Life is pretty much a balancing act or if you prefer you could think of yourself as a juggler trying to keep the balls in the air,but what about kids? It has been brought to my attention that kids in these times we live in are being over scheduled to the point of having no free time. I understand the logic that has brought it to this point,in keeping them busy they have no time to get into trouble,and exposing them to several different things will hopefully make them into a well rounded adult,but every minute of every day? What about time to just be a kid,and play? What about just having a little down time to use their imagination? They surely won't have time for much of that once they are adults and with any luck join the work force. This also makes me question if this is why kids don't seem to strike out on their own like they used too,people say it is because it is so much more expensive these days,but with considering COLA raises the same apply to wages so I don't think this is necessarily true. Maybe with all the over exposure to choices they can't narrow it down and figure out what they want to be when they grow up,or maybe they are so dependent on the parents by the time they reach adulthood they are afraid to take the plunge. I am not talking about just having a kid play a sport but the push for them to do everything that comes down the pike,dance,music,extra classes and clubs the lists I am hearing are endless and make me tired just thinking about it. Is this good parenting or avoiding being a parent? It seems to me the only free time the kids that are over scheduled would have they would need to be spend sleeping,so when does time with the parents come into play? I may be way off base here...we all know it wouldn't be the first time,but it sure leaves me wondering.
I have pondered this myself. It is good to be exposed to different things, to have opportunities. But as you mentioned, children need to have freedom too. Childhood doesn't last long compared to the rest of our lives and what we are expected to do in our adulthood....earn livings, raise families, be part of the world.
ReplyDeleteChildhood should reflect that one time in our lives when we aren't responsible, when play is a priority instead of a luxury.
Just for arguments sake - it wasn't that long ago that children didn't have the freedom of doing anything but working - if you lived on a farm you worked for your family. If you were poor you would be lucky if you got an education - many people didn't have the opportunity to finish high school or even middle school "back in the day", around the great depression and earlier. They had to pass laws years ago to protect children from harsh labor (I remember learning about it, I am much to young to have been there at the time!!!).
We've come such a long way that the problems you've listed above - over scheduling, etc....seem to be the by-product of a culture that has too much stuff and not enough family down time or even mental peace. It is a skill in and of itself to know how to be still and live in the moment, find joy in simple things that don't require scheduling or classes. There is a verse in the bible that basically says "Be still and know that I am God." One of the best ones I'm thinking. Be still. A very hard thing for me to do. But something to strive for. If the parents can find a bit of inner peace in their hectic lives, maybe they'll pass that skill on to their kids.
Oh Boy, this is a subject I have some opinions on.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the first things we need to do is unplug our youngens from about half of the technology some younger parents have allowed their children to become addicted to (psychological dependence) They are so over connected they don't have any time to develop personal judgement. It takes some quiet time to learn to exercise self discipline. Judgement and discipline are important survival skills.
I talk to and work with kids everyday and a huge problem I see is their ability (or lack of) to communicate, there is nothing I hate to see more than a child writing out a request for research materials and it's written in texting language. Where did English go?
In the summer my kids went off to camp for a week, they learned some independence while they were there, they learned to interact, they developed relationships and made friends. They looked forward to that adventure every summer and they were made to understand the expense and value of that experience.
My life was not about keeping every minute of their lives over stimulated. I think I was a parent not their best friend. When they started something we expected them to finish it, not quit as soon as they became bored and move on to something else. They all graduated from college with honors, they went to college on scholarships and grants. My job was to teach them how to get those scholarships not to totally finance their higher education. When they became discouraged because it was hard work we reminded them that compared to the length of their entire life a few years in college was a short time. We worked hard at keeping them connected to life's reality. We worked hard at not lightening their load. When it would have been easier for us to just do it for them we had to remind ourselves it was our job to teach them to stand on their own feet.
They all looked forward to being out in the world on their own and none of ours have ever had to return home. Now we'd like them to come back and help out on the farm. OK, that ain't happening.