories of my early driving years when during a gas war the prices would go as low as .19 per gallon. It was common to pull into a gas station and only get $1 worth of gas which was enough to cruise on for most of the day and still have enough to get home later on. It was standard procedure for the station's attendants to wash your windshield,check your oil, and the air pressure of your tires all to insure you would patronize their station in the future. Some girls would flirt with the younger attendants in hope of distracting them so they would get more gas than they had asked for,then the unfortunate attendant had to pay for his mistake. At .47 cents per gallon it would almost be worth a road trip just to get a cheap tank of gas again! There is talk now of the prices going down all over but I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

With Meatballs

Do we all remember Kim Davis the hypocritical clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples? I recently read about a woman in Massachusetts who insisted on wearing a colander on her head for her license photo because of her religious beliefs,Pastafarian aka Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. My first thought was of Kim Davis and her ever so devout leanings...would she allow the woman her religious freedom? or would it be a repeat of her anti gay stance and get her more jail time? It would almost be worth the time and trouble to show up in her office wearing a colander as religious head gear and apply for a license. In New York a man was elected to town council and attended his first meeting complete with colander,apparently the religion is gaining membership at least on the east coast so maybe it is only a matter of time before a Pastafarian applies for a license in Kim's office. Can't wait for the headline!

Do You Drink Alone?

Every time I hear the words "drink alone" I start singing George Thorogood's song in my mind. Even though he preferred to be by himself he had his buddy Weiser,Johnny Walker,his Old Grand-Dad and a cast of others to keep him company while he drank alone. The same was not true for a South Korean inventor who didn't enjoy drinking alone so he invented Drinky a bro-bot. Drinky listens to your problems without judging,giving an occasional nod or thumbs up to keep up his side of the conversation he can also clink glasses with you as if he were a human companion. Perhaps his best feature is instead of consuming the alcohol like a human friend Drinky has a glass jar for a stomach so if you run low on alcohol Drinky's portion can be appropriated for your own use! In that way he far exceeds a human companion. The bad news is Drinky is not being mass produced,so you will have to take a page out of George Thorogood's songbook if you don't care for drinking alone.

Being Different

I am pretty much old school when it comes to how I outwardly express my uniqueness in that I don't feel like I have to sport tattoos to scream my difference or have multiple body piercings,but that isn't true for everyone, especially today. In my opinion with so many people being tattooed and pierced it makes them less different,kind of like what my mother used to say,"if everyone else jumped off a cliff would you jump too?" But I'm digressing once again,my intended topic is how the all over the body piercings work,I had no idea until I looked it up. They use either a large gauge needle or a punch to make what is called dermal piercing,then an anchor is inserted which the outer ornamentation is screwed onto. That would be enough to stop me in my tracks having a piece of metal permanently lodged under my skin,never mind that in some areas of the body there will be a continuing fluid leakage from the piercing that includes an unpleasant smell,so I guess in that way a person would also be different. Today's post is courtesy of the Facebook post of the guy with horns,facial tattoos and piercing. He was definitely different looking.

Dermal punch tool

Could I have Tater Tots With That?

I'm thinking this may be another case of stoned or stupid but maybe the guy was just tired and hungry,whichever the case may be the 44 year old broke into a house around 2 pm fixed himself a snack of tater tots,ate and fell asleep on the sofa. The resident was startled when she came downstairs to find a man napping in her living room,she ran back upstairs,called the police then left by the front door. The activity rousted the man who dashed out the back door and through a fence before being captured by the waiting policemen. There was no mention of anything except the tater tots being stolen but the man is being held on $30,000 bail as he has a record for drugs and weapons. Okay now let's see how many of you guessed Florida...nope! This one goes on the record for California.

Tainted Charity

In the last decade I've become more and more jaded about charities. The first ones to be crossed off my list were the ones that sent you gifts (address labels and note pads) for your donation. I neither want nor need anything when I make a donation...is it just me or does that seem counterproductive to the cause? Another thing to watch for are companies who change the wording of well known charities and are actually for profit companies whose soul purpose is scamming donations. Also to be avoided are companies that call for donations,even if they are legitimately connected to the charity they are calling for they receive from .50-.90 per every dollar they collect. Last on the list has been a trusted organization since it was founded in 1881 but has on more than one occasion failed to spend the money donated for certain disasters on those in need. I am talking about Red Cross and the Haiti earthquake of 2010. Over $500 million was collected but none of the projects seemed to get off the ground and officials had no answers for where the money had been spent. Donate with caution.
 

Shiftless

Apparently all of the postings I've seen on Facebook asking if people knew what a stick shift lever was aren't that far off track after all. I was reading a humor piece about two girls in Houston,TX who stole a car at gun point but couldn't make a get away as it was a stick shift. Out of curiosity I decided to see if it was true...not only was it true it wasn't an isolated incident! There are thousands of people trying to steal cars they have no idea how to drive. How did we get to this point? Most everyone from my generation knew how to drive a manual transmission,not only because they were more common then but it was also a sense of honor or maybe achievement is a better word? Fast forward into a new millennium and not only are we plagued with a generation of shiftless drivers but they aren't bright enough to know the difference! Maybe technology really is rotting the minds of the masses.